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Primary education

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Original poster

Violence in primary school - advice needed please

85 replies

Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 13:32

Hi, this is my first post on Mumsnet (I joined the site specifically for this lol), I'm asking for advice from you all in regards to my kids current school.

My eldest is currently in Year 2, and academically she is fine, her home life is good, shes generally a happy kid. HOWEVER, lately I've notic ed a dramat ic change in her personality, and yesterday she came home from school upset.
Amongst her classmates, there are seven or eight children who are incredibly disruptive- shouting out, screaming etc, and she is often bothered by that and complains of headaches. To ma ke matters worse, these same chi ldren have taken to throwing furniture across the room and my daughter has been hit with a chair on previous occasions, and yesterday her and her friend had a tab le flipped on top of them. Earlier on in the year, a student in the class trashed the classroom to the extent that the children had an emergency evacuation onto the playground and the classroom was closed off for the rest of the day. I was in the school when this happened, and it was honestly lik e a prison riot scene from a film. I know th is sounds exaggerated but its the honest to god truth - I've never seen anything like it.
After this incident, I told the teachers how it affected my daughter, that she felt frightened and spent the weekend dreading the return to school. This incident was creat ed by one child, but now it has spread acro ss the class and there is now a group of children who have started throwing furniture at other children and the staff.
Th is has been going on for the la st year; getting worse and more frequent. It was my daughters' 'taster' day yeste rday in year three, and the behaviour continued there.
She's been so stress ed her hair has started falling out.
I ve spoken to the teachers, and theyre apparently at a loss as to what to do- their only option for the disruptive kids is to let them out of the classroom and to run around the school.
Ive emai led the head teacher, but Im not hoping for much as this is the second email I've sent (the first one I didn't get a reply from for four weeks).
I don't know what to do, and any advice is greatly appre ciat ed as I am at my wits end.

Sorry for the long rambling post, and I hope it's coherent.

OP posts:
gingergenius · 05/07/2018 13:34

Really?

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/07/2018 13:35

Oh just move her. Life is too short. Phone up see where has spaces and go visit.see if she can start in September then keep her off the last couple of weeks
.

Rockandrollwithit · 05/07/2018 13:35

The situation as you describe it has escalated so far that the teachers would not be able to stop it on their own. They need the support of the headteacher.

Keep sending emails. Phone the school office. You need to see the HT as soon as possible as this is unacceptable.

I'm a teacher and if this was my child, I would be looking for another school.

Original poster
Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 13:42

I've rang up other school's and they've advised me to go via the council. I didn't know what to do for the best as she has some good friends at the school and moving her would mean moving her sister too, and I know they'd b oth be upset. The attitude at the school seems to be this is normal behaviour, so I've never gotten far, and my complaints have been brushed off. This is the second school my eldest has attended (the first being just as bad), so I thought this behaviour was almost 'the norm' (?) I don't want to be constantly moving my kids from school to school, but obviously safety is the issue and the school are failing to kee p my kids safe. From a legal perspectuve, am I allowed to remove my kids say, tomorrow and refuse to let them go back? I know this may sound stupid but I'm not sure where I stand.

It's not just the furniture. there's a lot going on in that school that I have concerns about.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 05/07/2018 13:46

I know it's awful to think about them keaving their friends behind but you won't be the only one phoning around and if you stay for said friends then they may well take the spaces at the other schools and where does that leave you then. Try the council find out where has spaces and go from there. You don't have to take the spot if you don't want it.

Original poster
Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 13:46

I sent the email last night, and called the school this morning. I was originally told the headteacher was in a meeting, then the deputy called and said she weren't even in the school site. But I woukd hear from her by tomorrow. I realise time is the issue as there is only three weeks of this term left, and it seems like the school is in no hurry. So I take it this isn't the standard for other schools?

Thank you for your responses.

OP posts:
musicinthe00ssucks · 05/07/2018 13:48

Move her without a doubt. She's never going to learn in an environment like that and she is still young enough to adapt to a new school setting.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 05/07/2018 13:57

That's not normal levels of disruption. For a young child to be as disruptive as that there must be a serious problem (either a problem at home or a developmental issue). It's unusual for there to be more than one child so extreme in the class and usually by Y2 the child would be getting some kind of intervention. What on earth have the school been doing to tackle this? I personally would just move her.

Original poster
Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 14:06

the school suspended the boy for a couple of days, but he just went back to 'normal' upon returning. T he school has numerous 'quiet rooms' which are essentially converted cupboards with P E mats atta ched to the walls where the kids are put to calm down. Its basically a padded cell (lol). Other than that, the other strategies the school uses is letting the kids run around the school site so they're not disru pting the class. This all sounds like a really bad joke, but unfortunately it's true.

Seeing this written out is awful, and I feel guilty for not doing something sooner. I just wanted to give the school a chance.

OP posts:
PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 05/07/2018 14:10

the school suspended the boy for a couple of days, but he just went back to 'normal' upon returning.

How is suspending a 6/7 year old going to have any impact at all? A boy who is acting out like that has serious issues which need addressing for his own and everyone else's sake. I can't believe the school aren't doing anything more proactive. Poor boy and poor other children who must feel terrified at school.

SnapCards · 05/07/2018 14:15

I've worked in schools like this, it's more common than you think.

I'd move her without a doubt, it's obviously not a good cohort and your DD will end up stuck with these children all throughout primary school.

Original poster
Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 14:37

Thank you all for your responses! I've just put my children on the list for some other local schools following your advice.
Yep, said child was suspended and is now back in the class. From what I've gathered he spends the majority of his school day sat in the corridor screaming his pipes out. Th e current situation isn't beneficial for anyone.
Is there an increase in this behaviour in general? I never noticed this sort of stuff 'back in my day', which was 20 years ago.

OP posts:
Knowivedonewrong · 05/07/2018 14:47

As an ex TA who has worked with children that display this behaviour of trashing the classroom, I would recommend you move your child to another school.

The school sounds totally ineffective in their dealing of said children and they are failing both your child and the children with behaviour issues.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 05/07/2018 14:53

Change school. If you can, send in a letter and homeschool until a place somewhere else is available.
It does not appear to be a safe place for a child.

Original poster
Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 14:56

Thank you, it's always good to hear from people wh o have had first -hand experience in education. I had a word with the class teacher this morning and she implored me to keep emailing the head teacher to complain. She said I have 'parent power' and that I may get listened to as the staff dont. Not good hearing that from a member of staff!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/07/2018 14:59

Of course this isn't how most schools are!

If she was mine I would be moving her as soon as possible. I would make an appointment with the Head and say exactly what your issues are. What is the OFSTED like?

BarbarianMum · 05/07/2018 15:04

Glad you think it's funny. Personally I'd advise any parent with a child in a school like this to get them the hell out.

Original poster
Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 15:11

Sorry if that offended you BarbarianMum, I don't find it funny, it was meant as a 'this is so bad all I can do is laugh' "lol". I'm sorry it came across wrong.
The OFSTED is 'good' and one of the things they mentioned is that it's exceedingly good for children's personal development.

OP posts:
Original poster
Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 15:13

Thank you all for you replies and advice, I appreciate all of it.

OP posts:
heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 16:08

Can you teach your daughter to fight back at the bullies and avoid hitting the tearchers?

Original poster
Andthenjust · 05/07/2018 16:43

Lol heatwave, no, as tempting as it is I'd rather my kids not retaliate like that... It's also not in their nature to fight etc.
I've applied for some other schools today, and told my kids they could possibly be moving school and surprising ly they don't care Confused

OP posts:
LadyPeacock · 05/07/2018 19:31

It is more common than you would think because of the Catch 22 situation of mainstream inclusion being prioritised and yet SEN provision in MS schools being acutely underfunded.

I live in a large County where there is not a single, not one, full time specialist in-County SEMH placement for any child between YR- Y4.

The LEA line is 'mainstream schools need to try harder with these children'. Leading to the scene OP describes.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 05/07/2018 19:58

These schools also have a duty of care to the kids that behave tbh. Had to go into school a few times this year for lower level stuff this year that was happening to my son who has sen and is in year one. They sorted it and I’m glad of that before it escalates

BubblesBuddy · 05/07/2018 20:54

I have never, ever, heard of padded cupboards! This child urgently needs a statement for a special school and to see a child psychiatrist. Very quickly.

The school clearly has far too many children who are out of control and the teachers need support from the Head. They will all leave - surely? Would you work there?

You have a dreadful Head and school. Do find another school for your DD because your school is hopeless and what is happening is not acceptable. I would contact Ofsted.

LadyPeacock · 05/07/2018 20:59

Statements don't exist and there are not always special schools available for young children with 'just' SEMH. Where they do exist they are often full.