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Primary education

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Original poster

DS1 in trouble again ...

31 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 06:54

Ok, DS1 is 5, in Reception. Enjoying school.

But yesterday, one of his classmates said he was hot. The teacher checked him (I think?) and said he wasn't. DS1 said 'pay her no mind, you are hot'.

Cue trip to the head of pre-prep etc etc.

I just can't bring myself to get that bothered about this. I mean, I realise they need order at school, they can't have him being sarky etc etc.

He does tend to be chatty at home, and will question rules etc, but I don't really see that as a problem ...

How would others feel?

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earlgrey · 16/03/2007 06:56

Bit confused. Who was hot, ds or his friend? And what was the sarky bit? 'Pay her no mind'? That could have been genuine concern, couldn't it?

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 16/03/2007 07:00

Well they can't have children openly cheeking the teacher so seems reasonable to me. If you're happy with him questioning rules at home that's fine, but he does need to know that at school the teacher gets the last word! It's a hard lesson to learn but we all have to do it at some point

Fillyjonk · 16/03/2007 07:11

hmm

it sounds utterly surreal and quite funny

I'm sure the teacher is big enough to take a sarky comment or two.

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 16/03/2007 07:14

It's not a matter of the teacher's hurt feelings

Fillyjonk · 16/03/2007 07:21

it seems utterly trivial though. He's 5 fgs!

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 16/03/2007 07:26

It is trivial and no-one would think any further of it apart from this thread (no offence nqc!) DS was cheeky to teacher. Teacher dealt with it...presumably (sp?) within school's discipline policy...case closed. NQC obviously not too worried about it.
Your comment just annoyed me because it implied NQC's son was in trouble because he hurt the teacher's feelings. Give me a break.

Fillyjonk · 16/03/2007 07:34

ok-ay

chill there, my friend

earlgrey · 16/03/2007 07:36

OMG, HOW did I miss he was five! Was thinking he was in Y6 or something.

NQC, I think it's your ds's teacher that needs to chill!

Twiglett · 16/03/2007 07:39

he was cheeky - it was dealt with - seems fair enough to me

although am sneakily impressed by the level of his sarcasm at such a young age

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 16/03/2007 07:40

Can you tell I'm a teacher?
This is absolutely not directed at NQC.... Some parents are unhappy if their children are disciplined but then unhappy if their children are subjected to disruptive behaviour from other children. So discipline or not...Teachers can't win!

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 07:42

Sorry, meant 'snarky' rather than sarky. He is sarky sometimes, too.

He's getting time out for this today, too, though. And he was taken to see the head of pre-prep about it.

Thinking about it more, I can see that he'd need to be pulled up for what he said, but I'd think that the teacher addressing it would be enough, without him being taken to the head of department, and punished again today, too.

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Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 07:43

I think I am a tiny bit proud of him for being so assertive. I was so scared of teachers when I was a child, this is probably a reaction to that.

Obviously the teacher needs order in the class, she doesn't need to spend all her time dealing with assertive five-year-olds.

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Fillyjonk · 16/03/2007 07:43

ok dances

so what is the issue here then? becuase my best guess is that the teacher was annoyed that he was being sarky. That sort of comment from a 5 yo is hardly disruptive, is it? You just ignore it if you don't want it. So what else is there in that to get NQC hauled in front of the head?

oh fgs come BACK nqc and explain more

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 07:45

Oh, wait, I'm not seeing the head. DS1 saw the head of department, and I got ritually told off (in front of DS1) and then a relaxed chat when he was out of earshot.

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Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 07:46

I'm not annoyed about the school's response exactly, more puzzled by it. DS1 isn't terrified by having been taken to see the head of department (as I no doubt would have been), so I don't think this was disproportionate, certainly not harmful, anyway.

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Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 07:49

I didn't mean this to be a 'school are being outrageous' thread, more a 'hmmm, not sure what I think' thread.

Am quite ill, so probably misled things.

And of course I have no actual say over where the thread goes.

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danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 16/03/2007 07:50

Yes well NQC I hate to jump off my soap box but I do agree it seems a bit excessive going to head (I would have dealt with it in class) - did you say pre-prep? Private? I know heads can be alot more involved in discipline than at state (I went to private school but teach in state)
FJ I don't think NQC was 'hauled' in the head and NO you don't just ignore it. You have to be responsible for and 'in charge' of 30 children at once. They have to know you need to be listened to and not cheeked. (sounds 1950's I know)

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 16/03/2007 07:51

NQC what have you done?!!!

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 07:51

Private yes, but quite cuddly - they are in track suits, not weirdo medieval outfits with hats with bells.

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Twiglett · 16/03/2007 07:55

one child back-chatting a teacher could possibly not be seen as such a bad thing

but multiply it by 5, 10 or 20 and you get an uncontrollable class with no respect

I think maybe they were nipping unacceptable behaviour in the bud

I do know if one of DS's friends spoke to me the way I read that comment in your OP (with the intonation I gave it in my head) they would be thrown the 'stern glare'

I deserve respect .. and teachers deserve a damn sight more

and 5 is not too early to learn that

(not directed at NQC just rambling thoughts)

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 16/03/2007 08:17

Twig I am both blardy loving you and getting annoyed that you can say what I want to more eloquently all over the place today. Damn you and your morning brain

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 09:57

I do see your point, Twiglett. I guess I intellectually totally agree, but emotionally don't ...

DH did point out last night, there are polite and impolite ways to disagree with someone, and DS1 definately went for the impolite one - he needs to switch to a polite one, or keep his objections to himself, particularly at school.

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Twiglett · 16/03/2007 09:59

and it wasn't any of his blardy business

no, I know what you mean .. I am great at giving advice, doesn't stop me wanting to kill anyone who tells my children off for things that wouldn't bother me ... its the process of letting go and allowing other influences I find incredibly hard

@ dances

ledodgy · 16/03/2007 10:01

I agree with twig but am still pmsl at "Pay her no mind.."

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 16/03/2007 10:04

It is a bit funny isn't it? I mean, it sounds like something from an old movie. 'Ignore the serving wench' ...

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