More able child - education psychologist and school help

[Amumhere]

Hello everyone,
I am seeking advice for our child who will be four next month. She will start reception in September. We (as well people who know her) believe that she is of high ability.
Couple of things which indicate the same are - she spoke early (at 7 months of age), by 15 months she was bilingual and speaking in sentences. She taught herself to write before she turned three and taught herself to read couple of months after she turned three. She is nearing four now and can read a lot and very fast. She is good with numbers, can do basic addition , subtraction. She also has an amazing memory. For example she knew my phone number when she was two simply from overhearing me tell it to someone. We haven't done much. It's all been self initiated, with us providing her access to resources.

We are considering consulting a private education psychologist to understand more about her and what best we can do for her. She will most likely start reception in an outstanding state school (we are very close to it). While the school is considered very good in the area, it doesn't do much for more able children. So I think seeking help from a professional will also help us in advocating for her when needed. We are new in the country and don't really know how to go about it. Will really appreciate recommendations from your personal experience or from people you know.

Also, we are considering buying home next year (right now we are renting) and want to know if there are any schools in London which cater to high ability kids better compared to other schools? We want to shortlist areas where we can consider buying.
We have thought of independent schools but it seems like we won't be able to afford them. Unless they provide scholarships based on ability. Do some schools provide that? We don't think we will quality for bursaries based on our financial situation.

We are really confused right now. Looking to get help from parents who have been through the same.

I know it's just reception right now. But we want her to be an environment where she is understood and where she can retain her curiousity.

Thanks for your time. We really appreciate your inputs.

Word searches, crosswords, board games (monsters in the elevator - kickstarted project, carcassonne).

Building toys. Duplo. Jigsaws. I like a game called bunny boo (spatial awareness puzzle)

I found 100s, 10s and 1s cubes useful to explain beyond basics of counting. Nothing wrong with teaching if she is keen to learn. I did like 10 min a day when ds was that age.

@mummyeme, we just thought seeing an ed psych might help us understand more. Also, because I have read posts from parents who have benefited from seeing an ed psych in various ways. We are very new to this system.
I mentioned speed just because I wanted people here to get an understanding of what she is doing now. I think it helped mentioning that because couple of parents have reached out to me who had similar experience with their children. I understand how speed isn't that important. She is good with understanding stories as we have been told by her current nursery etc.

Thanks @Namenic. She loves board games. And enjoys playing carcassone 😊. She had never shown interest in puzzles but just recently got very interested.
Thanks, I am going to look at the cubes. I teach her really nothing now. And have been confused if I should.

My DD was very like yours, including worrying about others breaking rules. The teaching yourself to read and write is caller hyperlexia.

She was streets ahead of her peers in many ways but definitely behind socially and emotionally. The rules issue was a symptom of this. However school completely missed how much she was struggling and just went on about how wonderful she was every parents evening for years.

At 12, she started highschool and fell to pieces. She was then diagnosed with Asperger's. I'm told that hyperlexia is strongly linked to autism.

She's now studying a highly scientific course at university and, although she gets good marks, she is no longer that different from her more able peers.

I think most able/gifted children level out by late teenage and end up at the top end of normal.

hyperlexia is rather more specific than just early reading and it is quite a leap to assume that because your child had/has hyperlexia then the OP's does.

The OP has been clear that their DD's verbal language emerged very early and is advanced which argues against this being hyperlexia. The OP is describing a child with generalised exceptional ability - grasping reading with a modest amount of facilitation is most likely a manifestation of that, not a symptom of hyperlexia.

Similarly the sensitivity to rules/rudeness is likely because she has a keen sense of fairness and better understanding of social cues than her age peers.
A child with aspergers / HFA might be preoocupied with rules due to cognitive rigidity but would not understand the social cues.

Gifted kids don't "level out" naturally, but may be forced so if they are held back artificially by a system that is unresponsive to their needs. There is a nice article on plateauing which puts this better than I could.

"The OP has been clear that their DD's verbal language emerged very early and is advanced which argues against this being hyperlexia." My son is hyperlexic and was also a very early talker who missed out the early babbling and baby talk (he was a mini adult from around 9 months)

Hyperlexia in the specific sense of a syndrome which interferes with speech, language and social interaction, and which often arises as a splinter skill of high functioning autism, is distinct from early reading arising from generalised high ability.
So "teaching yourself to read and write is called hyperlexia" is in general false. Children with hyperlexia do teach themselves to read (in an environment loaded with phonic knowledge). But the converse is not true. Some children who teach themselves to read have hyperlexia. Others are gifted but do not have hyperlexia. Still others may be both (2e).
As discussed here "The precocious development of speech, movement and reading are powerful indicators of possible giftedness. Of course, not every child who speaks, walks or reads early is even moderately gifted, but when these skills appear at extremely early ages, and particularly when they appear in tandem, they are generally linked to unusually advanced intellectual development. "

I wouldn't agree that truly gifted children level out by teens tbh. Ds started at his workplace as a seemingly able young man from his cv but it took very little time for them to spot that he was incredibly intelligent with a vast knowledge spanning many areas. He's jokingly referred to as "Brains" by his work colleagues (after the thunderbirds puppet) which follows years at school being called "Dexter, boy genius" Thankfully he's not at all socially awkward and embraces the teasing with good humour.

It's possible to be gifted and have SEN

Being able to read and write early by itself cannot lead someone to be described as having hyperlexia as other posters have mentioned. Hyperlexia has other characteristics and behaviour traits that accompany it.

Hyperlexia also isn't always linked to autism. You can have hyperlexia and have no SEN and not be on the spectrum in anyway.

There really isn't anything the OP has posted that would suggest her daughter has an SEN or isn't neurotypical.

@Goldmandra, I just looked at the link shared by @extrastrongmints, and she doesn't display any of the other characteristics mentioned to indicate that she might have hyperlexia.
She has been very advanced verbally since a very young age. So much that when we moved country, she was still considered way advanced by her nursery. She is also very social and loves being around kids of all age groups.
@Norestformerz, our daughter did babble a lot, just way before other kids. Also, when she started saying few words clearly at 7 months, she continued to babble the rest. She was speaking in sentences by 14 months though.
Also as @extrastrongmints suggested she has a very high sense of justice from a very young age. She calls herself an activist.

It's possible to be gifted and have SEN
Indeed - that's why I wrote "others may be both (2e)".
But I see no evidence of SEN in what the OP has written and I think it would be premature and probably a mistake to pathologise behaviour that is normal for a very high ability child.

I've not suggested the OPs child has SEN just pointing out that can be a very early talker and hyperlexic

"Also, when she started saying few words clearly at 7 months," my son spoke in short sentences of phrases rather than a few words which I put down to spending a great deal of his days with his grandparents and great aunt and uncle.

My ds1 was similarly ahead at a young age. For him it quickly became apparent that school was not a suitable environment. They simply couldn't cope with his ability at such an age, the head teacher freely admitted this. So he has been home schooled ever since with the support of tutors where necessary
He has been assessed and his IQ is right at the top 0.5% of the population. For him learning is fun, he's taking his GCSE s at 11 with the support of a tutor at Cambridge. He reads and consumes information at a speed I can barely comprehend, he's just always been that way.
He's also sociable, happy and has many friends, who affectionately call him prof.
I chose not to explore the option of private schools etc as I wanted him to have the freedom to just be a child without test pressure and not to be 'pushed' into academia if that wasn't something he wanted etc.
I can't say if your dd is ahead in this way or 'just' ahead right now but I think getting as many 'facts' as you can can never hurt. That way if she does need more support etc you will be in a better position to advocate for her.

The description the OP has given of her DD described my DD exactly except for being bilingual.
How she chooses to interpret the experience I shared is entirely up to her.

Because you’ve posted on a thread people are going to give you a wide range of opinions and so far people are giving you good constructive advice.

If your daughter is happy at pre school and enjoys all the activities then just do what you’re doing and take her to the library and a wide range of other experiences.

Be wary though because from what you’ve said it sounds like she is a normal delightful bog standard average bright 4 year old.

There is more to reading than just reading the words.

Lots of 4 year old kids can do simple arithmetic.

Speaking early and in sentences is developmental not intelligence based and being bilingual, I assume either you, husband or both of you speak another language.

Good memory again (remembering phone number not particularly indicative of whether she is very able or not. She remembered it because you had just said it.

If you can afford a private educational physchologist but be aware the chances are they will tell you the same as they told me that 99% of children are just bog standard average and will have strengths and weaknesses. (I had to see an educational psychologist do to my son’s development when he was 7).

Let her start school and enjoy it if she shows signs of high ability and she isn’t being challenged enough then reasses the situation.

Thanks @mama1980 for sharing your experience. I am so glad that it worked out well for your child.

Thanks @maldives2006. I understand that.

It's just that from all the resources I have read, good memory (isn't it always recalling something what had happened earlier?) when combined with all the other traits she shows can be indicative of a more able child (as also told by the three nurseries she has attended in the past 2 years. We moved that's why the number of nurseries.). So I just wanted to understand from other parents who have been into similar situation before. And I am really happy that I have got a lot of really good advice here both via posts and messages. I am grateful for that.

Why does anyone want to IQ test a 3 year old? Most Ed Psychs will run a mile.

What do you think and Ed Psych will do for your daughter? You already know she’s advanced for her age. My eldest is advanced for her age (10) with language/reading and comprehension etc but others are starting to catch up now in other areas. She’s still top of her class but I suspect in topics of less interest that won’t continue.

My biggest concern for my child is the social aspect. She’s a very sociable child but being precocious (more mature and not necessarily in a good way)) does not endear her to her peers and as a result, despite her being extremely friendly and sociable and likeable, she doesn’t have many friends in school and is often bullied. This wasn’t the case at nursery or in the early years of primary school but now she stands out as being different.

OP if I were you, i’d concentrate on the social aspects and letting your child be a 4 year old and let academia take care of itself. It’s heartbreaking seeing my lovely child be so lonely and I almost wish she was absolutely average academically but with friends.

@blue25, I am very new to this and the entire system as well. I read on couple of threads that seeing one helped them understand their child's needs better and also helped advocate for their child. Hence the question.

Personally I found the IQ results unhelpful as they didn't explain why my son found some things extremely easy and other things impossible. the professionals working with him were so hung up on the fact that he had an extremely high IQ and reading age that they refused to consider that there might be other issues.

I don’t think an ed psych would be required unless she displays signs of being unhappy in lessons - but I don’t know because I homeschool. If she is happy in class, let her be. She may enjoy the participatory and social aspects.

If she is bored and unhappy, try asking teacher if she can have some more stimulating stuff (either provided by you - eg book to read, few puzzles) if she finishes work early. If she is still unhappy then I would say ed psych might be helpful?

Don’t feel afraid to teach her. Teaching her can open new areas of interest. I keep teaching to minimal amounts (like 15mins in morning for 5 year old) and talk ad hoc about things ds is interested in (eg why sunlight makes a rainbow pattern on floor - google helps). Teaching things like cooking can also be interesting as it involves observing ingredients changing when heat applied (essentially chemistry) and ratios of ingredients can be learnt... also a life skill they don’t really teach at school.

Ps I can cook is a cool program on iPlayer for recipes for kids