Sports ability - do they change?

[KHFC2018]

DS is 7 and summer born. He is great academically, but unfortunately as far as I can tell, not athletic/agile/strong, and is weak in a variety of sports.

It is not exactly a problem, everyone has their own talents and weaknesses, and DS is, bless him, enthusiastic about sports now. I am, however, slightly worried that as time goes on, he will start to feel that he is "behind" and lose interest.

Do you have any positive stories for me? Does not sporty at 7 means not sporty ever?

How much playing out does he do? Do you head out to parks a lot etc? A lots of the 8yr old children I know describe them selves as ‘not sporty’ because at the end of the day their families don’t do much sport and exercise so they don’t either, so they don’t get to improve their physical literacy and skills.

@KHFC2018 I've got one DC who is very sporty and another DC that is less interested. My advice is to try lots of different sports and work out what motivates them. My DS1 likes sociable team sports but he rapidly loses confidence if his team loses all the time - his ambition is to win a national competition, which was never going to happen in a "majority" sports like football or tennis, so we focus on much less common sports with enthusiastic and ambitious local coaches - look around to see what clubs are in your area.

My DS2 doesn't care for team sports at all but is very strong and in need of a bit of discipline, so we focus his attention on martial arts. He also does swimming for all-round fitness, and that is something we can do together (even though I'm not very good at it and he laps me 2:1) - if you can get your son swimming lengths for the sheer buzz of it then his fitness will be sorted for life even if he never joins a club or competes.

Thank you everyone who shared their experiences and advice! I posted on a particularly bad day when it dawned on me just how big the gap is between DS and his peers in sports. Am feeling much more positive now and will definitely follow up on some suggestions here!

Another vote for junior park run here - mum to a non sporty and late summer birthday boy of 10 who hates football; difficult as he's in a football mad year group at school. But in desperation we had a go at our local junior park run last summer and still go whenever we can (I work a lot of weekends so can't always get there). He still runs like a lumbering & flailing truck but with a big grin on his face and has now got wristbands to show how he's achieved distance milestones. We've met some nice people doing it - and we've had lots of chats about grit and determination, and 'just having a go'. Now, I've been inspired by him to do couch25K. To be honest I'm pretty rubbish at it! But, we go out and do some runs together (and how he loves that he has to wait for me to catch up!) now we are aiming to have a go at an adult park run together in the summer. Good luck at whatever you try:)

humiliTy I know. I'm happy for him to plod along while he enjoys it. I resent the guilt trip placed on the few parents who don't also do the martial art and don't have the time/money/inclination for more than one night a week.

On the bright side, I was not a sporty child (gangly, speccy, picked last) but have never put weight on and do 3 gym sessions a week as an adult.

My just turned 8 year old often says he isn't good at sports. I think he's told this by other kids in his class and they mean football. He's quite ungainly and struggles with fine and gross motor skills a bit. We refocused him on committing to trying a range of sports and staying fit, and enjoying being active.

He can swim 25m well and loves being in the water. He joins every sports club school offer and has taken part in football, street dance, cheerleading, zumba and netball and does so with huge enthusiasm.

We're a very outdoorsy family so always out walking, camping etc. He's also a Beaver Scout (soon to be a Cub) so gets to try lots of outdoor activities and sports that way.

If he sees, or hears about, a sport he is curious about we make an effort to try it with him. We currently have skiing and ice skating on our list to try and he's also taken an interest in basketball recently.

I think it's really crucial to see past the black and white omniculture of football for this age group (especially in boys) and that not enjoying football doesn't mean you aren't good at all sports. There is a sport out there for everyone.

Loads of pro sportsmen started late (not that you are hoping for your child to be a pro). My point is, where the focus is the body will find a way. If he's keen then he'll find a way of playing, only if it is just for fun!

Oyo - totally agree with boys as football is often the benchmark. Boys who start at 3 and are doing club football at 5/6 will be better at it than those that don’t as league football starts in year 2.
Lots of pro sports people did ‘start late’ but if you read their autobiographies most were sporty a young age: just maybe not in the sport they later take up.
Read the book ‘Bounce’ by Mathew Syed. Loads of elite exceptional sports people were actually heavily coached from age 3
There is a direct link between hours and ability

Also-summer-born DS came last in everything at his reception class sports day and was very slow learning to swim, despite having lessons from 4yo.

He was never interested in football, it's not something his dad or I have ever been into. We took him to rugby and his throwing and catching was good but he hated it because he was never fast enough to score a try.

I had always really hoped he would inherit his dad's sporting prowess, not my lack of it, so was a bit anxious for him. But he's nearly 9 now and his swimming is much better since I moved him to a bigger centre which pushes them a bit more. He was exhausted the first week trying to keep up but improved really quickly.

In the last couple of years he has shown a real aptitude for karate, much to the joy of his black belt father, and at the end of last year he won two gold medals in his first regional competition.

He had a go at badminton recently and liked it so we're taking him for a couple of trial sessions at a nearby juniors club. It's starting to get expensive but I'll give him the opportunity to have a go at anything he shows an interest in at this stage because I want him to be an active child and hopefully remain active as an adult.

Thank you everyone for the experience you shared! We went on holiday with DS and his swimming is actually much improved from when we last swam with him a while ago (he just has weekly school swimming lessons now). I will just relax and be as encouraging as I can!

Definitely try as many sports as possible until you find one that works for you or your child.

In my experience, people who lack natural co-ordination and aptitude for hitting / kicking/ catching a moving ball will struggle with any ball game, and should focus on sports which don’t involve them.

Football is obviously by far the most popular sport for boys, but it is a very demanding game to play properly, requiring speed, fitness and good ball skills.