Non Competative Sports Days. I hate them

[castrolgtx]

Everyday the same children come out of school with certificates for good writing/reading/maths etc, but sports day can't be competative in case children are upset when they loose.
At the mum of two sports mad sons it drives me mad as it's their one chance to shine.
Anyone else agree?

Fio, I can tell you, I was at school more years ago than I care to remember, and sport was THE arena for humiliation and bullying.

The parents certainly, although thst stillr eflects on the kids doesn't it?

though I ahve to say, nobody si mroe competitive than DS1- and that is self instilled. After Monday they will BOTh (ds1 and ds2- ds3's already doen and dusted) be rewarded for making a real effort, though undoubtedly their resulst will differ.

There were actually Mums outside Nursery (ds3 is 3, fs) bragging about how much better their little kids ran than others- and how its a sign of futurre success.

I mean get a grip!

And those same ones were very upset when their kids didnt win every race.

Aloha - I'm sorry, but it's impossible to argue with you. You twist absolutely everything to suit your world view.

I advocate competitive sports days. I was brilliant at sport when I was a kid. Wiped the arse of anyone.

I'm quite convinced that that last statement will make you dislike me all the more - but no one else disliked me. None of peers whom I beat, disliked me.

Children simply do not work that way. Adults do.

But what I do not advocate is making SN kids do something they don't want to do. As a mother of an SN kid, I'm surprised that you allowed your child to compete if you held such strong views.

Why did you allow it? you could have winged it off couldn't you? Imagined a sickness?

It seems to me that if you feel that strongly about an SN child competing a school sports day, then maybe you shouldn't have let 'em.

In my school there was plenty of sneering at kids who were non sporty. Even at primary school I had zero intention of taking part in a race I was going to lose. I found if you went to the loo at the right moment, it was all quite avoidable.
I actually still remember watching the races - with a shudder - from the privacy of the girls' loos. I can see the playground now!

Of course I wouldn't force my kid to take part. He's five by the way and this is his first year in school. But why should I have to tell the school lies to avoid this situation? I don't get you at all. Are you advocating force participation or not?

After reading all the posts, I now feel like it would be still good to have a more traditional sports day with an element of competitivness, but it should be non compulsory, ie with other activities for the children who don't want to run
How does this sound to everyone as a compromise?

Fine, people can do what they like as long as they aren't forcing other people to join them.

er, yes. I think that's what most of us said right from the start.

ok thats good then!!

Jeez, you really don't listen, Aloha.

And after all that, has you dc even had a sports day yet, then?

I did let ds3 take part, it was the first year of the current format and I was unaware how it would pan out- I wouldn't again. I am hoping DS3 will be in a small and special;ist unit by next year (signs are he will) which will help, but I really ahd expected some kind of supportive empathy from the aprents of his peers- not dismissal, indeed I was very at one stage that he took a long time in a tiger feet stilts race that his teacher just picked him up and carried him to the end .

Bitter? yes. I thought people were supposed to be nice to kids, to cheer them all especiallya s littles. Ha! I learned a lesson! And a hard one too.

Our school is mega trad and I know sports day (as a method of recruitment and general show offery) will continue; I just wish the less able kids ahd options. Its sprint or hrdles full stop- nothing else is offered. How about a dance dispaly by some of the less able kids? The break would go down well, tbh. An d the oldest are 7. rather young age to have your 'arse wiped' isn't it? Bukd their self esteem first so that they relaise what they are good at.

And neither has yours!

Er, but I made that clear.

And he comes from a sporty family, so he's gonna be good.

I just didn't realize that there'd be someone on the sidelines bitching about him when he won.

So? Did I hide the fact? Bizarre.

Yeah, right, like anyone with any sense would go and see kids running about unless one of them was theirs. Believe me, I would like nothing better than never to see another sporting activity of any sort in my entire life. I think your kid is safe

Puddle - sorry, I had to go out for a bit. I wasn't ignoring you.

DS's work isn't displayed because there is nothing significant about it (except of course to him, his dad and me).

I was very hurt at the last parents day when I browsed the corridors around his classroom and saw lots of examples of children who could write their own name or write a sentance. The difference is that it's a private hurt. No other parent would notice that DS's work wasn't up for display as they are only looking for their childs work. That's not the same at a compulsory competitive sports day. It matters who comes first, second, third and last. There are no ranks on a display of art work.

I'll read the rest of the thread now, but I don't think I'll contribute anymore as I've tried hard to shwo that I'm not against competitive sports, just compulsory competition.

Thanks for asking about that though Puddle

DESEDERATA

'I advocate competitive sports days. I was brilliant at sport when I was a kid. Wiped the arse of anyone.

I'm quite convinced that that last statement will make you dislike me all the more - but no one else disliked me. None of peers whom I beat, disliked me.

Children simply do not work that way. Adults do. '

While I cannt comment on if the people you beat disliked you, and will obviously take your word tat they did not, can I just tell you that I remember the humiliation that was Sports day for the non sporty child. I still remember sobbing to my parents that I would make a fool of myself, and that my team mates would hate and despise me.

and I did the sprts day, humiliated myself amd edured the ire of my team mates for weeks.

It was most unpleasent.

I do see the benefit of the sports day for the sporty child, but I also understand the deep hurt that such days can cause.

I may not have hated the winner, goodness knows I wanted to be like them, or at laest to have them stop hating me for a few moments. But I hated the whole day with a passion that lives with me to this day.

Sorry but Alhoa "What sentient adult would do running races? How infantile would that be? " That made me giggle

I'm an adult, sentient and umm .... do running races these days. I'm an awfully slow runner and hardly ever got picked for sports day because I was crap at any track and field activity. These days I join in and still always end up near the end.

I'm somewhere inbetween I'm happy with my child having non competitive sports day at infant school. I can't imagine the school getting a bunch of young kids to do anything more than the fun activiities they did. They gave a special sticker for 1st place then stickers for everyone else for every activiity.

My son didn't come first at all and he didn't care and was delighted with his stickers. To me it's more important to get children enjoying physical activity whatever their skill level. Don't think it's a great idea to make some children so embarrased they won't try at such a young age.

As they go through junior and secondary school I'd like there to be a competitive element introduced. However hopefully they'll be school teams and clubs for children who really love it. I don't know at this stage if my children will love or hate sports or be good at one sort and crap at another.

I'd hate there to be the sort of sports day where children were forced. I was on the sidelines or came pretty much last at all my secondary school sports days and the atmosphere was such that it didn't seem to matter. I was allowed into the odd team sport sometimes. Funny thing I was fit and very active, just no good at the usual track and field. Coming from a family of dyslexics and dypraxics co-ordination isn't our best trait.

There must be a way of still celbrating those that are great at sport. Whilst not completely excluding the majority of us and those who really struggle. Even cheering on those who aren't the fastest or strongest. I work at many long distance running events and the stranglers always get the best cheers.

Dunno can't see why it has to be one or the other.

Bravo MB! This is the experience of so many children.

I get what you are saying AAF

I think I am trying to say the same, really.

Forcing kids to be competative is just horrible, really, IMO. It feels kind of like making them fight each other, sorry.

what you need to do is have a school sports day but make it NON COMPULSORY

that sorts out the whole problem, surely?

Well, I think you are stark staring mad Blueblob but good for you if you like it. My dh goes running and I think he's insane for doing it. He doesn't do races though.

Obviously I didn't mean stranglers , extra n slipped in there.

I'm not disputing your feelings, martian.

But kids like me needed some outlet too.

I can't help feeling that this whole thread's fucked up, tbh.

So you all argue amongst yourselves about abolishing sports day in aid of something more productive, like lentil weaving, and I'll go and kill the last remaining oran utang in Borneo.

After all, the nation's kids are slender enough, aren't they?