Sports Day - HT called our children spoilt babies

[wibblypig1]

Hope someone can advise as I'm really cross.

DS1 yr2 - school sports day last week. It was loads of hanging around, everyone was getting bored and tired. One race, then a delay, one more race - delay - it took hours to get through everything. The usual PTA members kids won loads of medals each - some 3 gold medals per child, whilst my DS (who isn't competitive or particularly athletic/sporty) won nothing.
The next day, HT took assembly. Asked all kids to stand up who didn't win anything. My DS stood up with a handful of others, mainly reception kids.
They were told to stay standing up if they'd cried at not winning. I can't make out if he stayed standing or not. The HT then toldvthose standing up that they were nothing but babies and acted very spoilt.

Is it just me or was this totally unnecessary?

There's loads of nepotism in the school, the same kids in the newsletter winning awards for "most caring" and getting photos of them on the classroom windows, the best parts in plays etc - all PTA kids or TA's kids. It's really got me cross. Please help me reason this out. DS bust a gut and was so sad at not winning (we'd told him there would be no negative repercussions - now I feel like I've been made out to be a liar).

[Witchend]

Why are you complaining your non-athletic child didn't get a medal. Are you implying that if you were on the PTA then they'd have tied the others' shoe laces together to make sure he'd won?

Asked all kids to stand up who didn't win anything. My DS stood up with a handful of others, mainly reception kids this also doesn't ring true. Why would the majority of non-winners be in reception. Surely they'd have the same number of races, so likely to have the same number of medals and have similar number of non-winners.

[multivac]

Yeah, actually, this is all just toss, isn't it?

[GreyWalls]

I think people are missing the point a bit with regards to the PTA kids, I took that as more of a throwaway comment by I may be wrong? I think this needs to be confirmed with the teacher then definitely raised as an issue!

[wibblypig1]

Witchend - I think it was the majority of those who stayed standing when asked if they cried. Does that make more sense? Sorry if it was the wrong way round.

River, it's the first time it's really been noted or had a big impact tbh. I'm not sure what to do about it, but as most people have suggested, I will do some further digging but my fingers are itching to type a letter about it...

[thatdearoctopus]

I just do not believe there is a Head Teacher alive who would seriously ask everyone who effectively lost, to stand up in assembly to be identified. It makes no sense.

[wibblypig1]

Thanks Grey.

[thatdearoctopus]

my fingers are itching to type a letter about it...

Or, you know, you could ignore it and treat the whole ridiculous tale with the large pinch of salt it deserves.

[coddiwomple]

I just do not believe there is a Head Teacher alive who would seriously ask everyone who effectively lost, to stand up in assembly to be identified. It makes no sense.

especially if they only lost because their parents were not PTA, not because they lost a race. Really does not make sense at all.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

Why would the majority of non-winners be in reception.

'cos how else would the slow PTA kid in year 6 win a race unless they were put up against the reception kids?

[Lurkedforever1]

I don't see it happening like in the op, but I can see why something like it might have happened without the group humiliation.

I can think of loads of instances where either one dc or a small minority in a group have ruined, or tried to ruin, what should have been another child's moment out of jealousy. Whether that's crying, or attention seeking or snide comments. And in those instances it's perfectly fine for whoever is in charge to call them on it.

My guess is that something similar happened here, and the reception kids and making everyone stand who didn't win is embellished.

[elephantoverthehill]

Yes Lurked perhaps there was unsporting behaviour from a few of the children.

[stonecircle]

If I were in your shoes I wouldn't start firing off letters - you could end up looking pretty silly if the incident hasn't been accurately reported. What I would do though is ask to see the HT. Don't accuse her outright but say that you've heard some confusing and disturbing information from a number of sources and could she just clarify exactly what happened.

As others have said, stick to this incident - don't muddy the waters by airing pta grievances.

[BlackeyedSusan]

I know they group in sports day as dd was last, again, but this year she was last by a couple of feet rather than last by yards. She was with the slowest runners in the class. when you have watched several sports days with the same group of children you get a feel for the groupings.

and they practise for weeks before hand as part of PE

[mrz]

"does it not generally correlate that competitive, pushy parents might want to become the PTA members " not in the real world. PTA members tend to be those (usually mums) who are able to give time to support their child's school. As a teacher I haven't a clue who is in our "friends of the school" group so couldn't favour their child even if I was so inclined.

Your child by your own words isn't competitive or sporty ...that's why they didn't win anything nothing more.

[Strawberrybubblebath]

The answer is simple. It's staring you up n the face.
Join the PTA!
Your child will then be magically transformed into the teachers favourite, start winning all the awards in assembly and next year will win not one not two but three GOLD MEDALS.
One thing they don't tell you is if you become CHAIR of the PTA during your coronation (the part where the teachers bow down to you) a small part of your golden glow is passed on to your children meaning they never have to do homework again. This glow stays with them through the whole of their school career.
Also you might raise some desperately needed funds for the school.
Everyone's a winner.

[roundtable]

The PTA paid for coaching for their children to win the races out of PTA money. That's what I heard...

[flumpybear]

Bloody outrageous I'd definitely be complaining

[Sweetnessishere]

On the race winning, I understand in my DC sports day the races were seeded in year groups so that all the slow runners were in race 1, then the slightly better ones, this continued up to the 'elite' race for those that could run. I liked this system as it meant DC1 went in race 1 but didn't come miles last. With this system I am sure it would be possible to improve the chances of the PTA kids.

[pieceofpurplesky]

Strawberry

[Shockers]

I once spoke to a child on sports day for having a tantrum when he didn't win a race.

I told him gently that causing a big fuss was unfair on the person who won. I asked him how he'd feel if he'd won and somebody cried... or if he'd done well in maths, or art and someone had made it all about them.

I was a talk which lasted less than a minute.

His mother complained about me, because, "He only lost because he'd hurt his hamstring in an earlier race."

He often won races, but she wasn't on the PTFA; she preferred to let other people do the work.

Anyway, I digress. The headteacher's talk was probably about sportsmanship. Children, in my experience, often pick out part of what's said, therefore losing the context.

[tenpoletudor]

multivac
No. More like Royston Vasey
you are welcome to disbelieve me, but anyone from my village would know exactly who I am talking about.
There is often outrageous favouritism.
Whether it has happened here I dont know.

[user1497455653]

Oh my good god.

I would report this to everyone. Governors minimum!! Fuck, id even contact my local paper and ask if they was interested in hearing the story.

Fucking appalling. I'm not namy-pamby by any means with my parenting but I'm not bringing my kids up subjective to humiliation and shaming! This wouldn't be the school for me.

[stonecircle]

Oh my good god.

I would report this to everyone.

That would be very foolish. Always better to hear the other side of any story before you go in with all guns blazing and risk ending up with egg on your face (excuse mixed metaphors). Speak to the HT, in a non-confrontational manner, to get to the bottom of what happened.

[BattleaxeGalactica]

I'd be amazed if this had happened the way it's been reported to you, OP.

Speak to the class teacher or the head calmly and neutrally.