School Uniform Snobbery?

[CookingDinner]

I have a horrible feeling that the competitiveness between parents about their primary school children has started even before our kids have started school.

I live in an affluent area, but I am not affluent myself. First a couple of parents snorted when I said that I was going to skip buying the checked summer dresses for my DD starting Reception in September, because they will soon need the winter wear and it's a waste of money. Now they are name dropping where they got their school uniforms from. I got mine from ASDA, and it seems they are going out of their way to let people know they got theirs from John Lewis or M&S.

Every supermarket sells school uniforms - who would go to John Lewis? Except to tell people they went to John Lewis. Oh, and apparently the 'stripey ones' are more impressive than the checked. Yawn.

Ummm. I think you are being overly sensitive about this or looking too much into it. Highly doubtful any "affluent" parent would be bragging when they say they got uniforms r m John Lewis or marks. I got mine from John Lewis, bc that is where the uniforms are sold. And no - Asda does not sell them and either does Sainsbury's. If I were to say I bought uniforms from John Lewis bc they were the suppliers is that bragging?? Not to mention the prices seem low to me, as John Lewis sells the checked uniform for 10gbp. Yes the stripes summer uniform is more expensive, but who cares. Some people might prefer stripes look or want one of the each. I think it's very silly to think someone is bragging they bought uniforms from marks or John Lewis. Geez! And no, I'm not bragging when I say I bought mine from there. If they sold them at my sainsbury I would have bought there as well. But my kids schools required uniform from specialist online store for one and the other John Lewis (both state schools).

Having another look at the JL website, I wonder whether the reason people prefer the striped dresses is because they have a contrasting white colour and therefore look "fancier"? They are nearly twice the price of the gingham dresses, depending on what age you buy.

The stripes dresses are a lot more expensive. Not sure why. I liked both so bought both. More so bc my daughter likes variety. Now she is in a different school, where summer dress is just checkers.

OP if you've decided your area is prone to snobbishness and are spotting people commenting on money/bragging in all kinds if areas, to the point where you wish you didn't live there, either it is very much in your own mind and this uniform I got is just an example of you feeling hyper sensitive, or it is a real thing......either way (and I would imagine you are being hyper sensitive due to perhaps not being as affluent as some of the others......them being able to afford different brands doesn't mean they are boasting if they refer to them)....but if it is a real problem for you and you feel it in lots of different areas, then perhaps it's not the right area for you to live in....it's really important to feel comfortable.

I would say that you just need to be careful that feeling like this doesn't rub off on your DC....and TBH it won't because if what other people say, but because of the way you react to what other people say. Children generally don't know the difference between Asda and JL dresses or new or second hand....the few I've known who do know about this seem to have some kind of inferiority complex about their stuff, because their parents keep telling them it's all they can afford or apologising or making it into a big thing, whereas if they just gave their kids the clothes, the kids wouldn't give the issue a second thought...because it really isn't an issue.

And interesting that only 1 person as far as I can tell on this thread has raised the issue of buying ethically and queried just how this extremely cheap school uniform is produced so cheaply....are people working in sweat shops to produce it? Yes, we might like 5 sets of cheapo school uniform so it can be washed constantly and is really convenient .....but would it be better and actually better for those workers too, to just to have 2 sets which cost a little more and aren't exploiting people?

So, 2 different issues....I would say, OP is being overly sensitive about this. Try to move on from this and definitely don't let your DC get wind of these feelings. Talking about the price of stuff and who has the more or less expensive versions is never helpful for kids, but just makes them become overly interested and make comparisons which they wouldn't do naturally and don't benefit anyone. But also, the ethical issue...one no one has seemed keen to consider in their enthusiasm for £1.50 polo shirts.

Some people like the striped dresses because they're often the uniform of independent schools, (and can cost a ridiculous stint if money each) whereas state schools require a gingham dress available at most supermarkets.

Years ago I bought M&S trousers and shorts for ds1 and Ds2 because they were well made and lasted longer than other stores. Then their boys school uniform took a nosedive and now it's poor.

I have never taken a blind bit of notice what uniform any other child wears. And I wouldn't have a clue which store it was from, just by looking at it. Which I never do. Look at it, that is.

But the summer dresses really are nice in summer. So light and free. They're not expensive and they're forgiving of being worn a size bigger or size smaller.

Are you sure it's snobbery not experience?

Just get a dress!

(We buy JL uniform because the Asda trousers didn't have the adjustable waist so literally fell off DS. But his tops are either no-logo in school colours or logo second hand)

DDs school doesn't allow dresses in September. They are summer uniform so can only be worn in summer. Check if this rule applies at your school before you buy OP.

These are the kind of women who will go out of their way to tell you how much their house cost, their holiday cost.....the list goes on.

I'm clutching my pearls. What a bunch of loons.

Just don't engage.
You don't have to have any conversations about this.
You don't have to judge the parents who buy their uniforms from John Lewis either though.

Dont bother with summer dresses in september just get the normal uniform and dont worry where you get it from! If they want to spend a fortune let them! They only lose them anyway.

No help on the uniform OP, but I totally get your point. It was the same when I lived in a little village in Hampshire.

But when you visit the friend call on your mobile and ask her to open the gate as you are outside in the car.

Sorry but you can generally tell where a uniform is from (sadly girls uniform particularly). Cheaper supermarket uniforms tend to have more gimmicky bits like heart shaped pulls on zips, extra frilly bits or a chain on a skirt waistband. That said most little ones have poor taste and much prefer the little checked dress with a white flower embroidered on the pocket and a lacy edge to the collar.
Does it really matter which dress a child ruins at school? Of course not.

Our primary used to insist on boys going into long trousers in October which my lads hated. They went through the knees several times a week and much preferred shorts but the new head was a fussy mumsie sort who insisted on long trousers as 'smarter'. She was the subject of much smirking and snobbery from the sidelines.

When ours transferred to independent uniforms were provided through a fitting at the school or from the onsite school shop in between the outfitters visits. Most children just picked up things from lost property though or were given last years left behind uniforms by the house staff. Not buying uniform was definitely seen as preferable even if girls were wearing skirts that came near the floor.

Isn't it always the way, that those who are really well off are happy to choose second hand, or to buy good quality and then to use it and use it until it is absolutely threadbare. Parents in independent schools are often very happy to use the second hand or thrift shop and to tell everyone. Having everything new is seen as a bit....nouveau!

People who have newly arrived, want everyone to know how well off they are. And those who struggle a bit are perhaps more aware than everyone of the labels and who has got what. It matters to them more than anyone else.

Sorry if all that sounds unpleasant....I think it probably is the reality. It's in aspirational, newly affluent areas where people are prone to show off and where the less affluent feel a bit bad. In really rich areas, old money has nothing to prove and in fact perhaps there is kudos in reverse snobbery and having the oldest, tattiest items.....but these will usually be old top-end, not supermarket brands I suspect.

OP, hold your head high and know it's all nonsense. You and your DDs worth is not measured in the brand on uniform and you need to know it and own it.

I buy from where suits me and what suits the boys so Sainsbury's polo shirts and Tesco PE kit but Next trousers because they do a popper fly rather than elastic/hook/button and that's what my son finds best.

If anyone knows of a cheaper alternative popper fly I would love to know, btw.

Also I buy uniform all over the year whenever there's an offer, not refusing to buy now just because it the end of the year - it'll still fit in September if I get the right size.

Isn't it always the way, that those who are really well off are happy to choose second hand, or to buy good quality and then to use it and use it until it is absolutely threadbare. Parents in independent schools are often very happy to use the second hand or thrift shop and to tell everyone. Having everything new is seen as a bit....nouveau!

I hate to agree with this because it feels more like a recycled MN urban legend than the truth, but it is actually the truth.

My kids have both gone to a London prep and the second-hand sales are absolutely heaving (and they're 1x per term, and further broken down by older and younger sizes). They need about 20 volunteers to run it. Their bar for stuff they will accept is surprisingly low.

My oldest is now at 'famous' public school and the boys all look terribly scruffy.

Only if you pay attention to these things. And why would you? I have never stood in a playground and given one nano second's thought to "ooh, that 's an ASDA / TESCO / M&S uniform'. Or recognised any, or compared my child's clothing to another.

Apart from anything else, it's so boring!

Sorry that post was in response to
"Sorry but you can generally tell where a uniform is from (sadly girls uniform particularly)."

Crumbs1 Something in your post jumped out at me. The kids just picked stuff up at lost property? Was it stuff that wasn't labelled? I ask because, having just labelled all my son's uniform for next year, it would really annoy me if he lost his jumper and it got handed out to some other child.

It isn't so much the cost as my time spent sewing on name tapes.

Isn't it always the way, that those who are really well off are happy to choose second hand, or to buy good quality and then to use it and use it until it is absolutely threadbare. Parents in independent schools are often very happy to use the second hand or thrift shop and to tell everyone. Having everything new is seen as a bit....nouveau!

I hate to agree with this because it feels more like a recycled MN urban legend than the truth, but it is actually the truth. My kids have both gone to a London prep and the second-hand sales are absolutely heaving (and they're 1x per term, and further broken down by older and younger sizes). They need about 20 volunteers to run it. Their bar for stuff they will accept is surprisingly low. My oldest is now at 'famous' public school and the boys all look terribly scruffy.

Agreed. Indeed, at the Eton-feeder prep school I worked at, there was a certain eye-rolling about anyone who insisted on all new.

How the rich stay rich, lesson 1.

I think I am lucky. Ds is at a private school - recep-yr2 have school specific jumper from supplier/ some school logo PE kit but rest is generic. I have never heard anyone talking about where they bought stuff from. The 2nd hand uniform shop is very very well used by the majority.
So far I have got tros/shorts, plain trainers, socks from m&s as they do fit ds (he is skinny and virtually everything falls down) and the rest from asda/sainsburys depending on where I was at the moment it was needed.

No at independent everything was labelled and lost property could be several years old PE skirts. Obviously they didn't take it if they knew the owner's name and matron was quite good at returning recently lost property.

Well that is fair enough.