worrying again about my non-writing, non-drawing reception aged child!

[HonoriaGlossop]

I have posted before about how I think my ds' school have somewhat high expectations of the reception children and that I've tried to really remain calm about what ds does this year; he's the youngest in the school, August birthday and basically, he wasn't ready for school. He managed to settle in fantastically and has done all I could have hoped for in terms of behaving absolutely beautifully and making some friends, and basically coping in the very hectic (30 kids) class environment.

So he's great.

But as he finishes reception I'm really trying to remain strong and not care about his 'output' at this stage, I don't want to be pushy or make him anxious and I want him to have his freedom when he comes out of school.

So what he DOESN'T do is:
Read at all - he can recognise maybe 5 words?
Write any letters recognisably really, even his name
Draw recognisably - he knows what he's drawing, but it would not be recognisable to anyone - he also doesn't care about how it looks - he'll put his drawing say, right down at a bottom corner of the paper so that he doesn't have room for it or it goes accross a border or something and makes no visual sense at all!

OK, so what I want to know is, and be honest, do you think he may have some sprt of problem? His teacher has said "if that's where he is, fine" in the past but I know his skills aren't keeping up - saw all the kids little 'diaries' today and ALL of them are at least writing their name very clearly. Many doing detailed drawings, neatly coloured, one even a detailed map!

So any thoughts? Should I do anything, is there anything to be done or is this normal for other 4 yr olds - it doesn't seem normal is ds class!

Thanks if you've got this far

I went to DDs chool meeting this week, she starts in Sept, and there was a sheet that the teacher sent home so the children can start learning to write letters and their names. I was surprised they didnt exspect childrent to do this already, but shows not all reception children cant write names when they go in.

Lisa

actually, I suppose I should count my blessings. He may not be keeping up with the work but I know that he can be helped with that and is very likely to get it eventually! If the problem was his behaviour or hating school as I thought he might, that would be much worse.

One of dd's playgroup teachers had a lovely idea for encouraging reading/writing etc - to make 'family' books. So if you go for a visit somewhere, take lots of digital photos, then print them out, get ds to help cut them out and stick them onto cardboard pages, and write a caption like 'We visited the farm'. 'We saw a pig'. 'The pig was pink'. etc. He can start to help with writing, and then reading it back, and it's a lovely memory of a trip too. Ds1 still gets his one from his 4th birthday out. You can get him to 'spot' his name, 'Mum' 'Dad' etc and then more complex words.

tortoise, you have hit on something there. No wonder you have clever children He has got to make a little book all about himself and his family etc, for his new teacher in Sept. I will hang all the stuff that he needs help with on this; he will want to engage with it because he really wants to please at school. (No desire to please at home) So he'll HAVE to do some stuff this summer.....good plan.

thank you. You've been really helpful.

Just wanted to say thanks everyone for all the input. Mumsnet is so great

My little boy has a December birthday and he is on an IEP for fine motor skills.

We had an open evening and my son said to me "Mummy there is no point in looking at the wall to see if my work is displayed, my work is ALWAYS bad!". There were forty pictures done by his class of 28 children and as my son predicted his work was not displayed. Virtually all the work displayed was done by winter born girls.

One thing that has helped my son's fine motor skills is gymnastics. It has helped to strengthen his upper body and it is helping his fine motor skills.

your poor boy! That's outrgeous that they wouldn't display work - ALL work should be displayed.

honestly, it makes you despair of the system sometimes. Things like that are just calculated to dent children's confidence.

That's very interesting re the gymnastics, thanks for that. Ds is a very physical boy so I wouldn't have a problem getting him to do gymnastics!

My son has been getting into lego at five and half. However last christmas when he was 5 years and 0 months, he wouldn't play with lego. We managed to strenghten his fingers a bit getting to play with Transformer, a power ranger megazoid.

We got a Dr Who pen which has invisible ink. On the other end of the pen is an ultra violet light so that you can read the secret messages.

Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver.

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3690668/Trail/C%24cip%3D49651.Toys%2Band%2Bbaby %3EC%24cip%3D49738.Action%2Bfigures%2Band%2Bplaysets%3EC%24cip%3D49741.Dr%2BWho.htm

I wouldn;t worry about the reading - my bright August born DS1 couldn't read at the end of reception and now at the end of year 1 is on ORT 8/9 (just clicked half way through the year).

Writing is more tricky - my son loves workbooks, reward with stars

Do art, cutting things out - maybe plasticine to help develop hand eye co-ordination

My DS was in reception last year (aged 5).

By the end of the year:

He couldn't read much (he could recognise his name and a few key words)
He couldn't write very well (he could copy but couldn't really write anything besides his name unaided)
His drawing was abysmal - like your DS his pictures were totally unrecognisable. Having said that, his colouring was amazing (when he felt like it).

I didn't worry too much and I was right not to:

This year, he is half way through Y1:

He is writing confidently
He is reading brilliantly (just steaming through the syllabus)
His drawing is ok - it's becoming clearer and more imaginative

I just put it down to maturity - he wasn't the youngest in the class but not far off.

Perhaps your DS just needs a little extra time?

Oh and fwiw, my DS has been assessed as having extremely high Verbal and Non-Verbal IQ. Shows that school skills don't always match up with intelligence.

I am desperate to get ds1 (who is 5 in August) into gymnastics for a similar reason. Youngest in his reception class. Fanatastic reader and achieving above average BUT writing/fine motor skills are appalling. i do believe it is an age thing. I keep telling myself, had he been born at 42 weeks rather than just 37 weeks, he would not be at school yet...

Any non-writing YrR children please do not make them practice writing over summer.

Leave drawing materials out and easily accessible if they want to. I think forcing children to write (at home or at school) before they are ready can create huge problems for the future.

DS1 (summer birthday) didn't start school until the term after he was 5, and attended a non-reading/writing nursery. He learned to read at home already, and was pretty fluent, but had done very little writing at all.

He was joining a class of children who'd already had a year of formal education, so over the summer I taught him letter formation - but that was all we did.

By the Christmas of yr1 his teacher told me he was consistently writing far longer pieces than any other child in the class. I am convinced this is because he didn't have that early over-exposure to it.

My ds is just finishing year 1, and it really wasn't til after Christmas this year that he made any real progress in reading and writing. PLEASE don't be worried by your son's progress - he is still very little and he will get there. I suggest reading tons and tons of stories, maybe have a look at one of the excellent computer games available, and try some of the outside-y drawing with chalks (my dc's particularly liked doing this in the pavement - vandals in the making!) and painting with big brushes dipped in water.Don't do "proper"school work, do fun stuff.

Oh, and kick up a HUGE fuss about the lack of left handed scissors!!!!

How's his number work?

something ds1 loves
get a big baking tray
fill it half full with rice
get ds to pick a food colouring
puor over ruce to colour it and mix

leave somewhere for a few days to dry out

diy magndoodke thing
draw or write letters with your fingers - feels lurrrrverly - than can shake to start again

I ought to add - ds1 has only recently 'got' colouring and the letter formation is slowly folowing......

My DD was similar to your DS but slightly different case as she had problems with her gross and fine motor skills as well and now has a diagnosis of dyspraxia.

She responded very badly to any attempts on my behalf to help her with her writing so I had to take a step back and found that the best thing I could do was to make sure that home was a place where she could really chill out and potter along doing the things she liked and enjoyed, to give her a break from the school stuff. She has come a very long way and things are a lot better at the end of year 3. She's moving school in a weeks time as we are moving(eeeek !). I couldn't have contemplated this in reception as I think it would have just about have finished her off (and me !)

Her school have always been very supportive when in Year 1 she lost confidence and struggled with her writing, they got the LA to act as a scribe so that she could still write the stories etc that she wanted to (has a very vivid imagination). I think I would definitely go and have a chat and see what they can do to help in Year 1.

For this summer, I do agree very much with Roisin. Just have lots of lego, threading, playdough stuff, jigsaws, painting etc around for him to do if he wants to . But I think if they struggle a bit to keep up they do get mentally quite tired and it's really important that they do get a complete break to wind down.

wow, this has been such a fantastic response. Thank you everyone. I will definitely do as you say chocolate and have some fun stuff planned for the summer - I totally see what you and roisin are saying about having fun rather than saying "you must practice this for school". It's always seemed a sure fire way to turn him off, to me, if school just continues at home!

Katelyle, his number work is fine - just had his report and it seems that he has the completed the necessary something-or-other steps and has no problem basically with his counting or his understanding of the basic concepts of addition and subtraction.

It was a very useful report, actually, they had a graph to show his progress over the year so I was able to see that he has made huge steps (in all areas except writing and recognising words!) so it was reassuring. It reminded me that school is not ONLY writing!

My DS who turns 4 at the end of Aug and will start reception next year showed very little interest in any mark making at one point. His nursery commented on it too. A couple of things that worked well with him. Wipe clean books where it doesn't matter if he doesn't follow the marked out pattern because we can wipe it off and he can do it again and again so I just let him get on with doing what he wants. We have a wipe clean memoboard on the fridge and he stands on a chair and scribbles on that. I have also stuck sheets of blank paper on the walls and kitchen cabinet doors etc where he can stick stickers and draw and I make sure there are pens & pencils around. For some reason drawing on paper the walls and cupboards seems more attractive than sitting at a table and its something he can do when the impulse hits rather than being an organised activity (also it means his work is automatically on display). He is much more keen at mark making now and his pen control is improving.

www.scholastic.com/familymatters/read/grk_2/100words/index.htm

I worked through these with dd and she loved them, could never get her to stop. They are American, so you get color instead of colour and they mention garbage but those were the only differences I picked up on. The exercises are varied, fun and interesting. I think they're great.

My DS is 4 in august and was supposed to start school in sept but has language difficulties and probs with attention in class but v bright with numbers, letters etc. Not v interested in writing -(I don't think they have given them much writing tbh..) we have chosen to hold him back a year (we have moved to gibraltar) and are in process of requesting it. If they don't agree we are going to keep him at home (he will prob still go to nursery) and take him to spain instead next year! We feel very strongly about it. By the way, I bought some window writing pens so your DS could write on some windows (if practical...) or other pens for the bath