Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Dd and wrong after school group.

26 replies

soontobemrsmckeown · 19/09/2017 11:56

My dd is 5 and the last two weeks has come home from school stating she's been in the wrong group. I've mentioned it to the school twice and they assured me it was sorted last week. This week the same happend. Dd not happy she's not in the group she chose so I mentioned my annoyance about this to the school. She came home last week saying she hadn't had dinner after a full morning of looking into it she did just didn't eat any as she didn't like it. They have told me not to believe everything my 5 year old says as she lies. And I'm to stop being so annoyed and asking about my home life. Would I be unreasonable to kick off that's she's not been in the right afterschool group for 2 weeks and that they have a don't care attitude to it. Do they have a right to ask about my home life when it's them that's causing the issues I'm complaining about. And can they refuse to give my daughter a place in any further afterschool groups?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

user789653241 · 19/09/2017 12:07

What do you mean by wrong after school club? Are you talking about school run activity clubs after school?
If so, at my ds's school you don't always get your first choice. You apply for board game club as a first choice and lego club for second, but you may get lego club. Is that a case, that she thinks she should be in her first choice, but given 2nd/3rd choice instead?

For lunch, if your dd chose not to eat because she doesn't like it, not much they can do about it, I assume.

Sirzy · 19/09/2017 12:13

What do you mean wrong group?

They can't force feed her - if it becomes a regular problem maybe send a packed lunch?

Original poster

soontobemrsmckeown · 19/09/2017 12:13

I put her top clubs down and got told she got her 1st and 2nd choice- gym and creative arts. Gym gym been fine but she's been put in yoga instead of arts told she would definitely be in arts this week but was in yoga again.

OP posts:

Original poster

soontobemrsmckeown · 19/09/2017 12:15

Food took them a full morning as they could not account for her being in the lunch hall at all that day. That in it's self to me is a safe guarding issue as they do a register on entry to dinner hall and she wasn't marked off on it.

OP posts:

PoppyPopcorn · 19/09/2017 12:15

So she's not in the "wrong group", she's just in a group she didn't pick as top choice. There's obviously a breakdown in communication somewhere. If you don't want her to do yoga, just pick her up from school.

You are making this out to he a FAR bigger drama than it is.

Original poster

soontobemrsmckeown · 19/09/2017 12:16

Yoga was her 5th choice. Not even a confusion over 2nd and 3rd.

OP posts:

PerfectlyPooPoo · 19/09/2017 12:17

I definitely would be making sure she's in the group you paid for.

Lunch, well this is why DD1 takes a packed lunch as she hated the school dinners and I couldn't be sure she'd eat during the day otherwise.

And saying not to believe your 5 yo as she lies, I would not be happy with that comment at all! They don't lie, they just don't see all the picture and focus on things that aren't necessary what you need to know.

Sounds like a rather shit school tbh.

Sirzy · 19/09/2017 12:17

I have never heard of a school doing a register on entry to the hall (and I have worked in plenty of schools) that certainly isn't a safeguarding issue.

as for the club, if she doesn't want to do yoga then pick her up that day and hope she gets in the other club next time.

School is going to be very tough if you get wound up over such little things!

Original poster

soontobemrsmckeown · 19/09/2017 12:17

I was given a written letter stating she was in gym and arts and I pay for these clubs £5 per week so if it's miss communication I should be offered the money back for the group she's not ment to be in.

OP posts:

user789653241 · 19/09/2017 12:18

Why didn't she tell the adult in charge at the beginning of the club? Then it's simple enough for them to send her to the right group.
If she knows she should be doing art not yoga, I assume she would be able to tell someone?

Original poster

soontobemrsmckeown · 19/09/2017 12:21

She said that she did tell them but they would not take her to the right group. They have basically in my opinion got my dd and another child mixed up but the other child is enjoying the arts group and the mum isn't complaining as it's a more expensive group than yoga. Yoga is £2.50 a week. Arts is 5.00 a week

OP posts:

RedSkyAtNight · 19/09/2017 12:23

Agree - your daughter just says "I should be in art, not yoga" and they move her. If you think she won't be able to speak up, send a note saying the same thing for her to show the teacher after school.

A 5 year old doing yoga instead of art is really not a huge drama.

PoppyPopcorn · 19/09/2017 12:24

So phone the school and sort it out. No need to "kick off". And if your DD knows where she should, make sure she goes.

Drama, drama, drama. In the time you've posted on here you could have phoned school and had a chat about it like a grown up.

Original poster

soontobemrsmckeown · 19/09/2017 12:26

Is when the group I paid for costs double a week than yoga. And when you child actually asked for a arts group and they have created it as it got a good vote level on it.

OP posts:

ceeveebee · 19/09/2017 12:30

Call the Daily Mail - they'd love that headline "CHILD FORCED INTO DOING YOGA". It's an absolute outrage

user789653241 · 19/09/2017 12:30

Doesn't doing yoga involve getting changed? It would look odd if she is the only one in uniform, while everyone else is in pe kit?

DPotter · 19/09/2017 12:33

I know it could be a pain, but can you go into the after school club and check where she is to get it sorted? Often the school and after school staff are different and messages sometimes don't get through as clearly. Failing that ask for the number of the senior member of staff for the after school club and call them.
As for lunch I have also never heard of schools taking a register for lunch so its not necessarily a safeguarding issue. School isn't like a nursery, children are expected to be a little more independent. Gone are the days when children were expected to eat everything presented to them for lunch, irrespective of whether they liked it or not - thank god. School lunches don't suit every child and missing one meal isn't the end of the world, however annoying.

itsascandal23 · 19/09/2017 12:36

It is always unreasonable and counter productive to "kick off".

Schools can make mistakes when dealing with large numbers of children. You doubtless make mistakes too from time to time.

Tackle the issue like a grown up.
E mail the school outlining the problem.
Send in a note with your child with a copy of the confirmation for the art class and a copy of your email and tell her to give it to the teacher sending her to Yoga.

Smartiepants79 · 19/09/2017 15:03

Calmly but firmly inform school that she has been sent to the wrong club twice, that you expect it do be sorted by next week ro she will no longer be attending and you will expect your money back. They should have a register for each club so this is not good practice. At the end of the day though I presume these clubs are being run by teaching staff ( they will not be being paid for the time they are giving up) and maybe you could cut them some slack. If you're not happy she doesn't have to go.
The lunch thing - she did tell you fib. Why? What did she hope was going to happen from there. School will start to find it hard to believe what she is saying if she starts making up stories.
And yes, school can enquire about your home life if they have concerns about your child. It is part of their duty of care. You don't have to answer but in my experience the more honest you are the better they are able to provide for your child.

Liadain · 19/09/2017 21:01

That's an impressive mountain you're building out of this molehill.

Just send a note next week saying she's meant to be in arts&crafts. Not a big drama and I can't imagine that the school particularly care.

Lifechallenges · 20/09/2017 08:05

Just email the school and ask that she's put on correct after school club register. Our school has 90 DC in each year so expect the kids to speak up if they are in the wrong line for something. You are lucky that school offer clubs as many don't as it can be a hassle for the school.
She should just tell the teacher that she should be in arts not yoga.
I know DC that went to the wrong club / afterschool on purpose at that age as they didn't want to go where they were supposed to. A friend of mine had a 5 old who would regularly join the afterschool care line and tell them he was going there as he wanted to play with his mates in wrap round care. Schools have to deal with that to.

The lunches - No register for lunch here and yes DC lie about what they eat some times. They do line up the class and walk them to the canteen in one go. I don't even ask mine as they can't recall what they ate. If you want to monitor what she eats at school, a pack lunch would be better and they normally send home uneaten food.

dameofdilemma · 20/09/2017 08:43

Schools make mistakes - they're not corporations with proper admin resources. Just speak to them calmly.

Dd starts every term being trotted off to the wrong ASC (or taken to one when she should be going home). I just email the school (as a working parent I don't get the chance to speak to them, the phones are rarely answered and even then the 'right' person is rarely around).

You just have to adjust your expectations.

Runningwater · 20/09/2017 08:57

It's not a safeguarding issue to not be able to account for a child being in the dinner hall. At five they will be pretty much herded in there but no register will be taken.

If she's not eating what's on offer and you are worried then send a pack lunch. They will encourage her to choose something and eat but they won't force feed her. From experience staff are around and most often sit with the littlest ones.

In regards to lying it's not so much that they lie but my teen works with five year olds and they make up brilliant stories about not being fed, being in the pub, having a pet unicorn, climbing over a rainbow etc. They will swear they haven't been or done something or had their turn or their cake when you know they have.

They will choose to go to the wrong place because little Chloe who is their best friend goes there and then claim it wasn't their mistake.

Mine told me the teacher had said I was crazy at that age...

Seriously have a word with the teacher. Tell them you paid for club x and she's going to club y.

Tell them you are worried she isn't eating and can they keep an eye on it.

You might find she's choosing to go to yoga because her friend does or something.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 21/09/2017 16:37

I've volunteered and worked (still work) in schools and the only time I've ever known a register to be taken in the dining hall is when we had an issue where too many meals were being taken and I stood and checked off each child who was supposed to have a meal to find out who was having a packed lunch AND a meal without paying.

Unfortunately schools do experience children misleading their parents a lot! Last year I was thoroughly told off my a mother as her son told her I'd taken him to hospital in my car! He had actually sat on the sofa in our waiting area while I cleaned and dressed his knee, he had then gone back to class, I left a message for Mum on her voicemail and he had an incident note but he convinced his Mum that I'd taken him (alone) in my car to hospital! We also had a child tell her Mum that they have bacon sandwiches at breaktime if they are good - we are a pork free school and our cooks wouldn't have the time for an extra meal!

I think OP needs to go to the school in person and find out what is genuinely happening with the clubs. Only one club at a time runs in my school so maybe the days have been muddled?

elkiedee · 22/09/2017 10:20

I would have an issue with school telling my my child was lying, and I don't think OP is overreacting on that. If there are too many in the arts club then they should explain the situation and give you the money back.

As for lunch, I would hope she eats lunch some/most days or go for packed lunch. I had lots of trouble at primary aged around 7 with teachers trying to coerce me to eat. I would have been happier if hungrier just being left to it. I was a very stubborn kid.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread