Mum fell sick on school run

[Olivia93]

Hi all im asking for my cousin whos been sick with cold and flu and fever faint at her children school this morning because her temperature was high and she had no one to take them to school and no family around. The school was very helpful , ambulance was called took her to the hospital and discharge . She worrying that school will thinks she a bad mother and because she has no family around , they will involved social service and take her 2 kids away. I told her not to worry , everything will be fine . Please ladies help my cousin to feel secure that shes not a bad mum at all

threeelephants your school sounds amaxing!

OP if it helps, I worked with a lady once who was in a refuge, new to the country, and heavily pregnant. She became ill with a virus and had to go in to hospital. The refuge couldn't care for the children so they went in to foster care, with her agreement. AT NO POINT did anyone question her parenting, she was just poorly. She came out of hospital, was given a couple of days to recover, and the kids were dropped off back with her. No delay, no questions asked. Because they knew she was a loving mum.

I'm not saying this because I think for one moment that your cousin's kids will be removed. I'm saying it to illustrate that when a mum is taken ill, services seek to support, not remove kids. I'm sure even this won't be an issue for your cousin.

So all she's actually done is fall ill at school? I can't remotely see why anyone would be other that entirely sympathetic.

In terms of the next few days, it sounds like the best thing is to ask another parent to take her DC to school while she rests (and ideally has them after school as well). Regardless of whether they are friends or not, this is something that most parents would be totally happy to do.

Yes she should reach out...and on another occasion she can help someone else.
As lone parent with other L.P. we had mutual understanding to help..and two parent famies helped too. It s not shameful to be lp. People will help. And in emergency ss are obliged to help make sure dc are looked after temporarily if mum is ill and in hospital.

I think there is no need to worry about SS but some informal Plan B would be good. Schools do know that parents sometimes struggle and I agree a Family Liasion officer may be a good point of contact.

We had it that both DH and I were down with the flu but DD had recovered already, I fell sick a couple of times when DH was away on business and there are several mums in my road/around the corner I can phone and they will pick up DD/drop her off. Obviously I do the same.

That really helps. I was never so glad when DD started Y6 and was allowed to walk alone when I had a knee operation and was housebound for weeks.

SS have far better things to do than take children away from a single parent who is temporarily ill against the parent's will.

However, I do agree with other posters that your cousin could benefit from having some contacts of other parents at the school who might do her the odd favour in an emergency.

There is no shame in asking for help occasionally, and most people would be happy to help out if they are able to.

In all of my kids schools this would result in nothing other than offers of help from staff and parents.

Not one person would judge her for being that committed to her kids education that she got there, and if this referral landed on my desk outside of Mum needing and wanting someone to care for the kids because she was still in hospital or something I would be thinking huh why refer?

Explaining to the school office and enlisting their help is all she needs to do. Let them take it from there.

In a roundabout way it could actually be a positive thing for your cousin, going forward.

She'll hopefully get some sort of local network out of this, which can only be a good thing.

OP I have been in the same situation as your cousins where I have had no close family or support. It can be so so hard.

What I did was anytime I could help people I would. Also in the UK there are many people in the same boat so sometimes it helps to know you can try find a different support network.

I always try to help people by offering play dates, baby sitting and on and on. That way it can be swings and roundabouts.

Also when I was really ill I didn't feel bad about endless takeaways (it was the only way my children could eat at night for a whole) and so on it just had to be done as I couldn't even cook or go upstairs.

Thankfully a single mum took my kids and dropped them to and back from school, she did this before and after I go out of hospital, she just came up to me one day and said you look so Ill let me do drop off and pick up.

There was another mum who worked full time and took my children on a play date for two weekends in a row. Those two Saturdays allowed me a 3 hour break whist the time was massive for me.

I always think that at such a crap time in my life to see someone helping me selflessly really made me feel better.

So now I really do go out of my way to help.

Your cousins should not worry and I hope she can ask for help.

I don’t know why you think having no family/friends around would be a case for social services? Plenty of people live away from their families. We’ve recently moved but before moving were 200 miles from family and friends. It’s not a reason for social services involvement .