Sabbatical to support 11+

[Yookytooky]

Looking for some advice from those who have been through the 11+ process. We are in the hyper competitive north London area aiming for top independent schools. Both DH and I work full time. I'm planning to take a sabbatical to support the 11+ prep for DC but not sure how long and when to take it. Would 3 months be too short and would oct to early jan, just before exams be a good plan? Any helpful advice welcome please!

Yooky, I have just gone through this with my DS.

First know your child’s ability, if they are generally working well then either tutor yourself or get a tutor.

My son had a tutor twice a week for seven weeks starting from October - really for maths and NVR, I couldn’t do it. Tutor gave no homework, which worked for him and me! Tutor was for an hour each session, which I thought was enough.

He was able to cope but tbh I wished I started a couple of months earlier. I also did verbal reasoning with him too. That was via the Bond book.

You also have to know when to back off and let them have fun. We did nothing on the weekends apart from going out, sport and reading. And a lot of PS4 when no tutoring.

Do lots of past papers from the indies you want to go to. It’s possible, but if you can do a little bit over the summer please do. It’s also about getting your child to work quickly and accurately under exam conditions, so you will have to do some work over Xmas.

He went for two indies and got both. So I wish you the best of luck. Yes, it can be done especially if your child wants to go to the school and they understand they need to be at a certain level in order to be in with a chance!

I work flexibly and believe it helped him as I could support him at home when needed. So, if you can be there and it works for you - go for it!

Interesting thread. I have a demanding career in the city and have been considering a sabbatical for the same reason - I have twins who have just finished year 4 at private prep school who will both be taking 11+ in year 6.
The thought of having two children going through this at the same time is stressing me out already and I am actually quite laid back compared to a lot of parents round here (north London!!)

Appreciate this will be a controversial view. If it takes for you to take a sabbatical to get your child through this the 11+, as a result of passing they will not be in the right school for them and you will need to take more time off to help them maintain standards they have artificially reached.

I tutor for 11+ in Luton (very competitive area) and my course is from September to September. It depends on how long you're able to tutor for each day.
I personally feel as if many people are very judgemental.. in the Luton area if you don't get into a private/ grammar school the alternative is very bleak.
Focus on NVR and VR as he won't have seen it in everyday, and ensure his maths and English is above average and you'll be fine.

Thanks for all the helpful comments, really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. DC in a v nurturing prep and has a relaxed (i.e. not pressurised but more about practising strategies and building confidence) 121 tutor for 1 hr/week, we started shortly after yr4 summer exams.
We have other DC and work full time as mentioned so felt this was the best way to provide the individual support we would have provided at home if we had more time and expertise in teaching/learning methods. We are looking at a range of schools and are not fixated on 1 or 2 top independents however, DC has demonstrated potential to thrive in those environments. We do a huge range of extra curricular which DC loves. Not planning to apply to local grammars where application process appears to be quite different.

Hearing stories of what people did 20 years ago is not particularly helpful or relevant. I passed the 11plus from v humble background and no academic support at home at all and got into a top grammar, as did my siblings, we are all oxbridge/top professionally qualified. Sadly a similar child today would not be capable of achieving the eye-wateringly high results required at 11plus where they have not been taught part of the subject matter at school. The system now is quite disgusting in that unless you have dedicated parents (ideally with money to spare whether for 11plus books, tutors or music lessons, etc, etc) as a child, you would have to be like Roald Dahl's Matilda and teach yourself materials and skills e.g. VR which are not covered by the state school curriculum. It's not fair by any stretch but we all want to do what's best for our DC.

And we are absolutely not pushing our DC to get into the 'best' school but the right school for them as an individual. We believe the right school could be any one of several options and will also have some backups. I want to be around as much as possible during this critical period for all the reasons previously mentioned but primarily to support my DC through it emotionally as much as anything else.

God I am so lucky we live in the depths of the country and she is nourished by sea swims and dancing. These spark her imagination and at 7 she has a reading age of 15 and a writing age of 12.her maths is incredible (mostly because I love maths and we do sily competitions)shes scoring about 13 years old.i don't cram her,I couldn't send her away to school as we too far away.

Take the sabbatical over the summer holidays, you'll get to spend more time with them!

I've never heard of taking time off to coach for the 11+ but I do live in an area where the comps are pretty good, so grammar schools are less competitive than in other areas.

My dd got into a super selective grammar and also got an academic scholarship (50 percent of fees for life at school) to a great independent.

I hate to tell you that the testing aims to assess innate potential so the value of the tutoring and prep is fairly minimal. Not to say you don't need some but focusing on it to the extent of you taking time off wouldn't be necessary.

I managed to tutor dd myself with one hour a week distance support from an experienced tutor (that was me on skype to the tutor).

Dd did some work possibly an hour a week for the year leading up focusing on some practise questions to prep her for the vr and non vr, learning some maths that isn't covered until year six, and increasing vocabulary. Agree with the statement it's a marathon not a sprint.

If you work full time take your sabbatical over two lots of summer holidays you'll enjoy it more and in the year 5 holidays you could do 20 mins to half an hour work each day if you really thought it was necessary. Make the most of the years they are young and enjoy them, if they're naturally intelligent and driven you know yourself they will do well anyway.

Oh and I didn't need to give her any additional emotional support as she knew the testing wasn't a big deal from our perspective so her stress level was minimal.

I agree that an hour a week is plenty in order to familiarise with the sorts of puzzles they set and the exam papers if they go to a school that doesn't do them. But, depending on how good their primary is, you may need to focus on bringing their times tables up to scratch beyond 12x to 15 or more, give them some more interesting maths problems to solve, extend their vocab and do some creative writing. Prep schools will cover all this. State primaries won't, as they aren't prepping for 11+,

If you are in a high paying job, hire a cleaner and buy ready meals. Get your child a tutor (or two). Sit down with your child everyday 6-8pm supervising the work (I assume you come home at 6 like city working parents). You just need to closely “project manage” the whole thing. Identify weak areas and get support.

And ignore people who say “oh we did nothing, just 1 hour a year - our child passed the exams just like that”. My friend tells that to everyone. Truth is her DD went to a hothousing prep school and she had 3 tutors from Y4

An hour a week was enough for my state primary educated dd to learn the maths concepts, practise tables and vocabulary, and familiarise with the nvr and vr but I think if they have the intelligence needed to get into these schools they can pick up new concepts easily.

I hope people really don't make their year 5 children sit down for two hours at 6pm doing homework, that is surely counter productive??

My dd is now in yr 10 and can manage all her homework in under an hour per day, by 6pm she doesn't want to be still working, she's out doing sport usually!!

I can understand totally. I work 4 days a week and some weekends. I am doing my last weekend in September before exams in January. Partly to be around for open days, taster days etc but also to support a bit of revision rather than leave it all to DH who will have been going in different directions to matches and swimming all weekend. I want her to have a fair chance without me being overstretched.

And ignore people who say “oh we did nothing, just 1 hour a year - our child passed the exams just like that”. My friend tells that to everyone. Truth is her DD went to a hothousing prep school and she had 3 tutors from Y4

Whatever you want to believe, not everyone does that. We didn’t. Dd needed to learn the Y6 maths curriculum plus a bit, how to approach NVR and some exam technique, as her state primary hadn’t covered those.

No hothouse prep, no tutor other than DH, no work during the week (apart from the last couple of weeks before the exams, and that still fitted around her music etc.).

@Yookytooky have you looked into the music route? Some schools take an audition rather than a grade 5 distinction. Or sport? You say your kids do lots of extra curricular so look at this as a back up alongside the 11+ prep.
Sabbatical sounds fab if you can afford it. I can only imagine having more time and brain space for my kids.

My husband and myself work long hours too and I had the same worry, I dont have the information needed for 11+(books, tutors, side notes), is it too much pressure for my family, do I need to take time off to help the whole family relaxed better. From yr 5 my daughter went to a group tutor on Saturday mornings with summer breaks(6 weeks off) mainly because during the week it is impossible to squeeze in anything not mentioning pick and drop. We planned for private too. My husband then had an oversea operation and wasnt home for 6 months on top of it. In the end she did well, 3 academic scholarships( sw London) and Tiffins, she is going to one of an Indie which she has the scholarship. I took loads of time off in Jan for pick and drop but nothing unusual. I pretended to be calm as much as I could, carry on normal days: homework from tutor/school and reading in the afternoon when she was with childcare, music practice in the evening. Weekends: 1.5 hr group tutor, music classes, half day orchestra, chess club and evenings with Q&As for problems she didnt understand. English is our second language so we could t really help her anything with English. I personally think, children in family which both parents working eventually find a way to work around it. This is our experience however everyone is different, each family is different, if taking time off then you could have a fantastic “holiday” and still be able to support her to ease of the usual “chores” from a normal hectic family and you could afford then why not. However the reason shouldnt be because of 11+ only.

Hi OP, can you take holiday in the October half term and then take holiday/unpaid leave from the start of the Christmas hols through to when the exams are. That's pretty much what I did - not to spend all hours of the holiday doing maths but to have enough time and headspace to do some and also do normal things without rushing around getting back late from work. Good luck!

OP you are getting caught up in the north London panic. I’ve been through it fairly recently and honestly, they don’t need the level of preparation or support you are whipped into believing is necessary. A good tutor, a bit of extra prep and whatever school is doing is ample. My middle was at a non selective through private school. Of the children who sat to move they all got really good schools. The only one in my experience which is really really brutal in terms of getting into is NLCS and Highgate as is the only co-Ed academic option but Habs, City, UCS, South Hampstead, MT’s, St Alban’s, they really don’t need a sabbatical. I’d take your time off maybe December and then Jan and Feb got exams and interviews but I really don’t know anyone who has done that at all. Remember too that people will set as back ups not only to the grammars but also to the really good comps of which there are many!

Whoever said city parenta get in at 6pm - hahaha ! That is all!

OP - do what you feel is best for you. My DS got into superselective with me teaching him the areas of maths he had not covered/would not cover in school.

I also don't think you do need to have time off as a sabbatical but perhaps ask about droppibg to part time for a while if it frees up time for you to help out.

City parents get home at 6? I work part time and don’t get in at 6. I’m lucky is DH is home at 8.

We're in the same position in North london, awful options for local state and we've been told they have to get 100% right to stand any chance of guaranteeing a place to the top schools (grammar or selective - City of London, St Paul's, Westminster, qe boys etc). Ds's been doing some quick bonds papers since Christmas and (depending on the paper) gets 70-90%, whereas he usually scores close to 100% on the gls tests the school does. I'm lucky in that I can work from home, so oversee his work, but really don't know how much prep to do to put him in a good position —and I really don't want to ruin his holiday/life!

Some of his friends (non selective prep) have had tutors for 4-6 hours per week since y4, have been doing several full past papers every day since Xmas & doing mock exams at proper exam centres etc. I just don't know how what I do at home can prepare him in the same way.

Op if you'd be more relaxed taking a sabbatical to help see your ds through then do. It's a v v stressful time - especially when there aren't any good non-selective options.

leeloo they really don’t need to be getting 100% for the independents. Yes close to it for the grammars but really not for the rest