Reception age child won't eat his free meal

[feral]

My 4yo ds started reception and has been coming home starving but telling me he likes his lunch.

Teacher now telling me he's refusing to try anything he doesn't like the look of and hardly eating anything. Therefore they want me to give him a packed lunch.

I plan to talk to him and I'm giving him the rest of this week -

• does anyone have any.l suggestions on how to get an already fussy vegetarian child to try what's on offer when I'm not even present to encourage?

And please don't say 'let him eat meat' because he knows he can try it if he wants to but even if he wasn't saying he didn't want to eat meat he wouldn't try it as it's new.

I'm at a loss!

Can you find out what is on the menu and prepare similar food for him to eat at home with you when you can try to persuade him to try something new?

you would have thought being with other children would encourage him.
why dont you try a packed lunch two days a week in order to encourage him?
do they have a vegetarian menu?

Starting reception is stressful enough for a 4yo. Give him a packed lunch and let him decide when he is ready to consider school meals.

Send a packed lunch, give him a few months to settle and then talk to him about trying dinners again

Can you tell him that he will get a packed lunch every Friday if he eats Mon-Thur?

At 4, he is also old enough to understand money is limited, so making a lunch when there is one already available takes money out of the "fun" pot, since few families have surplus money knocking about; so fewer toys and days out.

Give him a packed lunch? Mine won't eat the food either.. A packed lunch costs pennies and it's far better for them to be fed!

Mine are jacket potato every day for the first term. In term 2 the teacher cracked down (with my approval!) that they could only have it twice a week. They now don't even have it once a week.

It's early days and a lot to get used to - I'd persevere for a couple of weeks.

Thanks everyone.

It's not about the money of providing a lunch it's more that I want him to eat what he's given. Also that I was hoping he'd get a hot meal at school and have sandwiches in the evening. Oh well.

He was so good at nursery! Are whatever they gave him.

I'll have to see how he goes today, have a talk with him without suggesting a packed lunch is an alternative option, then see how he goes tomorrow then go from there.

They do provide veggie food but cos it changes every day it's so hit and miss with mister fusspot.

a friend of dd used to have jacket potatoes every day. can he chose those?

Mine did this. Ate his lunch pretty much fine at nursery for years, just would not get on with school dinners in reception. I made him keep going til Oct half term but he still just wasn't eating any of it so I cracked and switched to packed lunch.

As a point of principle, I regularly add things to his lunch he isn't keen on or hasn't tried before, because I want him to still learn about (mostly) eating what is given and not thinking every meal is a cafe with a range of options on the menu. We're also vegetarian, so it's important to me that he doesn't become a fussy eater as that just limits things too much - meals out, visiting friends etc.

Mine tried it because he thought packed lunch would mean the blueberry- babybel- lovely wrap bonanza I pack for the few special occasions, such as school trips.

When he realised it would be a daily brown bread cheese sandwich and an apple, same as mine, he decided school dinners are perfectly edible after all.

It might not just be the choice of food. My DS hardly ate anything at primary school as he was completely put off by the other DC eating with their mouths open etc. I used to make the tiniest packed lunch I could get away with and he would take a little bite and leave as much as he could get away with. I'd just feed him the minute he got home then later in the day a reasonable snack. He's 15 now. He's getting better with food but if we eat out he prefers to sit with his back to other diners in the restaurant and just face his family. He's quite sensitive with food. Some people are.

It will become familiar food eventually as it's a 3 week cycle in most places and they tend to do roast on a particular day, and fish on a day.

Would school allow him to have a packed lunch but look and see if there is any part of the hot meal he likes each day.

Do they send home menus? Or are they on the website?

Ours encouraged us to sit down with our YR DS and talk about what they were going to eat. Where it was a name they didn't recognise (e.g. "gammon") we would explain that it was like bacon which we eat at home so he would like it. They always have a fish option on a Friday but it is named three ways (goujons/battered/fingers I think) which is confusing for a 4yo.

Ours also offer "school packed lunch" once a week so they are eating from the canteen menu but a more familiar food.

I also agree with cooking things that they will see at school, at home.

Most schools seem to offer jacket potato at least once a week so maybe start with that - send packed lunch the other days and agree he'll try baked potato on that day? Or spaghetti (our YR teacher says she loves them trying to say that, so make their day!), pizza?

Good advice thank you.

There is a menu on a 3 week rota so will suss out which week he is on and tell him what he's supposed to have that day, ask teacher who eats with them to encourage this and offer him his reward star for eating all his lunch.

If he then eats on certain days / certain foods I can maybe do packed lunch that day. Gonna email them now and ask for a couple of mins with teacher to discuss. I don't want to give up right away but obvs I won't leave him hungry forever.

As pp said he'll be disappointed with his cheese sandwich and apple every day!

My son is quite difficult with eating, but after two weeks at school he began to eat a few things. He is still reluctant to try, but does sometimes try new things such as cos cos at school. We just told the teachers to keep trying. They were wondering how the heck do I get him to eat at home. I explained he is a difficult eater, but he does eat a variety of limited food such as - meatballs, beef burgers, roast chicken, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, pasta, broccoli, cashews, steak , bread and cheese etc. But there are a lot of things he won't eat. Such as rice, potatoes (unless its french fries!) and fish (unless fish sticks). Let the teachers know what he eats and see if they can try to encourage on the days those things are served. A lot of kids do not eat much the first couple weeks while settling in and then they start to eat a little more. I always come to school with loads of snacks because both my children are starving at pick up. Lunch is at 11:30am so of course they will be so hungry at pick up.

Vege meals at school can be pretty bad.lots of cheese and quorn

I'd let him.have a packed lunch. Can be much more varied.

Hi op, I would be tempted to give him a healthy paced lunch of his choice for school.

You have two issues here , one is his hunger in the afternoon and the other his relucatance to try new foods. You can solve one problem immediately. The other will take time and patience.

Wrt trying new foods do his school have a "fun with food club" or similar? If you don't know please have a word with the sendco. Also it's probably brier for him to try new foods at home rather than in the stressful environment of a busy lunch hall - again a sendco will probably have strategies to suggest.

It's a tricky one as obviously lunchtimes are great for variety but they're also rather scary for the kid with food issues and you could potentially make his new food aversion worse if you don't step back a bit on the issue and break it down.

Good luck op

Have a look at the menu and tell him he's allowed 2 packed lunches a week - then he can have them on the days he likes the look of least.

Tbh if money isn't an issue though I'd be tempted to just send packed lunch. Sandwiches in the evening probably aren't going to cut it anyway (he will be starving after a day at school) and in winter it's nice to eat a hot meal when you're coming home in the dark. As an adult I wouldn't want to just eat what I'm given - obviously if I go to a friend's for dinner I do but it's usually cooked to be universally appealing or with me in mind.

A fussy veggie probably would be better off with a packed lunch tbh. Our catering company's menus are usually a bit dire. Lots of grated cheddar and baked potatoes.

Mine aren't fussy eaters at all and won't touch school meals. Having seen them at my school can't say I blame them if they're anything like those! My pack ups are fab though!

Oh another thing - if you have this - at my DS' school there's a school breakfast option in the dinner hall, with parents. One little girl's mum was taking her to that to get her used to eating in the hall before switching her to school lunches (packed lunches were eaten in the classroom).

My ds has 3 or 4 packed lunches a week and dd was the same in reception. Why force them to eat school dinners when you can give them an alternative.

I assume this is the universal fsm and you can afford a packed lunch.