Hello all,
I am very new to posting and on the site, I do often do google searching and always come on here for advice, tips etc.
So, about me, I have one daughter she is the youngest in her class. So she is getting ready this September for 'big school' is she ready, yes she is, are her parents - hell no!
Last year we were talked to about SAT's I am very lucky to have lots of friends that are teachers, tutors etc so I do know how unimportant the SAT's are in terms of where they take your child their words not mine...so I do feel very strongly about this issue.
My daughter is bright, she tries her best in everything she does and boy did she try her best in these SAT's.
On parents evening we were told she aced at everything apart from Maths so we got a tutor who is a maths professor and was wonderful, and he did tell us that SAT's this year would be harder.
My daughter did not pass the mark, and we decided to tell her different.
We felt that she is 10 and due to the fact that they bare absolutely no importance on where she will be at her time doing her GCSE's we gave it a lot of thought and decided to tell her that she passed anyway.....we just feel that telling her she failed would really knock her and we understand that a child has to have disappointments in life but in this case, we felt that they were not important.....
I am also glad that I did, her little face of relief, stating that she had been 'really worried' really chocked me up if I am honest.
A 10 year old child - really worried about it all, and its not because of us, I can tell you that although she is our only child we are quite cool parents actually.
This is our reason for telling her that she has passed. The first one being that SAT marks really do not matter at all, that they are for the school.
Imagine us telling her that she didnt pass? Imagine all that hard work we have put in, working on making our girl a strong, caring person who excels at music, English and more importantly has the most beautiful manners you have ever seen....
Imagine the confidence knocked right out of her just because she didn't quite get a couple of marks???
She has gone to school today, knowing that she worked hard, because she did, because we even paid for tutors and she literally missed it by a few points. I am glad that we decided to tell her that, a 10 year old should not be worrying about exams, although her worry does tell me how hard she was working, because she was tutored twice per week and had extra lessons - asked for by her by the way, we did not force this at all - that is how we know she worked hard.
A few of my school yard parents were quite disappointed in their child for 'failing' that it was the schools fault or some of them bragging at how wonderful their child is that they will go into top sets etc.... whilst I applaud mums and dads in the yard that I have become very fond of them over the years, I cant help but wonder the pressure they have put on their child.
Gifts such as new dog, holidays for passing them and allowing the bragging on the yard to commence this morning, when I was asked, I just said my daughter passed and she is happy.....
When my daughter was 5, she came with me on my graduation as I got my law degree, it was the hardest thing I have ever done since she was a baby all she has ever known is me studying and having a baby starting university was very hard....but what it has done is show her how to apply herself and so I decided to tell her how fabulous she is and how hard she has worked as she doesnt need her confidence knocked for nothing and now what will happen is she will apply herself in the future still!!!!
To see my little girl this morning happy, non the wiser, no confidence destroyed because she has failed has been the correct decision.....
I know some people would disagree but honestly I cant tell you how unimportant they are compared to what is really important like manners, playing out, friendships, family and knowing that your child did her best....that was good enough for me!