School prayer - issue or not?

[GooseyLoosey]

Sorry, this is a bit of a rant.

Ds is due to start the village primary school in September. It is a Cof E school but wholly financed by the local authority. There is no other state primary school for many miles and the 2 others that are nearest are also C of E.

I have just discovered that the school has a prayer which they require all children (including reception children) to say each day. They also wish me as a parent to sign a "parent/school contract" saying that I will support the christian ethos of the school.

I am an atheist. Ds has no concept of God or prayer. Whilst I am happy to allow him to make up his own mind about these things and do not criticise other people's beliefs in front of him, I have a problem with this. IMO at 4 he is too young to be able to make up his mind about anything and having God presented to him as a fact of life on a daily basis shows a lack of respect to our family values. I do not want him to be praying on a daily basis until he is old enough to understand the concept of prayer and accept or reject it on his own account.

I do not want to take him out of the local school as I feel that it is important that he is educated within the community in which he lives, in addition, there really are no alternatives.

Do you think that I should say anything about this? I do not want to be labelled on day 1 as the difficult mother from hell or to make ds stand out from his peers but this really does cut across issues which dh and I have strongly held and considered views on.

Yurtgirl, I applaud your committment to getting the right education for your children. However, it is "right" that the welsh language should only be taught in welsh schools. It is not right that Christianity should be presented as fact in a state funded community primary school.

NKF - I have made a considered decision about my child's education. I live in a small community where my son has many friends and I want him to grow up being part of that community and surrounded by people he knows.

When I raised questions about religion early on it was all played down and only now has it become apparent that the school is at the more active end of the religious spectrum.

I strongly feel that I should not have to make a choice between sending my child to a community school and giving them a secular education. If the religious ethos of the school is something I feel I cannot tolerate (and I am still thinking about this), the choice for me is to try and bring about change not to take my children out of the community into which they were born.

Well, exactly. That is your choice. I hope you find a solution that works.

do you know of other parents who feel the same way- it would be easier if you weren't doing this alone?

I would be careful how you go about it...there may be parents who feel, equally strongly that a C of E school should have a religious ethos, and may have chosen that school (and been prepared to travel)because of it. By starting a "crusade" (probably the wrong word to choose)you risk upsetting some of the parents of kids your son might come into contact with- risking his exclusion from party invitations, playdayes, etc.

Is there a "middle way"- to be found? What is the minimum you would find acceptable?

Oh, Marina - I have no doubt that the sensibilities of those you describe will lose me as many votes as from anyone else! But you know I like to be fair about these things ! I have no wish to be punitive to any one group of parents over another - all do what they can within the system as it stands - and why shouldn't they?

NKF - thanks.

Tissy - For the reasons you give I am very reluctant to raise this at a local and school specific level. I think to the extent that I decide to do anything it will have to be at a more general level.

Goosey Loosey - Is it really such a problem though?

What harm can a prayer each day really do?
You can always counteract anything you disagree with by teaching him your perspective on religion (or lack of it) at home.

If it is in all other respects a very good school - I dont really see the problem

IME there will always be something that the school does which annoys you/makes you feel uncomfortable

Ah, but it's god, it's faith, it's beyond criticism.

I wonder how people would react if their school made their children offer up a daily incantation to any other thing they had no belief in and which had no relevance to their daily lives. Like fairies or unicorns. Or Apollo.

I pledge allegiance....

Yurtgirl, you are probably right that in reality it will make little difference to ds one way or another. I just object to the religious indoctrination of a 4 year old by the state. I know I can counter anything that the school says to him, but as Blu said it is not the ideal position to be in as I do not want to generally undermine the school.

There is little active resistance to prayer in C of E schools because it seems "normal". We are used to it - probably had a lot more of it, plus hymns, when we were at school ourselves. Doesn't mean it's right. Take a step back and you realise how weird it is.

The argument which always raises its head with state faith schools (and I'm pre-empting it here) is "oh, but the church owns the building." Well, even if it does, that means nothing. Does the church pay for the building's upkeep? The gardening? The caretaker's wages? In fact, I'd guess that pretty much everything, from the smallest pencil up to the head's salary, is paid through the Local Authority, which means taxation, which means us.

Goosey - good luck with your campaign. You will find lots of people who agree with you. I think you have a good argument to put forward.

Thanks Hathor and everyone else.

I complained to dd's school. She was coming home singing hymns. It is a community school. I didn't think it was appropriate. Since then she hasn't sung any so either they have stopped teaching them hymns in singing practice or she has learnt not to sing them at home