Bright child struggling at school

[Randommother]

Hi, been lurking for a while, but this is my first post. I'm after some guidance is anyone can help..

DS (8) is a bright kid, but he's struggling at school. He's been struggling ever since he started. He didn't settle well in reception, and cried every morning (this went on til yr 3). In yr 1 I was told his reading was below expected standard, in yr 2 his teacher regularly kept him in at break time to finish work, and in her words he was easily distracted and didn't try hard enough. I couldn't get him to do homework at home either as he would get too worked up and upset. In yr 3 he was falling further behind so I got a tutor in to help with homework, and we discussed (and dismissed) dyslexia with the school. He's now in yr 4 and the problem is getting worse. He's bright, when you talk to him he's really switched on and has a great vocabulary, but he just can't seem to apply himself in a school environment.

At our last parents evening his teacher said she was very concerned with his lack of effort so we had a separate meeting to discuss in depth what to do next. The school are finally agreeing with me that there is an issue, but we don't know what it is, having already ruled out dyslexia. They don't have any support they can give, and I'm really not sure what to do next! I've taken him to the doctor to see if we can get a referal to have him assessed (I'm not sure what for, I just need someone to tell me what's wrong and how to support him) I'm waiting to hear back from this. Today his teacher spoke to me in the playground to say that his music teacher (he has a separate guitar lesson once a week) has also raised concerns about his lack of concentration and lack of effort.

I really don't know what to do here, has anyone been through similar and have any suggestions on how I can help him?

Are you able to find a private educational psychologist to assess your son or contact local dyslexia assessors? It is costly but may give you some answers

I'm happy to pay for a private assessment, just not sure where to start which is why I took him to the docs.

Who ruled out dyslexia and why? Did he have a screening test administered? Bright children are very good at coping/ masking. Perhaps he may have dyspraxia. You need to find an Educational Psychologist and have a chat with them prior to assessment.

What is the school suggesting?

Probably a long shot but what’s his activity level on average and how long does he sleep? Assuming he has balanced nutritious diet, these are two basic things I would also rule out first/while trying to find other causes. We experienced a phase with concentration issues but at younger age and not consistently. I took DS to the local farm after school most days a week to tire him out and he slept longer. Concentration level and mood etc got obviously better.

May not apply but thought I’d share.

Yes Educational Psychologist is what I would recommend. He needs to be observed in class, push for it with the school.

You also need to look at things holistically ( I hate that word but can't think of anything else). Does he sleep well? For long enough? How is his eating? How is he socially - does he have friends? Is he on his own at school?

Going back to basics - does he do any sports? Social activities? any interests? How many hours of TV or computer games does he get at home?

Finally, did he reach all milestones as a baby/toddler? Sitting up, walking, talking? If he applies himself to something he likes, can he concentrate (on a toy/game other than something with a screen)?

Sorry thaey are not questions I am asking you to answer here, but to ask yourself!! sorry if that wasn't clear.

Thanks. He's a good sleeper, and has a balanced diet so I don't think that's the issue. Any idea how go about getting a private assessment? I've googled educational psychologists but I'm not sure what I'm looking for (is there a professional body/ accreditation I should look for?). The school have agreed that he needs an assessment, but the onus seems to be on me to sort it out. It's really frustrating as I feel like it's taken a while for them to agree there's a problem and it's not just him being difficult, but I really don't know what I need to do or who I need to talk to...

Would you be able to ask for a meeting with the SENDCO to discuss how the referral would work? he/she might be able to recommend someone or push for the school to book one, but the waiting lists are long.

I'd suggest you write down everything and keep a file of meetings, discussions, notes, comments etc. along with your son's school reports. Have you already spoken to your GP? You could ask for a few things - first a hearing test, this is important, if his hearing is affected for some reason, his learning can be affected quite badly. Book him for an eye test as well.

You could try posting on the SEN board here, they might be more helpful.

I guesss you could try board games etc to increase attention span?
Is he impulsive or inattentive?
One of the youngest in year so his struggles blamed on that?
I think the curriculum is quite fast paced especially in a class of 30, if they start getting behind i can see their attention would be even worse.
Ds struggles with attention. It is particularly with maths as that is a weekness and requires more concentration.

How is he doing socially at school? Does he now feel relaxed and confident there? If things are not going well on that front he may be too anxious to focus calmly on his work

Have you looked at ADHD. My Ds is diagnosed at it but inattentive is a big problem . School got harder as he went through school as the demands increased.

He does not fit the stereotype for adhd I fact fits the girl list more than the boys

Sounds a bit like my DS1. I thought he was so bright and articulate yet he was just completely average st school. Poor at separating from me in Foundation. Teachers continually said his work did not reflect his ability.
He failed to make any progress in Yr3 and teacher thought some sort of 'learning block'. SENCO was involved. She thought some kind of aural processing difficulty and we put some strategies in place at home and in the classroom.... Didn't seem to make any difference. He was referred to NHS but A(D)HD ruled out.
Eventually paid hundreds for Ed psych report which told us little. He was well above average in many areas and nothing less than average in anything. Inconclusive. Well not even inconclusive- no problems identified!
Hideous family time meant he developed serious anxiety requiring CAMHS treatment . I think anxiety was possibly at the root of it all along- just a generally anxious personality before the family crisis. He was never relaxed enough to learn, on edge , on high alert.
Anyway- recommend you get your DC's ears tested and sight tested. And get on to your Senco- it's their field of expertise so they should have advice and contacts.

I would suggest looking into inattentive ADHD see e.g.
link1
link2
If it's pure inattentive subtype, it can present very differently to what people think of as an ADHD child (not bouncing of the walls, just quietly struggling). Diagnosis can therefore easily be missed. Also the brighter they are, the longer they can compensate for it, so very often bright kids are diagnosed later, or not at all.
also FWIW:
1)if that's what it is, it's primarily a clinical issue, not an educational one, so I'd suggest seeing a clinical psychologist, child psychiatrist or paediatrician. The tests used by most ed psychs are not specific enough.
2) It often goes hand in hand with anxiety and other issues - they're not mutually exclusive.
3) making him work through break/lunch "to catch up" is likely to be hugely counterproductive, see e.g. this article.

Thanks everyone for all the info, it's really useful. I've just read through the inattentive adhd article as it describes him (and me....) perfectly! The problem is I have a sample size of 1 to figure out what's considered normal behaviour, is it normal to cry going into school in year 2?, to have a complete meltdown at the mention of homework?, to not eat properly with a knife and fork at 8 years old?, to stare out of the window when someone is trying to talk to you?...

When I had the meeting with his school they said they used to have use of an educational psychologist to help with cases like this, but don't anymore, which is why it's up to me to sort out and probably why it's taken so long to recognise that things aren't right. I still feel a bit at sea with it all, but (when I've figured out how) I will get a proper assessment for him, so we can work out what support he needs.

I feel like I've focused on his issues a lot, but he really is a very bright, loving, caring boy, he's just really struggling to fit into and achieve anything in the school environment.

Try the patoss website for an EdPsych . Have you had his vision and hearing checked? Does he fidget or appear less coordinated than his peers? Is it that he finds it difficult to work out where to start and what is required or that he starts and gets distracted easily? Sensitivity to noise, textures, light? How is he socially, one to one and in groups?

Have you had his hearing and eye sight checked?

From my DS’s experience with an Educational Psychologist, they don’t have the ‘power’ to make a diagnosis. What they do is provide strategies for the school to work with the child (e.g fidget toys, now/next tools etc). It’s the psychologists/psychiatrists at CAMHS who perform diagnostic tests and provide therapy (if required). We’re still at the ‘diagnosis’ assessment stage with CAMHS.

If school is so difficult for him (and it sounds upsetting for you both) would homeschooling be an option, even just while you are waiting for an assessment? It might give you an opportunity to work on strategies together and you can make contact with other homeschoolers for social activities. Of course it may not be possible or you may think it more important that he continues at school as normal

I wouldn't homeschool at this stage ( or anytime actually, that's just my personal preference). It may appear to remove the problem but you may just be avoiding it which may just hide his symptoms deeper.... You need to identify the reasons for his behaviour and address them, not just avoid 'normal' situations because he finds them difficult.
This is a time when being in the education system is a help. Use its resources and experts- the teacher, the SENCo, the LEA- tho who knows who is supposed to help in an academy trust...

He's only had the eye and hearing scans they do in reception and they were fine. I will get them done again though, so thanks for the suggestion there.

For the suggestion of playing board games.. he doesn't like them, he never has. He always tries to make up his own rules, but even if we go along with that (which I don't like doing as it can't always be on his terms) he won't stay the duration. That said, things he enjoys like building marble runs he will sit and do for hours.

Homeschooling isn't an option for us, we both work full time.

Thanks x

Ds1 bought me to my knees. Or maybe the process/journey did? Or both!
He was always difficult. School refused to accept anything and when I eventually got an AS diagnosis, through demanding GP sent us to see Paed at hospital and also CAMHS.

I was denied and refused by every single person, at every single stage.

School refused to accept it. I wasn't sure either! Tbh! But I knew he had 'huge theory of mind issues' and the EP said his profile was incredibly spiky: nothing in one area, but off the Richter scale in others. Nothing at school ever changed. No support. NAS woman was my favourite, she wrote to school with suggestions. Still nothing.

He's still hard work. But he's doing GCSE's, tonnes of friends, really happy.

You have to push, from every angle, in order to get anywhere. Organised and systematic in your approach. And refuse to take no for an answer.

Test his hearing and eyesight, ensure he's given a good balanced diet, gets plenty of sleep and exercise for an hour a day minimum, read to him before bed and get him to do his homework with no tv/music in a communal area at a set time. Beyond that try not to worry, they do learn at different paces and some very articulate kids speaking aren't great book learners and vice versa. Not everyone is top of the class. Do make an appointment with the senco at school so you are on the same page but primary teachers are pretty good at identifying dyslexia, adhd etc in my experience, so obviously if they are concerned pursue it but paying privately when they aren't suggesting there's an issue isn't likely to get answers. Not everyone is top of the class.

Certainly the dyslexia, reading mn threads some schools will not pursue a diagnosis as it costs them money! And they think they can just make the adjustments.

I’d def want to rule out glue ear