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Primary education

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Original poster

Violent classmates; do parent have a right to know?

47 replies

Mummywales · 14/03/2019 14:22

Mummywales

Do parents have a right to know if our children are taught in a class with children with serious anger issues?
My daughter who is 7 has been in school with an angry boy since she began school. Ive been told he has anger management issues and is being managed. (Clear throat). He shouts /screams at her and other members of class when all are quiet working . Saying shes being naughty (she isnt) chewing (she isnt) she is wrong, uses rude words etc. This has got worse over the years. Last week he grabbed her arma behind her back and pushed her against the wall. This was because he wanted to be in front of her in line. The school have done little. They have moved him around the classroom. Sharing the anger around a little i guess. They have given him the 1st place in line so as far as im concerned they have validated his physical treatment of my daughter and justified his anger by saying he is angry with every1 not just her. He is 8. Shes 7 and the youngest in the year. The older he gets the worse the problem seems to be getting. He bangs his fists against the desk and starts shouting for no reason. He hurts his own fingers by breaking pencils. He has no 1 to 1. The teacher or teaching assistant is not near him. I feel i should have been made aware earlier that this child with his issues is/was in my childs class. His outbursts make her jumpy and cannot be having a positive influence on her emotional development. Can anyone advise on this ? Do parent have a right to know their child is being subject to outbursts daily?

OP posts:
admission · 14/03/2019 14:29

The simple answer is that you do not have a right to any information about another pupil at the school and the school are certainly not going to tell you.
Your course of action is to make a formal complaint about the boy's actions against your child to the head of the school. You will not be given information about the boy but at least you can argue that the school should be doing more in terms of care for the other pupils in the class.

Yumyumbananas · 14/03/2019 18:26

No right to know from the school but you DO know from your daughter. Please complain in writing and get the school’s complaints procedure from the website or office. Usually it’s write to the head then to the governors if you are not happy with the first response. Please, please put it in writing. I am a teacher and have taught some classes with an aggressive child in them. It is very hard and complaints from parents tend to get more of a reaction than a teacher asking for additional classroom support. Note though that the system is broken and there is no money to support all of the children with additional needs so the school may know that he needs more support but have no access to funding for this.

Hollowvictory · 14/03/2019 19:10

No. But you do have a right to complain and ask them to take serious and immediate action to protect your daughter.

QuietlyQuaffing · 14/03/2019 21:57

As PPs have said, no, but your daughter has rights to feel safe in school. Take this straight to school, framed in terms of your daughter. How the other child is handled, what his needs and support are is none of your business, but any impact on your daughter is and additional needs are not a justification for children to feel scared or intimated, or to get hurt at school.

Friedspamfritters · 14/03/2019 22:35

The issue isn't that you weren't told of his anger issues (of course you don't have a right to that information about a child which isn't yours) but that the issue isn't being managed in a way that keeps the other children safe and secure at school.

VelvetPineapple · 14/03/2019 22:45

Basically the boy is not receiving sufficient support and I doubt the school can afford it otherwise he’d be getting it. I’d remove my child from the school for her own well-being. It’s easier than fighting for this boy to be properly supported.

Original poster
Mummywales · 14/03/2019 22:48

Its not a major point of safeguarding prevention? In addition the teachers have told me along with my daughter he has anger issues. However in trusting them to care for her I'm not expecting them to put her in a class with an aggressive child. Am I asking too much? I wouldn't take anyone's child and put them in an such an intimidating environment. Surely its violating their human rights?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummywales · 14/03/2019 22:50

They told me after his outbursts and perhaps wrongly about what they have in place. 30 mins positive play a week.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummywales · 14/03/2019 22:52

Although moved he told her today she has better watch herself in the playground and stared at her across the class. What a drama!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummywales · 14/03/2019 22:54

I am not removing her from the school as they need to either address it or remove him. The safety of the majority should prevail

OP posts:
scissorsandpen · 14/03/2019 22:55

We had experience of this in primary school didn’t appear to be well managed but not sure what was going on in the background. Seems parents were trying to address and access help .it want till a diagnosis of autism in high school that help was Put in place.

CookieDoughKid · 14/03/2019 22:56

I am sure the school is well aware of his needs. If there was support and by that I mean funding available, more support could be found. My good friend is a teacher at a large secondary boys school where in her year at least 35% have some kind of special or extra needs. Schools now have an inclusion policy and will do everything they can to keep this boy in your class. If it was me, I'd take my child out and move to another school as these are valuable years.

LOTR · 14/03/2019 22:59

I agree with your comment about the majority however if it is seen as 'low level' and not full scale assault on pupils and staff then he will not be excluded. There will probably be background you are not entitled to know e.g. LAC or Child in Need which means somehow the school just have to continue the needs of all. And with no funding they are probably of the situation but unable to do much about it.

Sorry.

LOTR · 14/03/2019 23:01

*somehow the school just have to continue to juggle the needs of all. And with no funding they are probably completely aware of the situation but unable to do much about it.

nos123 · 14/03/2019 23:01

And people wonder why girls get put off education...

VelvetPineapple · 14/03/2019 23:06

The safety of the majority should prevail

But it won’t. They will keep this kid in class to the detriment of everyone else because he’s legally required to have an education and there’s probably nowhere else they can send him. They don’t have the money to put support in place and they can’t expel him. The only way to get your child away from him is to remove her.

QuietlyQuaffing · 14/03/2019 23:09

I'm confused. You say you want the right to know she's been put in a class with this boy but also that they have already told you about his issues.

Your child has a right to be, and to feel, safe and secure in school. How that is achieved - whether this boy gets more supervision or support or is removed, or any other solution - is their call to make and their responsibility to enact. Keep reporting the problems your daughter is having and escalate it if that doesn't help. No one is saying she should just put up with it.

EffYouSeeKaye · 15/03/2019 06:18

To meet the needs of this child properly would incur an enormous expense to the school. Thousands. It sounds as though they need 1:1 support and an extra midday assistant to cover lunchtimes. So upwards of £15k per year.

There’s no money.

The school have put in place measures which match their budget. It’s not enough, of course it isn’t. They know this and you know it too. But what can they do?

You can keep her there on principle, or you can move her. There will be no guarantee that she won’t have another child with behavioural difficulties in her new school, though.

They have moved him to the front of the line so that he is right under the nose of the adult leading him into school, btw. Not to ‘validate’ his behaviour.

slipperywhensparticus · 15/03/2019 06:26

I have a child with educational needs they literally cannot do anything without many many reports and many many meetings they are just now he is six working on getting him 1-1 support (hopefully) he is 6 this is not to say that nothing has been done earlier it's just they are constrained by the process they had to wait to see if he "matured" out of it all my other son is 10 it's taken me years to get his assessment in place now a third party has looked at him she is worried and he will now be moving forward in the system

Both should have been looked at earlier but the system sucks

TemporaryPermanent · 15/03/2019 07:04

Your child should be safe in school and is not. That's the focus. Go and see the teacher urgently, then escalate as needed to the head teacher/governers/ofsted. with one message- my daughter is not safe in school. keep fighting. Leave the other child out of it except in describing what your daughter is experiencing.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/03/2019 07:09

Schools tend to use children like your DC as punching bags because they don't have the resources to support children like this. It's wrong, children's needs should be met by adults not other children but the school has to comply with an inclusion policy.

It's not new, it happened to me 20 years ago

Babygrey7 · 15/03/2019 07:11

I had the same, and no the child won't be moved

DS at 8 then got randomly punched in the face when he was having lunch one day

The school said they were investigating the "fight". A shocked dinner lady had the kindness to break the rules to tell me what really happened and that this child was unprovoked and just punched DS so hard he was knocked over and unable to speak (he was in shock)

The HT just said we had to understand the poor boy was from a difficult home.

We ended up moving him from school, tbh, as the violence got so bad DS was really affected.

Sad but true

Schools can't do anything, as state schools are meant to include everyone.

I mean, where could that boy have gone? He needs education too

Still, we moved our DS as something had to be done

SwimmingJustKeepSwimming · 15/03/2019 07:27

I think this is easily becoming the case in most schools around me. More than 1 per class in my daughters case. And increasingly so as the funding is cut.

It really should be a national uproar - teachers have been talking about funding and inability to do their job for years.... yet get ignored or told their job is easy.

Noone wins . The poor child kicking off isnt supported, the rest of the class isnt and the teacher just firefights.

grasspigeons · 15/03/2019 07:42

School funding is dire and this is 100% the result. There is lots that could be done to support the agressive child that won't happen.

cassgate · 15/03/2019 08:09

I am a ta and this is a problem for lots of schools. No funding but expected to be inclusive for all. In reality this means that 1 child disrupts the learning of the other 29 in the class. In some classes there may even be more than 1 child like this. As others have said write to the school and express your concerns at the impact the situation is having on your child’s physical and emotional well being. If things do not change for your child on the back of the complaint then escalate to the governors. If you end up moving schools then make sure you write to the school and to the local authority to tell them why. You will find that teachers and ta’s will be secretly cheering you on whilst putting on the game face.