3+ 4+ 5+ 7+ support thread 2018

[mumteacher]

In previous years I have started these threads to help and support all those involved in the independent school admissions process.

I wasn't going to start one this year as I know I would not be able to check back on it as regularly as I would like, which then defeats the purpose of the thread.

However, after numerous positive PM's about the threads I think it would be a shame not to start one where at least the hand holding can continue.

There are many many people who have been through the process and 'live to tell the tale' . There are also other tutors I know who read this thread and it would be great if you all could help and support and share your ideas👏🏼

(Roll on 2018!) 😉

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/2783435-3-4-5-7-support-thread-2017

This is an interesting thread. I keep having adverts for NLCS come up on FB. I wonder why they advertise? It doesn’t sound as though they’re short of applicants.

@crucru I don’t think it’s a shortage of applicants but rather casting their net wider geographically to give them an even bigger pool to select the strongest girls. Good marketing I’d say. It seems, from this thread, people are up for relocating for their desired school

Gosh - shocked that it’s even legal for a school to state that they’d ask a child found to be dyslexic to leave. What a terrible culture that must breed, where parents might live in fear of revealing that their DC has dyslexia. After all, it’s said to be 1 in 10 people who have it (pls don’t quote me - I heard or read that somewhere) and dyslexia has absolutely no bearing on intelligence.

Isn’t there a Code of Practice making such discrimination illegal! (There is). Who’d want to be in such an environment. Uuugh!

I agree re PE lessons being a revealing insight into dyspraxic traits - but I also think they’re fantastic environments to see how well a DC can listen to and follow instructions in a less physically structured environment with different acoustics and a less predictable routine. Throw a bit of teamwork in there too and you have a wonderfully holistic picture of a DC’s abilities and needs!

I really think that these assessments are so well thought through, in general. Schools are like individuals - each with its own ‘personality’. It’s about finding a good fit, isn’t it.

um...the gym lesson is part of simulating a normal school day at 7+. Participate, cooperate, work as a team. They also eat lunch in the dining hall- not looking for eating disorders- just can they ask for what they want and eat with cutlery.

@nlcsparent Spot on-- know very well this "miracle" you speak of . It's tedious. It's in every school in the selective system though.

Hi all, can I ask whether the 4+ assessments at NLCS, Habs and Channing are usually held in the morning only, or also in the afternoon? Thanks.

@NLondonMummy assessments are held through your the day I.e during the morning and afternoon.

@nlondonmummy depends on your daughters month of birth - generally the 3 schools you mention :

Spring summer get morning slots
Winter mid morning/ lunch time
Autumn afternoon

My DD is a winter baby, she got a morning slot (9:30) at one, lunch time for the other 2 (12:30).

@Ras2 and @Fitnessfanatic108 -- thank you.

Also when are references usually requested from nurseries? Once an offer has been made and accepted, or are offers subject to successful references beforehand? Thanks again.

I don't entirely agree about inclusivity. NLCS is very much an academic results orientated school, they also do not want to have children that are going to have additional needs when compared to the wider population. This is pretty much evident through the assessments approach where second round looks at physical co-ordination etc.

I also know that parents like to sit on a high horse that their child is the bees-knees and most want to go to parent-teacher meetings with a view that there will only be positive feedback. Children require a lot of nurturing, some need more attention than others to ultimately be a polished diamond. Education is also such a LONG race, challenges at age 6 are a bit easier than when the crucial years (say age 14 onwards) begin and have a say on university/future plans. I cannot say I have seen the pastoral care that is individualised, most schools want children to be at a level playing field both academically and socially. Parents are also nosy, so if say one child's parent has been called in after school a few times, then rumours do float about...raising children is hard enough, makes it that much more difficult when you have to deal with judgemental parents. Some of the mums (not sure why they bother sending their girls to selective schools) ultimately look down upon 'working' mums! This is definitely a known problem in NLCS First School.

And for the record, I do not think completing Kumon worksheets or going to Leaders are readers is FUN! If anything, it is the exact opposite of it. Yes, we all want our kids to be successful but does it really matter if the child is NOT number 1 in the class at age 6 vs. when they are 14 years old vs. when they are 18 and looking at university choices vs. when they are 27 and actually doing something meaningful in life.

Many of the ex-NLCS students have gone on to become housewives or teachers (a judgemental parent would say, is that all you could really bother achieving after having your parents pay close to 20K a year?)

Hi NLCS Parent, the way I see it, those are good problems to have. Maybe these particular selectives start at too young an age, 3/4 is ridiculous. But at 7, it is fairly obvious.

We are new to selective schools, having just been accepted from a mixed ability school. But mixed ability schools have their own baggage. They are ruled by the lowest common denominator, which means your kid would be covering stuff that they are a year ahead of in terms of intellectual development. It is a shame, really. Being a bright kid is almost a curse in such an environment.

We are signing up for an environment with more work, more reading, more maths, more hobbies, more sports. Because we have none of those things right now, we get a single sheet of paper as homework that the kid rocks through in ten minutes. And that puts a lot of pressure on two working parents to provide more intellectual stimulation at home. I am not saying we should not have to do that, but I do wish the school did more. Hopefully a selective school is one that caters to that need.

OK, I see the problem. Thanks for sharing!

nlcsparent- did you mean to be racist? I know many 'Patels and Shahs' as you call them who are not as you describe and I think your generalisation is offensive.

nlcsparent I could not agree with you more. The pressure to be the best at the best school means that many NLCS parents will stop at nothing to achieve this and at what cost. It’s a bit gentler at Habs although many of the girls will have at least. Maths, English and science tutor at GCSE and will have their A level tutors lined up before they get their GCSE results. Anyone who thinks differently is kidding themselves. Some children will thrive naturally in that environment and do amazingly without extra help. For others it’s the keeping up and excelling at all costs which is more worrying.

Hi new to this thread,

what is the consensus on applying to HABS and NLCS for 4+ if your child will be at another selective school nursery ( a 3 to 18)

Do the 2 mentioned above ask for reports in advance and will the selective school nursery then weed us out for applying for 4+?

is it better to turn the nursery place and risk all at 4+ for the two above?

confused and confused

thanks for any advice

@4plusmummy depends which through - school you’re at. Some schools don’t mind, others do.

Both nlcs and habs request references for 4+ around Nov / Dec

@NLondonMummy Channing, Grimsdell and NLCS requested references from our nursery before the assessments took place.

@4plusmummy — hi there, I assume our daughters have been offered a place at the same selective 3-18 school and we too are in exactly the same dilemma. We are totally confused now. A bit surprised this “obligation” wasn’t mentioned beforehand at the time of application...

Revisited this thread after a few days and just wanted to say I don't recognise the school @nlcsparent represents which sounds HORRIFIC. The individual claims to be a parent at NLCS but to summarise their view is/includes:

• a "categoric" statement that tutoring is "definitely a norm"
• *@nlcsparent* talks about "activities" and "events" as evidence and meeting parents at such events which means, I assume, they also have their kids partake
• fellow parents are "covertly competitive or in your face competitive", "secretive", "nosy" and "not one can be trusted". They gossip and are "judgemental". They "sit on their high horses" and only want to hear "positive feedback". One of the "known problems" at NLCS First School

is some of these mums (apparently not content at being all those nice things above) also "look down upon 'working' mums". What a bunch they must be!

• teachers are a "mixed bag"
• there is no "individualised" pastoral care
• the kids are "a mixed bunch", and some of the kids are "not so [nice]"
• the success your child will have at the school apparently largely "depends what you do with your child outside of school"
• the school is discriminatory (my word) and they "do not want to have children that are going to have additional needs when compared to the wider population"
• on inclusivity they don't "entirely agree" (should be grateful for that I suppose) that NLCS is doing a good job in making for an inclusive environment as @hoverparent had the audacity to suggest
• education is apparently a "race" and a "LONG" one at that
• being number 1 in the class is important "when they are 14 years old," "when they are 18 and looking at university choices" and "when they are 27 and actually doing something meaningful in life" but is NOT important at 6 (which I think we will all agree is a relief)
• "many" of the ex-NLCS students have gone on to become housewives or teachers and some (not *@nlcsparent* I hasten to add) might ask "is that all you could really bother achieving after having your parents pay close to 20K a year?"

One might ask why @nlcsparent remains a parent at the school...

@NLondonmummy
Yes it does sound like the same one. We are too and not sure what to do? I wanted to understand if other people have made the move successfully or conversely if they tried and were unsuccessful did the school hold it against you/DD?and what did you do?

Welcome other people's opinions? Bad idea?

Thanks for summing up, YoungPadawan. I've made lovely friends of parents in both of my DDs years. Fortunately, I have never met anyone as negative as nlcsparent in RL. I hope prospective parents recognise that she/he is in a minority of one.

Does anyone know when you are notified if your son has Habs boys 5+ second round

@FrankWelker

21st Feb...