Positive experiences of summer-born starting school

[Newoneagain]

I’ve recently started to feel quite panicky at the thought of my August-born DS starting school next year when he’ll just have turned 4.

I know there are options to explore for starting reception later or even applying to join the following year but I’m so confused about what to do.

Part of me feels like he’d be ok because as a 2.5 year old he seems very bright and confident, thrives at nursery and activities, talks very well etc. However he’d be close to a whole year younger than other kids and I feel so guilty and sad thinking that he might struggle and constantly feel inferior compared to others who are more able due to being older.

On the other hand I hear of several sept-borns being bored and complacent as they’re older than most of their peers so if we were able to hold him back a year it might not be good for him anyway.

Does anyone have any experiences they can share? Anecdotally my DH and I are both summer-born and never struggled particularly. I didn’t even realise this was an issue until reading about it on parenting forums and seen that there’s a whole load of research into how disadvantaged summer-Borns are.

Please stop worrying, holding off starting school just doesn't work, your ds will simply miss F2 and skip straight to year 1 therefore missing such a fundamentally important year of school

That’s not true. You are now able to defer summer borns and they will enter reception the following year.

They will not miss a year. You can request to start at reception. OP there is so much false and conflicting info around - please join the Facebook group.

I’m surprised you don’t know that though!

People that are delaying school, you do realise they will go straight to Year 1, not start reception/foundation a year late? I've seen it happen and it is awful for the child, they miss out on the very informal but important teaching in foundation and most importantly friendships are already established etc So unnecessarily stressful for them

People that are delaying school, you do realise they will go straight to Year 1

No they won’t. Please don’t post without checking your facts.

My DD is a summer baby (mid August) and has never struggled at school. She is one of the youngest in her class but you’d never know that she is almost a year younger than some of her friends. She is now in year 9 and gets excellent school reports and is on top sets for most of her subjects. It really isn’t anything to worry about (in my experience!)

I started school in the January and only turned four the week before Xmas. So I was 4 months younger than the other youngsters born in August in our year group.

I don't really know why it was done, I'd just come back from living abroad and I think my parents just assumed everyone started the term after their 4th birthday...I honestly was fine- I did really well at school and it never made the slightest difference. I know it's an unusual situation but rest assured if anything it was a positive experience for me and hopefully it will be for your DS too.

Don't overthink it, it'll be absolutely fine.

Op if he seems ok/ahead at 2.5 and in nursery then he’ll probably be fine. One of my DS’s is like this and will be 4 at the end of April. I’d say he’s been ready for school since 3.5 and I wish I could send him now!

Doesn't happen at my school. I've seen so many children struggle with it over the years.
I have a summer born boy in my class this year, he's a lucky chap, lovely lifestyle, lots of lovely life experiences already, a home full of books etc Compare him to my September born boy who's mum is in a bedsit, he's never been out of the city, she struggles to feed/cloth him.
Guess which boy is struggling with phonics, numeracy etc?

newyearnewwhat the policy varies between LEA’s but everyone has the right to request that their summer born starts in reception the following year. Please read up on it, as an early years nursery nurse you really should know this so that you’re not giving people incorrect information.

@SoyDora absolutely not what happens in my area.
And I whole heartedly agree that overthinking is to blame. I wish the well meaning parents that stress over this type of thing, would recognise what really constitutes as a problem when starting school!

As a school we have always strongly advised parents against doing it, mostly due to how unnecessary it is. Many parents have taken our advice and many also return to thank us for our guidance!

DS is July and tbh he did struggle academically for Reception and into Yr1 but then something clicked and he's flying now in YR2.

He's always LOVED school regardless of how he's doing though so that's helped enormously.

After an initial wobble when he just wasn't getting phonics / blending AT ALL I backed right off, just did fun bedtime stories until mid to end YR1 when he could happily blend the crappy school books, then we started again with daily reading.

I feel he's now where he should be - hasn't been disadvantaged at all - just took a bit longer than the older ones to get there

He will be fine. My DS was a December baby, and will be starting school this September at 4 and 3/4. Last year I was massively relieved he would have another year of nursery, but by the time his 4th birthday came around it was clear he is outgrowing nursery and is ready for school already.

Your DS will seem younger than the oldest children in his class, but I think keeping him back would be a mistake, unless he has delays etc.

newyearnewwhat you told the people on this thread that if they defer, their child will go straight into year 1, which is factually incorrect.
I know at least 6 people from various parts of the country who have agreement for their child to defer and start reception a year later.
I am not planning to defer my summer born so I don’t need convincing, I’m just saying that it’s better to have the facts before telling people incorrect information apparently from your position of expertise.

I regret not waiting a year.
While DD sails academically, she compares herself to the oldest in the class (who is 18months older than her) so it knocks her confidence.
I’m dreading the social differences too when it comes to boys, drinking etc.

It’s been my one major parenting fail.

My summer born was actually three months premature and spent the first four months of her life in intensive care. She wasn’t due until the end of October.

I didn’t delay her as it wasn’t done as much 8 years ago.

She absolutely thrives on learning at school. Passed the 11 plus without tuition.

She was very immature emotionally compared to her peers until about Yr 5 but would definitely have been bored if I had delayed her starting school.

My son will start school this September a few days after his 5th birthday. He will start in reception. We knew he wouldn’t be ready to start school a few days after his 4th birthday so we got permission from our local authority to delay his start by a year. They have agreed that he can stay with his adopted cohort when he goes to secondary too, so he will start a few days after turning 13.

Every child is different, some will be fine starting at just turned 4, others will not. There are some people who seem to have a downer on people doing what they feel is right for their own child, I have no idea why.

Personally I was a summer born too and I flew academically, but I knew this would not be the case for my son. I was also concerned about his social and emotional development. It’s been the best decision we’ve ever made, he has developed so much this year and I’m looking forward to him starting school in September (even though I still think 5 is too young, I’d much rather formal schooling began later, but I don’t have the luxury of that choice).

There is a Facebook group called Flexible School Admissions for Summerborns if you want some advice from that side of things too. But only you know your child, don’t make decisions on the basis of what strangers on the internet say!

In England, parents can request a start at 5yo in reception for children born apr-dec. Schools/la/academy trusts can say no though.
However children could start later in reception, jan or apr without needing to ask.
Poverty isnt going to be the only or most important factor. SEN like adhd or asd or dyslexia will im sure make more difference.
Parents know the kids best and aee the ones who deal with stressed, school resistant children who need extra help with reading, maths or writing just because they are youngest. (Not all parents have the time energy etc,)
More summer borns are diagnosed adhd so what are we doing to their MH?

I can only speak from experience but in my area you absolutely cannot delay and join foundation a year late. So I'm 'factually correct' when talking about my own school!
I honestly despair, sen aside, it is almost comical that 100% of the parents that approach us about this subject are middle class and compared to most, very privileged.
Summer born or not, their dc will quickly become the most able in the class, thanks to the support they get at home and the life they have.
If you can find me a struggling, working class parent who's desperate to delay school for their summer born dc, well quite frankly I'll eat my hat!

So I'm 'factually correct' when talking about my own school!

Then that’s fine, as long as when you tell people their child will start in year 1 you’re clear that you’re only talking about your area.

newyear admissions authorities are not allowed to have a blanket policy, they have to consider each request on its own. So if at you school you “absolutely cannot” delay and join Reception, then the admissions authority is in breach of the admissions code.

And on the Facebook group full of parents who are trying to delay their dummerborn children’s start, there are people from all backgrounds. Not just middle class/affluent.

What I'm trying to get across is that people really shouldn't worry.
You seem to be focusing on one thing I've said and totally disregarding my clear explanation of why it's not necessary to delay school.
I'm guessing you fit my description perfectly? My goodness if you could see the disadvantages some of my class face, many of whom are autumn born, then you may view things differently.
My top reader? A summer born. The child who helps all the others when we do phonics or numeracy? A child who turned 4 at the end of August.

I have never encountered a parent who isn't middle class/privileged trying to delay school.
I've worked in foundation for over 20 years.

As I said newyearnewwhat, I am not planning to defer my summer born. So no I don’t fit your description. I just didn’t want people reading this thread to see a foundation stage nursery nurse saying ‘your child will join year 1’ and believe that to be true.