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Primary education

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Original poster

In Yr2 kids same sex relationships lessons

329 replies

yasminluv · 25/01/2018 21:50

Hi
In Year 2 they have a day where kids learn about samesex relationships
It’s after Easter apperantly is that nationally and is every school different

If this to happen How can I as a parent address this with the teacher the fact that I don’t want him to participate

OP posts:
BIWI · 09/02/2018 19:10

shouldn't

CatchingBabies · 09/02/2018 19:30

Oh no! No one told me there was a suitable age for children to be taught about THE GAY!

I guess I'd best ask 5 year old DD which one of her mummies she would like to keep, I wonder if Argos sell stand in dads? Just until she's 9 or 10 of course!

Seriously OP I was raised in a strict catholic home, I was withdrawn from all sex education, not allowed to learn anything other than this is what we believe and so this is what you must do. Didn't stop me from being a lesbian, all it did is mean that I spent many many years depressed and suicidal as I thought I was a freak and thought my parents would hate me.

someoneorother · 09/02/2018 20:46

@BIWI My message was in response to "Wow. How has your child reached 7 without meeting any same-sex couples?"

flamingo3 · 10/02/2018 15:29

I think there's a genuine concern here that parents are losing the right to be the main moral educators of their children. Didn't used to be the case - why is it now? Because the government say so? OP is legally entitled to withdraw her son at the moment but not for much longer. Gov are currently consulting on parents' views on new relationship education from which parents will have no legal right to withdraw children (think it's from Sept 19 but could be wrong on that?) I would have thought other parents would be more supportive, not of OP's view of same sex relationships necessarily, but of her right to decide what is right for her child who she after all know better than anyone. At infant school stage at any rate. All kids are different - my DD asked me when she was in reception if a girl could marry a girl etc and I explained when they're grown up yes, it fairly recently (which is why most books etc are still opposite sex marriages) became law that they can. My DS on the other hand is now 6 and still not mentioned or interested in the subject of relationships, or anything that hasn't got wheels to be fair!
It's not as simple as it sounds explaining to a class of 7 year olds as they'll ask lots of questions so teacher can't just say "love who you like" and leave it there. When I was teaching kids loved any sort of extended discussion - see it as an opportunity to delay work I think! So the teacher can't really guarantee in advance exactly what will be said. I'd have thought it's better just to have all types of families commonly represented in different things they're doing rather than single one type out for a special day. The point being to ensure all children feel accepted whatever their home situation.
As for the astonishment about how a 7 year old could never have met a same sex couple - it's pretty common not to actually. People who identify as LGB are not 10% of the population as someone else claimed but 2% according to office for national statistics www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/culturalidentity/sexuality/bulletins/sexualidentityuk/2016
My kids have been in three schools so far and haven't been aware of any same sex couples in any of them and their radius of contacts doesn't yet extend much beyond school and family.

BIWI · 10/02/2018 15:56

I'm sorry, but just because you haven't come into contact with any gay couples doesn't mean that your children shouldn't learn about same sex marriages.

That's like people who live in mainly white areas being allowed to express racist views because they haven't come across any black people Hmm

And if you look at the proportion of the young population (16-24s) who identify as LGBTQ, it's much higher than the national average, which suggests that - finally - people are happy to 'come out', rather than hide their natural sexual orientation.

anonteacher1 · 11/02/2018 06:31

You do know that even if you take him out the lesson that he'll still hear it from kids on the playground??? HmmHmmHmm

My dd is 7 and I'm bloody pleased that she knows about "gays" in the same way she is accepting and tolerant of disabilities.

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 11/02/2018 08:16

Honestly not difficult to share this information. My two year old stated that everyone has a Mummy and a Daddy. I said some people do but some have two Mummies or Two Daddies or just a Mummy or a Daddy. That some people don't have children either and that's OK too and that some people don't have a Mummy or a Daddy (recent bereavement in the family).

She said "OK Mummy" and went back to playing.

Job done. The earlier you introduce topics like this, the earlier he'll just accept its fact. 6 is way too late, I would presume he already knows. I certainly knew about sex by then from playground chat but my parents ignored that fact for many many years.

ItalianOne · 11/02/2018 08:30

Op I think your germttibg a flaming for no reason.religion and seen very well on mumsnet.
It isn't homophobic to disagree with gay relationships, or gay adopting children etc etc.
People are free to do what they like, and be treated nicely. But not a chance I'll be normalizing homosexual relationships to my kids. If they ask I say some people do that but it's something we don't agree with.end of story.if they say " I'll marry my same sex friend" I say you can't because he's also a boy for example. I don't say we hate all gays, I don't say that will burn in he'll I just say that's not something we agree with/ do.
No reason for name calling the OP , not a very good example of tolerance.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 11/02/2018 08:54

What of your kids is gay? It might be fine lying to them at 6 and telling them they can’t marry a boy but at some point they’re going to realise that you hate who they are.

And not agreeing with homosexual relationships or deciding it’s not something you ‘do’ Is homophobic. Just because you think you treat them nicely doesn’t change your underlying homophobic beliefs.

ItalianOne · 11/02/2018 09:19

Why would they realize I hate them when I Don't? Not agree with doesn't mean hate

catkind · 11/02/2018 09:39

There's certainly a risk they'll come to that conclusion italian if they've been brought up with you telling them that what they are doesn't exist or you disagree with it. Remember they'll know they're gay before you do. Possibly a very long time before if you take that approach.

But in the shorter term, imagine if one of their new classmates in reception has two dads and your DC tries to tell them they're lying because a boy can't marry a boy? Deliberately lying to your kids is just setting them up for a fall.

SuburbanRhonda · 11/02/2018 09:44

No reason for name calling the OP , not a very good example of tolerance.

Says the person who posted this:

But not a chance I'll be normalizing homosexual relationships to my kids.

BIWI · 11/02/2018 09:47

@ItalianOne

It isn't homophobic to disagree with gay relationships, or gay adopting children etc etc.

Yes it is.

seafooodplatter · 11/02/2018 10:07

It isn't homophobic to disagree with gay relationships, or gay adopting children etc etc.
People are free to do what they like, and be treated nicely. But not a chance I'll be normalizing homosexual relationships to my kids. If they ask I say some people do that but it's something we don't agree with.end of story.if they say " I'll marry my same sex friend" I say you can't because he's also a boy for example. I don't say we hate all gays, I don't say that will burn in he'll I just say that's not something we agree with/ do.
No reason for name calling the OP , not a very good example of tolerance.

It isn't homophobic to disagree with gay relationships, or gay adopting children etc etc.

It really is

But not a chance I'll be normalizing homosexual relationships to my kids.

This makes you homophobic.

if they say " I'll marry my same sex friend" I say you can't because he's also a boy for example. I don't say we hate all gays, I don't say that will burn in he'll I just say that's not something we agree with/ do.

I hope your kids do turn out to be gay. Then they will realise what a truly awful, small minded bigot they have for a parent.

No reason for name calling the OP , not a very good example of tolerance.

Who the fuck are you to lecture on tolerance? You sounded truly horrible.

HTH.

Aria2015 · 11/02/2018 10:10

I think it's a shame you feel this way. I'm teaching my toddler that relationships can come in all forms and by the time he's 7 I'm hoping he won't even need a lesson at school to tell him.

If you do take him out the talk, just be aware that his friends may talk about it after they attend and he could get second hand information in '7 year old speak' which could cause him confusion. He's better having it explained by an adult who can answer his questions properly.

MarklahMarklah · 11/02/2018 10:20

My 7 year old is already well aware of single-sex relationships as several of my friends are gay. So she knows that Sally has a wife, that Robert has a husband... It really is not an issue.
There are same-sex parents at her school, so it's pointless to ignore, anyway.
All they're talking about right now is that some people have husbands, some people have wives, some people are single, etc.

ljlkk · 11/02/2018 10:27

I hate this. Why have lessons in same sex relationships as if they're a "thing". They're not a "thing" it's just normal life in 2010s

OP is exactly why the lessons are a good thing. Her child won't be exposed to the concept, otherwise, that a loving couple is anything but male-female. OP & Her child don't have to approve, but they can accept that equality for such relationships is the decision of the society around them & not a threat to them. Little & often is a good way to learn to get to grips with weird ideas, so not too young.

yogaginrepeat · 11/02/2018 10:31

You don't agree with it and he's 7?!?! My 4 year old understands that love is love! You're doing him a serious disservice.
Haven't read through all the comments but is it because you're homophobic and worried he'll turn gay if he's informed loving relationships can occur in same sex relationships Hmm?

headinhands · 11/02/2018 10:38

I think it should be taught later in yr 4 or 5, when kids have a better understanding of relationships.

When your dc's were little did you pretend you were single or just friends with your partner? Of course not. Why is it okay for small kids to see and know about hetero relationships? You're making it more complicated. It's not.

headinhands · 11/02/2018 10:39

I think it should be taught later in yr 4 or 5, when kids have a better understanding of relationships.

And same sex couples have kids. So their kids know about same sex relationships from the 'get go' years before you think they should know. So you think that's bad right?

headinhands · 11/02/2018 10:47

'They aren't taking them to a live sex show'

Grin
Ragusa · 11/02/2018 10:55

@italianone but parents will still be the principal moral educators of their children.

Have you considered how your child might feel if they do grow up gaya and we'll aware you consider this morally wrong? I cannot get my head around "oh we love the gays but hate what they do". I know people say similar when kids are being naughty ie "I don't agree with that behaviour but I love you", but the crucial difference is this behaviour is modifiable. Sexuality is only modifiable if you deny yourself a partnership and sex life for ever. Which doesn't seem reasonable. Would God really want someone to be without a life partner and sexuality??

DangerMouse17 · 11/02/2018 11:06

OP you are quite within your right to have an opinion and not agree with same-sex relationships (I wouldn't call you homaphobic as I think it's a ridiculous term anyway....people don't FEAR gay people, they just may not agree with it and fair enough)

However, regardless of your personal opinion your child will be part of a society that sees this sort of relationship as the norm - and they will need to deal with it and tolerate it. If they are not taught to respect and tolerate this early on then it will be to their detriment. Better to get it over and done with! Wink

BIWI · 11/02/2018 14:05

homophobia
NOUN

mass noun
Dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people

Hope that helps clear things up.

headinhands · 11/02/2018 16:45

The thing is, about saying you think being gay is wrong, is that all you can cite is that it's against your religion, no logic, no reason, and there is no logic or reason. You're just saying it's wrong because you think your god says it's wrong. That's not morality.

Morality takes into account if something causes harm. Your position isn't about morality. And like Tracie Harris puts it, it's no more thought out than a dog not jumping up on the sofa because it's owner shouts at it when it does.

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