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Primary education

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Original poster

Sexual assault primary school

73 replies

Angryandupset12345 · 11/06/2019 17:34

Nc'ed. Dd (reception) was sexually assaulted at school today by another child in her class at lunchtime.

This boy has been dd's learning partner all year. There was a previous issue in the class earlier in the year, more minor, which I didn't realise he was he was involved with until now, and if I had done, I would have requested they were split up before now.

What do I say to the teacher tomorrow? What should the school be doing? So angry I can't think straight (and also upset for this boy, goodness knows what he's been exposed to).

My instinct is telling me to just pull her out of the school ASAP! But I guess the sensible thing to do is to see how the school deals with it?

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 11/06/2019 18:36

I doubt you will need to demand to see the head teacher. Perhaps phone and request a meeting. Unless the school knows and are hiding it from you then they have done nothing wrong. Doubt it's the best idea to go in all guns blazing.

littlepeaegg · 11/06/2019 18:38

The school's safeguarding officer needs to know ASAP.

MyDcAreMarvel · 11/06/2019 18:38

A 4/5 year old cannot sexually assault anyone. If what he did would be sexual assault in an older child or adult it is not simply due to his age.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 11/06/2019 18:44

Hope your daughter is okay

CloserIAm2Fine · 11/06/2019 18:49

MN does not need details, but the responses to a four year old lifting another child’s skirt up being silly will be very different to something more serious (of course the skirt lifting is not acceptable, but it’s not as sinister as “sexual assault” implies)

Do NOT gossip about this child. If he is copying behaviour he has seen or experienced then he needs understanding and sympathy just as much as your DD.

missyB1 · 11/06/2019 18:53

I sincerely hope you will not be going round spreading gossip and nasty rumours about a very young child! I’m stunned that you would even suggest that.
I’m sorry that this happened to your dd but let the school safeguarding lead know and they will deal with it.

Original poster
Angryandupset12345 · 11/06/2019 18:54

It wasn't an 'I'll show you mine... ' type situation.

Wouldn't really want to go to the police but keen that there is some sort of ss follow up as presumably this has stemmed from something in the boy's home life. Thanks knitclub, I will bear that in mind that I might need to report it to ss myself.

The school informed us initially, so that s something, anyway.

We have been praising and reassuring dd that she did the right thing in telling her teacher.

The bit I mentioned about telling other parents I meant in the context of telling them to keep an eye out for their daughters, not necessarily letting them know which child it was etc. Perhaps that would only cause them worry rather than help them though, I don't know.

I just hope the school gives us a decent response tomorrow.

OP posts:
scarecrowhead · 11/06/2019 18:55

Telling other parents will just lead to gossip, don't even think about it

Iggly · 11/06/2019 18:56

My dd had a similar incident twice with two different boys.

The first, on reflection, I massively over reacted because I realised that it was actually innocent.

The second, was worse and there was a safeguarding issue.

In both cases I emailed the head teacher and the class teacher separated the children and spoke to the children about what happened.

They also spoke to the parents about the incidents.

Overall I was satisfied with how it was handled.

benfoldsfive · 11/06/2019 18:56

So you have been informed by the school. Then what are they doing? You seem to think they aren't doing enough?

Iggly · 11/06/2019 18:56

And I most certainly didn’t mention to other parents - that’s malicious - especially with the age of children involved!

scarecrowhead · 11/06/2019 18:57

School will be following safeguarding protocol with regards to the boy

OKBobble · 11/06/2019 18:58

They will only be able to tell you what they will do tk safeguard your daughter. They will not be able to tell you what action thay are taking in regard to the boy.

Do not tell any other parents anything at all.

FamilyOfAliens · 11/06/2019 18:59

The bit I mentioned about telling other parents I meant in the context of telling them to keep an eye out for their daughters, not necessarily letting them know which child it was etc.

I’m not sure how you would keep an eye on your child in school?

LIZS · 11/06/2019 19:03

Sad for your dd and you. However do not talk about it with other parents. The school will follow their Safeguarding policy (it may well be on their website) which includes a process for referral to SS . You may only be told a limited amount about the other child as a consequence. Also try not to discuss it further with your dd , just reassure her that she has done well to speak up, but her account needs to be all in her own words and any discussion may influence that.

Missingstreetlife · 11/06/2019 19:03

Let school and ss look at this. If not happy after that you can make your child subject of gossip if you want. There may be an investigation in which case you will get guidance. Yes make sure she is safe in school.

Original poster
Angryandupset12345 · 11/06/2019 19:03

Sorry, cross posted with quite a few people.

The school has done what's expected of it so far in telling us, I just want to ensure it continues to do what is necessary to protect my child and others, including th little boy, so it is good to have a mental list in my head tomorrow, i.e. about notifying the safeguarding officer, ensuring the children are split up etc.

OP posts:
AhhhHereItGoes · 11/06/2019 19:05

I'm sorry your DD has this happen. It's a testament to your parenting that she felt secure enough to tell her teacher.

I echo speaking to the NSPCC who should be able to give you more specific advice.

I feel sorry for the boy as it seems likely that he has been exposed to something inappropriate somewhere.

If you feel it was sufficiently serious I'd report to SS. I would not tell other parents as it may alarm them and they will become suspicious of each other's children.

benfoldsfive · 11/06/2019 19:10

Sounds like the school have it all in hand then......

Original poster
Angryandupset12345 · 11/06/2019 19:15

Thanks for the helpful advice, think I feel a bit more prepared for tomorrow now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Angryandupset12345 · 11/06/2019 19:15

And yes, wil give the NSPCC a ring too.

OP posts:
Passtherioja · 11/06/2019 19:22

The vast majority of head teachers will pick up their work emails after school -email and ask for an appointment.

littlepeaegg · 11/06/2019 19:50

Not that this is the same OP, but we have had similar.

My DS was in year 1, and befriended another little boy. Got to know mum a little bit through school runs and exchanged numbers for a play date.

Well the week it was meant to happen, my DS told me that his friend was going to show him how they 'suck willies.'

I was absolutely mortified. Praised DS so much, I've always been open with him, I really want him to know he can tell me anything.

Obviously I went into school the next morning and the mum was called in for a meeting etc. Apparently his older sisters showed them this animation video on YouTube, which was totally inappropriate....

But to this day I still think something untoward was going on.

DS moved to a private school so not sure if anything happened.