Huge regret moving primary school

[Lucia77]

Hi there, I'm struggling big time although it's 8 months on. I moved my son for now looking back all the wrong reasons, he was my first child to go to school and I was so silly to make the move. He was fine about moving schools..went for a look round..still fine. Started...and he was very upset wanting to go back. But he couldn't his old school was full. I knew instantly I had made a wrong choice, everything felt so wrong.
His old school is a fantastic school but it's took this horrible move for me to realise, he had wonderful friends and there is nothing more I've wanted (or thought about) than him to go back.
Just before the summer holiday spaces became available for him and his brother (to begin reception) my son was by then settled, he said he didn't want to move. I was gutted! This is what I had been waiting for. The stress and upset I put him through I couldn't do again although I knew deep down this other school is the best for them in the long run. I didn't accept the places I couldn't face him being upset for another day of his life for this 'school mess up'

Now it's the new school year I feel sick daily again, I've developed terrible anxiety, I still think about this all the time, I haven't moved into a home opposite the old school as I can't face being so close to the school that I know is right for my family. I speak and see friends from the old school and I feel so sad everytime. I know how silly I'm being but I cannot get this out of my head, I keep thinking to put him and his brother back on the waiting list but is there any point? I think I may go crazy if he doesn't go back, I overly worry about anything negative they say about their school I beat myself up constantly for the past and future. For my health I think I need to move him back (he has lots of friends still at the school and the teachers are completely wonderful I know he would love being back there it's just the move I don't think he wants to go through again and he has a small group of close friends who do make him happy) I know I have made this go way out of proportion but I think I will go insane if I don't have others input on this. Thank you for reading my essay. And I know this isn't a big issue in life, but no matter how many times I tell myself this it keeps haunting me. 6 more years at the school, my boys will no longer be 'boys' i think this is really precious time.

Interested to see the outcome of this thread - did you move them back?

OP I really feel for you. We did a very similar thing with our DD. She moved back to the original school and the sense of relief all around is huge. It was a hideous time and despite being a fairly pragmatic character I felt like a huge cloud was hanging over me at having made such an enormous mistake with my child’s happiness.

I really feel for you OP.

I moved my Ds in Y2 and it’s honestly one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. Sleepless nights wondering if it was the right decision.

In our case it absolutely was and I have no regrets. We chose a much larger primary.

Ds is now in Y6 and there hasn’t been a moment where I’ve wanted him to move back. My heart does go out to you though because you’re in a position of feeling that you’ve made the wrong decision, which must absolutely cause you great anxiety.

What year is you oldest Ds in?

Thank you for being so understanding GentleJones and others. No I didn't take the place but I definately should have looking back both the other two would now of had a place. I have now put my eldest down to start the junior school in September still unsure to move my little one now or wait until brother hopefully goes.
Raaaah was your child at the new school for very long?

Aww this post has made me a little sad and made me worried about my decision (I've been googling 'changing schools' all day.
I've taken the decision to move my daughter from her lovely infant school to a primary that is further way (and we have to drive)
My main reason being that in at end of year 2 she will transfer to a junior school which is very poor and we don't want her to go there and I am also applying for DD2 for September 2019. So the timing is right as the new school had a space and I'm sure will be full very quickly as it has just expanded and is a popular school.
I'm worried about what will happen, will she make friends, will I, will she miss her old school. She is a very confident outgoing file so I'm glad we have that but I'm worried the change may affect that. I guess time will tell but my heart breaks thinking I may be making the wrong choice (although I have no idea what we would do in 2 years trying for find a school for both children) schools are very oversubscribed here.

Find ways to support his learning. Provide assistance with homework (be careful here) read to him frequently, encourage him to complete any work immediately. Ask him what happened in school today. Stop thinking about this. Don’t make unwise decisions.

This is obviously a good school or he would be unhappy and you would know. Please do something about your anxiety issues too. Start seeing a therapist in your area (ask your GP for a referral). They should be able to help you cope with this.

Given your circumstance it sounds like a very good plan. Her circle of friends will only expand.

Hi - I'm wondering what you decided to do in the end? It's been longer than 6 years since you posted. How did it all pan out? I ask because I'm in exactly the same situation. I literally could have written everything you said myself.