I think my son has been treated unfairly

[Ch4rlieboy]

My son had an issue at school on Friday and I’m just wandering what the best advice is to go forward? He’s 5 and in reception and went on his first big trip with school to the beach. My mum went to pick him up from school as I was at work and told me that when she got there the TA (teacher is off sick) invites all the parents in to classroom to collect their children which is unusual as they normally walk them out and let them go one by one once they have seen the parent/carer. As mother walked in, the TA said she had just gave him a very good telling off because he was in the cubical with another boy who was weeing but said that he wasn’t doing anything in there just stood there waiting. So she got into the classroom to find my LO really distressed and crying to the point he was catching his breath while another TA was insisting that he take his PE kit off and change back into his uniform in the class full of children and their parents. He is still upset about the incident and said he didn’t like it that all the grown ups were looking at him in his pants. Now is it just me or is this completely out of order? What shall I do next?

Sorry for the typos. Phone!

I would be extremely pissed off at my child being told to get changed in public.

Oh poor little boy, I feel really sad for him op.
He was embarrassed at being asked to change in front of a load of people. I'm shocked that quite a few people feel he was unreasonable to be upset.... not sure you'd like it much.
As for the toilet issue, yes they were right but sounds like they went a bit overboard.

I wouldn't go in on the bounce op but it might be an idea to have a quiet word with the teacher and explain how he felt.
I'm guessing the ta was feeling the pressure a bit as the teacher wasn't there.

I agree with bangingmyheadoffabrickwall even in Y1 some kids will wander into the toilet together, it's really not a big deal by all means tel him not to but why act as though he deliberately did something awful? I also think it's unfair to make him change with loads of strangers gawping at him. I'd go in and discuss it calmly with the school.

I also think that while yes, school trips are stressful for the TAs they're also adults and trained professionals so shouldn't be losing their rag. We wouldn't allow children to shout and scream at each other because they're hot and tired so the adults should certainly be able to grit their teeth and get on with it (then pour themselves a huge glass of wine at the end of the day).

Completely agree with bangingmyhead

Poor mite is only 5, hope he feels better now OP.

If you don't report it OP, same thing will happen to someone else, with the same attitude from the TA. Hope it's tabled at least as unacceptable behaviour from her. As someone said, a retraining of some sort is needed.

Sounds like it was a combination of things:
Not being dressed in the right kit for the trip.
The teacher off sick.
Confusion about rules in the loo.
Being the only one having to change back into uniform.
Grandma picking up instead of mum (who might have felt more confident about handling this)
Everyone tired & a bit stressed after the school trip.

Your poor boy. Sounds like an upsetting, confusing and humiliating experience.
All of mine would have been freaked out by this happening at school. You’re not overreacting.

Do speak to his teacher and head of year and also try and resolve the communication difficulties you’re having.
Do you have a class rep? A class WhatsApp thread can also be useful for reminders.
Little ones hate not having the right things at school. It can make them quite anxious if they’re always having to borrow the school spares.
Hope he’s feeling more cheerful today.

I’ve had an apology from the TA, she has now realised that it was unacceptable and has assured me it won’t happen again. I have dropped the complaint as an acceptance and apology was all I wanted in the first place to ensure it didn’t happen again. My son is fine now and has only mentioned it once this week so hopefully he’s forgetting it.

Well done for raising your concerns OP, and I'm pleased that you got an apology.

Should anything come up in future, are there any pastoral staff you could speak to? When my DS2 had issues last year, I spoke to the learning mentor.

I am a parent-governor and in nearly 5 years something of this type hasn't come to the our governing body, though I'm dismayed by the response that OP is just totally wrong from an experienced Vice Chair. I do think such issues need to be addressed but hopefully by someone who can make sure pupils are treated in a way which doesn't damage their learning.

Pleased about the outcome.