Good parenting- tips needed how to help 7 year old who is behind in learning catch up

[Cantthinkofnameargh]

Regular poster, name change here

My son is 7 years old and behind in school. He falls short of average level. I think he can do better. I am not expecting him to be the best in the class or school but just reach his potential. The school doesn't want to provide any extra help as there are 10 kids in his class that are deemed to need support compared to him. I feel that in primary schools it's always kids near the middle group that suffer.

I would like to help him but I'm not sure what to do. He does activities like swimming, karate and football.his main interest in lego so we have been to legoland quite a few times.

However would like to help him on the academic side in a fun way. What can I do? For example in the holidays I've tried to get him to write a diary - just a few lines what he did with a picture but he absolutely hates that.we have been to a few museums and sometimes I get him to read 1 or 2 lines from a sign with information eg dinosaur museum - an easy sign to read. He finds this boring.even when the school gives out craft projects he picks the craft option rather then writing option which is fine but then he doesn't want to do any of the craft making and wants me to do it. What can I do to get him to be interested and excited about learning?

I really hope anyone can give advice or tips even if you think it sounds obvious. The reason is that I come from a background where the traditional norm is learning means sit at a desk and practice until perfect , go to Kumon, get a tutor. However I'm interested in finding about the fun way and don't know how to do this

How many other kids in the school who need help is irrelevant and not a reason as to why the school is not able to support your son.

Are the school concerned about him being behind?

Do you think have some learning difficulties or is it just that he's behind rather than say ASD is something?

HurricaneHalle,

I think he is behind because he has a hidden disability and because he is behind - both. I am waiting to see nhs specialist for more tests. The pediatrician has said it's very hard even from the test results to give definate diagnosis as to whether the disability causing the learning difficulty. Thats the problem.The head of the year told me he doesn't have a problem (doesn't understand hidden disability) and she has seen kids with worse problems then him. Another specialist nhs report said that he needs a educational assessment but SENCO head has refused saying that she is only given 6 visits for the school and that they all have visible disability and he doesn't. Therefore whilst I am waiting for all this to be resolved I am trying to do everything I possibly can with the assumption he is just behind. I have been waiting for more than a year for these tests so I want to do whatever else I can as a parent.....sorry for rambling

Well, is he behind or is he towards the lower end of average academically? Not 100% clear from the post.

The 6 visits thing is true for my area, we are granted a certain amount of time to get assessments done etc. It does mean that staff prioritise those most in need when deciding who to put forward. I'm not in the UK though and am presuming you are, so I can't speak as to how it is there.

RavenWings

I think he is between being behind and lower average generally. In some areas like physical development he is behind rather then lower end of average . I tried asking the teacher and year head and I'm not really given honest answers e.g. In a report it said he was being given extra help reading. When I asked the teacher she said no ignore that - he doesn't get any extra help. It was a specific report with few lines for him

Very strange about the report - I wonder if the comment was meant for another child?Anyway, I agree that it sounds like he'd benefit from an assessment but also that he may simply not be of high enough needs to warrant an immediate one from school allocation. I work in a bit of a different setting now but I remember when I was working in primary, we had children who we felt it would be beneficial to assess, but others were simply of greater need. If you can, I'd consider going private for assessment.

You can find out how behind he is with a quick google of what an average 7 year old should know developmentally, I often look myself for my son, but couldn't link you to anything as my 5yr old still follows the early years foundation system so have specific charts for his age group, but if you google his age and development milestones, There will be a check list come up & you can mark off accordingly and what ever he can't do you can work with him on those things.

Find out what he's lagging on & set yourself some targets and tick them off when he has achieved it then move onto the next thing, practice the skill with him at every opportunity.. things on my list at the minute are catch a ball, bounce a ball, hop on one foot, snip with scissors, identify own name from small group of different names.

(My son has autism & is around 2 years delayed in development so trying to work on things to get him caught up)

Do you have eBay? I've ordered a lot of learning material from there, all excellent quality, number cards, letters, sight words, tracing games etc etc, they have older kids bits aswell as I see it all when I was searching,

You say he doesn't enjoy you trying to teach him, could you do a sticker chart and maybe do half hour or 45 minutes before bed each night of 'learning' each night when you've finished he will earn a sticker and at the end of the week for a full week of stickers he will earn a treat of some kind (big chocolate bar, McDonald's or something else he likes?)

It's also known as bribery, but whatever gets results

I'll try find some development charts for his age group for you & report back when I get a chance. X

Have you received his KS1 SATs results? Has he met expected level or is he working towards the expected standard?

In terms of fun more informal ideas:
cooking - reading a recipe - weighing and measuring.
Magazines can be great especially on a topic he is interested in - reading articles, activities and reading the instructions (I will happily find the materials)
Board games can be excellent for Maths, Yahtzee, Junior Monopoly, Pass the Pigs and also spelling e.g. junior Scrabble.
Library reading challenge.
My DD sees maths apps as fun rather than making her sit down and do a workbook.
Does he like getting post? Is there someone he could write to and then get a letter back.
Other Maths idea, is get him to earn some money doing jobs round the house, he can then go and spend it and work out what he can afford and what change he’ll get. Or if you let him buy some sweets for example, give him the money and a limit and get him to work out what he can afford. (Penny sweets are excellent for mental maths!)
Reading the shopping list when you go shopping.
We read, write and do maths all of the time, it is a case of highlighting it, e.g. cutting a pizza to share between all of you is fractions, telling the time, writing a shopping list etc.

What’s the hidden disability?

I can’t work out what’s going on here - whether he’s just average or actually academically lagging. Can you post more detail?

A diagnosis is usually a descriptor of symptoms held under one heading, not a definitive answer as to the cause of the symptoms. If you’re v concerned then push for an EHC assessment.

danni0509
Thank you very much for your reply.i didn't think of that I will try to do that. I used to do that when he was a baby (red nhs book ) but I didn't realise that even at this age you can get them. That will be great if you know of any good development charts that you can post.

Norestformrz
I asked the school and they said that they can't give SATs results out for year 2

Ionacat
Brilliant, thanks for this list. Looking for lots of fun activities like these.

Dennishoppersocks
Epilepsy. I think he is below average but according to the teachers there are 10 more pupils that need more help then him. I have been told he looks fine so he doesn't need any help...they don't understand the hidden disability aspect- invisible seizures ie seizures that are not outly visible in class.

this info states that you can request results from school..... assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/719264/Information_for_parents_assessment_results_at_the_end_of_key_stage_1_WEB.._.pdf

"I asked the school and they said that they can't give SATs results out for year 2" legally they must supply you with the end of KS results.

We signed our son up for Maths Whizz. It's like a tutor on the computer rather than a person which my son prefers.

BrightonBB & Norestformrz
Thank you. I didn't realise that they had to supply it if requested. I will email a copy and highlight it for them.

daffodildelight
Thanks for this link. Looks really good.

Could you ask the epilepsy specialist nurse to come into school to talk to staff. Does your some have a medical plan in place?

www.epilepsy.org.uk/sites/epilepsy/files/info/Individual%20healthcare%20plan%20for%20epilepsy%20_oct2016.pdf

I think I would be more concerned about his apparent lack of interest in learning anything he doesn’t like. So he doesn’t seem enthused by reading. Does epilepsy impact on this?

Often children at the lower end of middle are not bad enough for Sen. An illness doesn’t automatically qualify and he is doing sport ok. All the fun things in the world won’t help him read if he hasn’t understood phonics for example. I would work closely with his teacher next year. Also how do you know what his potential is? He might be working at his potential but it’s just not as high as other children but better then others. Many children are in this position. I hope all the above suggestions help though.

Norestformrz
Thank you for the link
Only a health plan because I have been pestering the school about various incidents.

Do you mean the school nurse? We have nhs consultant pediatrician but no nurse.

BubblesBuddy
I think the epilepsy is impacting him in that the seizures that are not visible are affecting his brain one of them being concentration

Any ideas how to closely work with the teacher. I have tried for the last few years and they keep ignoring me on this point?

I'd ask the paediatrician if there is a specialist epilepsy nurse who can come into school to offer staff training about the needs of children like your son and your sons needs in particular. I'd also speak to the school nurse about a car plan for school.

Norestformrz

Thank you. Will do that.

Care not car

Hi,

I have an 8 year old monkey who has struggled academically for a while. I tend to incorporate it into every day life so for example if we are in the car we play a game where we count a certain colour car each then at the end add the numbers together. I think its about making it fun and appear normal.

My son is much like me as I suffered with severe dyslexia at school, my teachers would just leave me at the back of the class or tell me off in front of everyone so my attitude changed to fuck it and I was expelled.

With my son I never act disappointed if he gets it wrong and over react with praise when he gets it right as sometimes it can be a fear for them that they get it wrong.

I have epilepsy as well and have had it since I was 20 following a head injury.

What medication is he on as I was on topirimate and epilim and found these really slowed down my thought process and I developed a stamma that I still have now. I would also agree that his seizures play a massive part in this as after mine I couldn't tell you my own name let alone take in information in a class room.

If he has "absence seizures" or partial seizures that are not terribly obvious, and if they are not well controlled so that he is having them fairly frequently in class, then yes it stands to reason that his learning will not keep up. He quite simply will not be getting as much time to learn in as he should. And that is before you consider any side effects of medication.

I agree it sounds like he should be a priority for proper assessment, and hope you can get him to the head of the queue or get something done privately; however private assessments need to be done by reasonably good people to be worthwhile so can be quite expensive.

Lots of good activity suggestion above, I hope you can use some of them.

Another basic you can update if they haven't been checked recently - eyesight and maybe also hearing. Children with sight problems can go under the radar as they don't complain - they don't know that what they see / don't see is not normal!

Daddyto2monsters
Thank that's sounds like a fun game, will try it out.

Agreed with consultant, my son is not on any medication at the moment. Waiting further tests. However, the consultant suggested that after test results if we need to start medication there are a couple I can choose from: epilum, toprimate and lamictal and suggested the best one would be sodium valproate (epilim)so I will go with that. He highlighted that I look at the side effects and I did read side effects and one of them is with learning amongst other things but seems there is no other treatment aside from ketogenic diet. I enquired about this with consultant and he said nhs only provides this to kids who don't respond to medication first so looks like medication then.
Thanks for telling me about your experience with medication and slower thought process. From your experience with epilepsy and slower thought process due to the meds is there anything else I could do to help my son?

Pythonesque
Thank you. Yeah no obvious visible signs at all.

That's a good idea- had an eye test a while ago but will book one in the next few days just to double check.

Definitely, I'm so grateful for all the suggestions.

Will try to go back to the school and speak to them about getting son assessed