To be frustrated at Ill kids going in

[Shelbygirl15]

Last week my child went to school with a yucky cold on the first day of it. I felt absolutely awful about it and she was sent home within half an hour for being peaky and streaming eyes. I was glad she was sent home because I wanted her to be home, but she had already had 2 days off last month and I was having abit of an attendance panic.

She's back now and the teachers off Ill and it sounds like there's lots going around. What has struck me is my friend's son has had the worst cough and cold for three weeks and has had zero days off. Not even when he was coughing until he was swallowing his sick on the way to school. He's not been sent home and managed to get through the day. He had a toilet accident yesterday at school and she had to go change him. He went swimming last night then this morning she tells me he had the squits last night but he's ok today so he's gone in. He was holding hands with my child minutes before she told me. So now my DD is at risk of getting a stomach bug when she's only just gone back. It will be my luck we will all be ill in the next few days. She's so prone to it. Just pees me off really that people don't want to keep their children off so they have good attendance. They responsible parents who keep theirs off get the rubbish attendance!

But OK if you do it?

People need to be more aware of when to keep their children off. A mild illness like a cold is something you woulkd put up with so thats fine foir children to go into school with but if they had the runs they definitely should be home for 48 hours. I understand that people have to work but there are rules. If calpol will help them, they should have some and go in if its a cold UNLESS D&V which has a 48 hour exclusion!

Not with stomach issues I wouldn't dream of it no. Colds are continuously spreading so I made a rubbish judgment (I admit that) based on all the other kids are full of cold and not having time off.you can't keep them off with colds as such anyway unless they are bad. So yes they sent her home and I happily kept her off for 48 hours.

@EmperorBallpitine

Agreed. my friend doesn't work and she's so lovely and I never have a bad thing to say about her. Ive just noticed she won't keep him off. There's been 2 days without s doubt he needed to be home. It's great that he's powered through with his rotten cough and cold. Not so great she's risking giving several kids a bad stomach. I just feel annoyed that my daughter has held his hands and will without a doubt put her hands in her mouth this morning before washing them.

I agree with you OP. It's utterly selfish and there is no excuse if your friend doesn't work. I do have a small amount of sympathy for families where both DPs work, as it can be terrible timing when a DC is ill, but D&V or temp = stay at home. I've kept mine at home too for a bad cold/cough if I know they feel so rotten they won't be able to concentrate and will just spread the bugs around. Schools need to be very clear about their policy on illness, particularly at the start of the year and with parents new to schooling, because it's not just the DC that get ill, it's the teachers and then everyone in the class suffers.

The problem is, there's so much pressure on attendance that people try to attend when they really shouldn't.

Not to mention the ridiculous 100% attendance awards at the end of the year. So you're being penalised for being unwell.

Yeah I have three kids and they all have been through that phase of putting their hands in their mouths all the time. Children do, and they get tummy upsets, worms etc in the early school years as a result. All of those things could avoid being spread so far with people encouraging good hygiene (hand washing) and staying off when they know a child is ill. My son used to regularly get tummy upsets due to an intolerance which we now have a better grasp of, and even though his sickness was not a bug, usually, I kept him off in cases where it wasn't clear.
Some illness is inevitable in the petri dish of an infant classroom but i feel its rather mean letting a child loose at school when they are suffering. Its hard enough to manage diahorreah as an adult let alone when you're a little child in communal school toilets with scratchy loo paper. They are so embarrassed and sad, they often hide what's going on and can't clean up properly.

I agree! The draconian attendance thing is so hard for the little ones that just catch everything. I hate it. It was a nightmare when my DH was immunocompromised.

Absolutely. My friend doesn't work so is able to keep him home. I think she's going for 100% attendance but at this age it's not easily going to happen. Personally I think it's easier to achieve this above the age of 7 when the immune system is supposed to be fully developed.

People never consider how it affects others when they send them in with gastro issues.plenty of new baby siblings are in my DD playground and there's also the teachers who get Ill. Plus people might have family who are fighting cancer etc and can't be exposed to it. I find it all very selfish and ignorant. I've ordered a special hand sanitizer off Amazon that claims to kill norovirus too. I hope it arrives soon so I can pop some on her hands for this season. Roll on spring.

Totally agree with you about any D&V, it can spread like wild fire through a classroom and through a family. For a cold though, I send DS in. He's only in nursery at school anyway so 2.5 hours.

Yeah I agree that's why I sent her in last week. I did feel sorry for her. But I calpoled her up and hoped she would be ok. Let's face it schools an early start and sometimes by 10.30am they are bouncing around playing. I misjudged it and they sent her home. She gets around ten colds a year and last year she had 18 separates viruses at nursery. I started counting because I was so concerned. I'm hoping each year gets a little better. Also hoping we don't have to have a stomach bug every year. As a child I never got any that I remember. Maybe 1 or 2 in 12 years. I really hope this can be the case for my DD as she's had 7 on her short life!

But you did it with a cold? Colds can be serious to some people. As can D&V.

Attendance measures are draconian yes but ill is ill. You're just as bad.

You won't remember being ill as a child but you will have been. Infant years esp nursery are the worst, but as they get older, they usually get less colds etc. Unless a new vomiting bug goes around. Fun! When your child comes home and tells you So and So barfed in the classroom. Who will be first to catch it? Its like a horrible game show.

I hate this time of year my dd has a weak immune system so even a cold can mean 2/3 days in hospital juggling that and work leaves me shattered. I hate knowing she is mixing with kids at school who are ill and really should be at home but for the sake of a 100% certificate or an easier day for parents they are sent to school to spread their germs.

School attendance criteria usually say children with average cold or headache can come into school with calpol.
Unless you KNOW there's an immunocompromised child, and the school have asked people to be careful, you can't keep them off for every sniffle. I am speaking as a mother of three currently undergoing chemotherapy myself so I am not "I'm alright Jack", I am affected by these illnesses disproportionately. I still don't think you should encourage children to view light illness as a reason to stay off school. There has to be a balance of common sense. D&V is 48hr exclusion but not colds.
I'm afraid I find your comment virtue signalling @turnthebiglightoff

Yep I agree colds can be bad too. My son ended up in hospital Six months ago for four days. I do take it all seriously and I am not just as bad because stomach issues are way worse than colds. They mean families can be stuck home for a week with their heads in a bucket. Whereas a cold you can still go pick your child up and function enough to eat, sleep and work. Unless it's extreme. But to be fair even extreme ones don't stop you functioning to the extent you can't care for your kids. Stomach bugs are horrendous and they are way worse than spreading the sniffles.. I don't send her on with temperatures etc.

My mum has confirmed I never was prone to stomach bugs. I had colds and chickenpox and that was it. My mum's never heard of these things today like hand foot and mouth. We are far too clean today. I lived on a farm as a child and I wonder sometimes if that boosted me!

and I am not just as bad because stomach issues are way worse than colds

For us colds are worse. DD has asthma and if she gets a cold, unless we’re lucky it develops into much worse.

Colds are also worse for us than stomach bugs. A stomach bug is usually 12 hours of sickness then the 48 hour exclusion (all three of mine currently have a stomach bug and my oldest two are off school, going stir crazy as they were last sick on Monday night and are feeling fine now but we’re obeying the 48 hour rule!). A cold however will always lead to 4/5 days of wheezing and breathing issues with DD1.

@shelbygirl15 I think you probably were immune to HF&M after living on a farm , yes! There is a link between immune system and playing in dirt , I mean how ever did our fore fathers manage before Zoflora Joking aside (I do know about historical childhood mortality) some colds are very bad but I think if you look at your child and think 'i would be able to go to work with these symptoms' then they can go into school. (Except not tummy bugs. There's no excuse. Adults are supposedly better at washing hands but I've seen infants sent to school with the runs and its just sad)

@EmperorBallpitine virtue signalling is just an idiots inflated way of describing an opinion.

Colds can cause serious problems in some, as can D&V. That's a cold hard fact. OP is asking whether people are unreasonable for sending sick kids to school. The answer is yes they are - and so was she.

It is very hard when both parents work, yes. Absence measures for small children are draconian, yes. But I know of children who have been hospitalised and one who died (my cousin) after colds had triggered terrible asthma attacks. Am I still virtue signalling?

It is difficult if they have resp issues, hopefully school is warm and teacher clued up?

Yeah there's a child with asthma in my daughter's class. He's had loads of days off. I really do feel for anyone with a child with this. It's literally not a safe environment for them to be in with a weak chest and it sounds horrendous. I know it causes this child's parents alot of stress. I know all this illness is apart of life but things wouldn't spread if people let kids rest and recover. But with the attendance targets you can soon rack up enough days off for a lecture. It's a really backwards system.

Yes

If I waited for my child's cold to completely go she would still be off today as she's still coughing etc. Colds can linger for two weeks plus. I just think gastro is over within 48 hours ISH. Then it's all down to good hand hygiene. so it shouldn't spread if people stay home. Where as colds don't put everyone down. Stomach bugs put everyone down. You can't carry on with the. No matter who you are. I. Aware there are some exceptions when children have asthma etc. It's not fair on them at all but colds never go away and there's over 200 strains of them.

At our school, it would absolutely be expected that a child would go in with a yucky cold, then the school May then decide they should be sent home. This doesn't mean that as a parent I would follow that blindly, of course I decide what is the best for my child, but it's made very clear in the school attendance info that a bad cold is bit a reason for a child to be off.
For D&V, it's the 48hr rule. However, I know parents who regularly flout this and it drives me mad.
I've been lucky so far, my DC's rarely get sick, but I hope that the decisions I make when they are ill are the best ones for both them and for their classmates.