Sports Day - HT called our children spoilt babies

[wibblypig1]

Hope someone can advise as I'm really cross.

DS1 yr2 - school sports day last week. It was loads of hanging around, everyone was getting bored and tired. One race, then a delay, one more race - delay - it took hours to get through everything. The usual PTA members kids won loads of medals each - some 3 gold medals per child, whilst my DS (who isn't competitive or particularly athletic/sporty) won nothing.
The next day, HT took assembly. Asked all kids to stand up who didn't win anything. My DS stood up with a handful of others, mainly reception kids.
They were told to stay standing up if they'd cried at not winning. I can't make out if he stayed standing or not. The HT then toldvthose standing up that they were nothing but babies and acted very spoilt.

Is it just me or was this totally unnecessary?

There's loads of nepotism in the school, the same kids in the newsletter winning awards for "most caring" and getting photos of them on the classroom windows, the best parts in plays etc - all PTA kids or TA's kids. It's really got me cross. Please help me reason this out. DS bust a gut and was so sad at not winning (we'd told him there would be no negative repercussions - now I feel like I've been made out to be a liar).

There is a strong culture of nepotism in the school, as confirmed by mothers of older kids.

Can you change schools?

I'd want clarification from a member of staff that this happened first. Then if it is true, I'd take it further.

Did the PTA dope their kids?
Happened at my dd school one year. True dat.

I'd lay off the PTA conspiracy theories so that your genuine complaint about the HT's behaviour will be taken seriously by the Governors.

But definitely make a complaint. That's seriously shoddy - does he think he's running a 1950's boarding school?

the website is really slow refreshing for me tonight, sorry for the asynchronous posts.

Based on posts of 21:20 and 21:23, I think I'd speak to the class teacher and say that a Y6 child had told you, and other children (not your DS) had corroborated, xxxx - was the teacher also in the assembly and was that their memory of the incident?

Then either write to the HT and cc the chair of governors, or go straight to the governors. The reason that I mentioned the policy earlier, though, is that I have experience (not direct, but through work) of a similar-sounding HT, who had a very friendly relationship with the chair of govs. The initial letter to the chair of govs elicited the frosty response that the school had a formal complaints procedure, and that the chair of govs would only deal with complaints when earlier stages had been followed and exhausted.

I would be so angry at this - though such a thing would never in a billion years happen at DD's school, there's no medals, just kids in teams doing their best and having a lot of fun.

Is this what the school is like in general? It sounds utterly ghastly.

Letters to board of governors, and LEA next if applicable.

Some people imply shouldn't be involved in primary education. Where's the kindness, nurturing and inclusivity?

Definitely - first clarify then take it further. If the governors don't give you a very strong response I would go to ofsted and/or the media over this, actually. It's a truly dreadful approach to children, to their confidence, to their feelings about sport and activity and to their sense of empowerment. Do tell your ds that he is acting like a bully, and we must not let bullies get to us.

it ieasy to engineer winning races if they are running in groups. pta kid put in a group of the slowest kids they are likely to win.

My kids used to win stuff at sports day. Because they were the fastest.

I did stuff for the PTA. Because no other fucker would, and y'know, the school needed textbooks.

Oh, and the thing about making the kids stand up if they lost and telling them they were spoilt if they cried sounds like utter bollox to me.

If it's true, OP, your kids are at a crap school. Full stop.

pta kid put in a group of the slowest kids they are likely to win.

Oh ffs, that's bloody ridiculous. You're seriously suggesting that the teachers, when doing speed run-offs for sports day, thought, "I know, let's put Jimmy PTA in this group so he can win." What on EARTH would the rationale behind that be?
Do you think teachers are stupid? I couldn't even tell you which kids in my class have parents who are active on the committee. And if I did know, I couldn't give a stuff.

What on earth have the PTA got to do with sports day, anyway? Ours was completely organised by the staff, who, by and large, probably haven't a clue who's in the PTA and who isn't.

engineered PTA children winning races

Well, I watched as the Head stepped out in front of the kid beating her child into second place so HER kid won, for a few years in a row.
Another time her kid was to start a few yards ahead as she had 'a sore foot' etc. One time she just called her kid the winner though she was 2nd. She 'ran the village' basically.
It was the most blatant thing i've ever seen

The usual PTA members kids won loads of medals each - some 3 gold medals per child, whilst my DS (who isn't competitive or particularly athletic/sporty) won nothing.

OP, please re-read your sentence.

By all means do investigate the shaming of the kids, wrong on so many levels, but it really makes no sense whatsoever. If the winners have only won because of their parents, why shaming others who only lost because of their parents?

Do you live in Dibley, tenpoletudor?

I can believe anything when it comes to primary school sports day.

Ten years ago Dd won most races at her small primary school one sports day and the teacher kept giving the slips for first place to another girl......who was the TAs daughter. Adult friends of mine confirmed this, I was at work or I would have kicked up a fuss.

Though to be honest this was minor amongst all the blatant favouritism that was shown to this kid.

Thank you for those who have responded with supportive points, I am discussing with my Dp about what to do.

I will approach other parents to see what they've heard about it.

Sorry to those who don't think I have a point, does it not generally correlate that competitive, pushy parents might want to become the PTA members so they can be sure their child gets looked on favourably, and then produce competitive children? Is that difficult to think about, or turned on its head that my non competitive, non sporty child is the product of two non competitive, non althletic parents?

Not to mention the attention seeking, in-desperate-need-of-affirmation parents or teachers pet parents

I really don't know. None of the PTA members or reps in our school could be remotely called pushy. When I was a rep it didn't occur to me that it would make any difference to DD at all - but as I say, as the teachers aren't really involved with it, they wouldn't even know. But it's a very non-pushy, non-competitive school anyway. If the HT is as you say then I can see there could be an overall culture of pushiness.

does it not generally correlate that competitive, pushy parents might want to become the PTA members so they can be sure their child gets looked on favourably,

Nope. Not remotely. The PTA raises money for the school. It's hard work, pretty thankless, and very, very few people volunteer. As I say, I did it because no other fucker - like you - would.

River, the ones in our school MAKE themselves known.

Good to hear they're not all the same though...

I'm still not sure why you're surprised that your non athletic/sporty child didn't get medals at an athletic/sporty event. I mean, what were you expecting?

If, as you say, your child is non-sporty and non-competitive, I'm not sure why you would expect them to come first in a sports day race?

You haven't answered, by the way, OP - is this a state school?

It doesn't sound like a very pleasant environment. If this is simply one of a number of things you don't like about it, I would complain but also look to move schools. I can't imagine DD being at such a school.