What puts off parents from joining PTA

[idlemum]

Would really like some feedback on others' experience of fundraising committess. We don't have a PTA as such but a 'friends' of the school. My dd is now a yr2 and I joined the committee when she started in reception along with a couple of other mothers. Since then we have had one new member last year and none from this year's batch of new parents. There has been criticism in the past that the committee is seen as 'clicquey'. This may or may not be true and has usually surfaced when we have tried to find out why certain events are not popular or why no-one comes to the AGM etc. We think the criticism may have been fair for some members in the past but not now. We will all speak to anyone and genuinely welcome any ideas.So what I am trying to find out is what type of actions/behaviours give rise to this impression. (Or is the impression just an excuse for not getting involved?)Has anyone had experience of this or indeed has anyone felt they couldn't join a 'pta' for similar reasons.
Hope this request makes sense as it is the first thread I have started being new to MN.

I wanted to be involved but having a younger child made it difficult to attend meetings/ help out as had no-one to look after DS2. DS2 starts at the school in Sep (fingers crossed) so wiil join then.
I think apathy is the main reason people don't join.

Have you a parent's evening coming up? You could compile a questionnaire about the PTA and ask people to fill it in. It would be an opportunity to chat with parents about the group and what they would like to see happening.
We are just in the early stages of setting a group up so know how difficult it can be.

yes, we have to do regular PR type activities to try and drum up enthusiasm. We put a flyer out each September and usually get 3 o4 newbies to the first mtg, and count ourselves lucky to retain 1 or 2 of them thereafter.

Thanks Dafodil and Mimizan for your comments. We have done the questionnaire route and perhaps not surprisingly got little response! We have all our meetings in the evenings so that parents who work outside the home can attend and so that young children can be more easily looked after.I realise that this may not suit single parents but it was the best compromise we could come up with. Having said that, one of the most active members is a single parent who holds down a full-time job!

We also arrange for a creche on PTA nights, but are fortunate to live in an area which qulaifies for a highly subsidised mobile creche (as long as we remember to book it enough in advance! )

PTA always sounds quite scary to me and a bit like school all over again. Very immature I know to think this and i know most likely not true. Don't know what to suggest to get around this though

Interesting thread. I would like to get more involved in the PTA, but am put off by its clique-i-ness... The chair is a very confident, loud person and the PTA seems like a pet project for her and her cronies. Anyway, her dd will be leaving the school in the summer, so maybe things will change once she goes.

My thoughts on how to get people more involved (i.e. what I would try to do, given the chance):

Could you try to make the evening meetings more of a social thing (if they aren't already)? Try to push them as a night out, perhaps.

If you send a circular round inviting parents, try to invite them by name, to make it more personal.

Also make it clear that it doesn't matter if they can't manage every meeting. Remind parents that even if they can only help out as little as once per year (e.g. run a stall at the fete), that help would be appreciated.

I would have joined the school PTA if all the meetings were not held at times like 10am when I was at work !

I had to push myself to join the PTA being fairly new the the school but I'm glad I did join - fortunately ours is very friendly and not at all cliquey but DSs previous school PTA was a bit of a nightmare.

I would join/help at things if the meetings/activities weren't all when I was at work.

With me it is time. I have had to give up all my voluntary activities due to work commitments. Working long hours means I get to spend little enough time with the family as it is so am not willing to compromise that.

I work in the day and on Saturdays and as dh teaches in the evenings we don't have childcare anyway.

We do our utmost to attend things like Christmas concerts etc and parents evenings as these are important for our daughter but to be perfectly honest the children at dd's school are so priveleged anyway that I don;t really think it matters if they have another super duper adventure playground or another interactive whiteboard (though the school uniform swop shop is very useful)

Message withdrawn

I have the same feeling about pta meatings as orinoco

I joined, they send me the minutes, but only tell me the date, not the time of the meeting, it also seems to be more of a teachers meeting than a parent teacher meeting and you end up feeling they had the meeting in the staff room in the morning?

plus, I don't find them even the slightest bit friendly, it is like toddler group, but without the relief of having a toddler to distract you from the social torture of engaging with complete strangers

I have totally blotted my copy book by missing the last two meetings, and not phoning to give my apologies.

I wanted to join the PTA at my DSs school but they hold the meetings down the pub and I really don't like sitting in smokey pubs. Also, I am pregnant, due in 3 weeks and whilst I would attend meetings at the school/someones house with a small baby and not bother about BFing, I can't commit to the next year as will not take the baby down the pub as well.

I don't join as I can't bear all the fannying around that comes from decisions by committee.

It would drive me insane!

So I contribute in other ways

with me clique-i-ness comes from poor communication. you say that you genuinely welcome ideas and members but does every parent at the school really know this? how do you tell them? do they know how the PTA works? when it meets? how much warning do you give about meetings? do they know how you get to be a member/chair/on the committee? if you rely on talking to parents at pick-up and drop-off times then you'll end being cliquey, if you rely on notices in school you'll exclude working parents. advertising meetings properly (newsletters and email) and not making events seem like foregone conclusions for whihc all you want is people to take on jobs rather than contributing ideas would help hugely (can you tell I have a bit of a problem with my PTA....?)

Nothing would put me off whatever the others were like.
I consider it my duty to take part and know for a fact that when i want the school to go the extra mile for me and my children,they will.

You could send out reminders for strictly fundraising meetings - just in case other meetings have more sensitive stuff. People who can't commit to attending every meeting might be pleased to come along and share ideas/contacts but they have to know when&where (about a week or 2 in advance) and be reassured that it's informal and friendly and ok to never turn up again. That one visit might be really valuable.

I assume the cliquiness comes from the fact that it makes sense to retain titled committee members as long as possible. I guess you need to swallow pride and beg, ie on AGM invitation, that new normal members are desperately needed, not merely tolerated as would seem to be the impression often.

Sometimes cliqueyness is used as an excuse imvho.

hmmm. I think explaining how it works - including its structure and how the existing people got to be on the committee/in their roles and how other people could is really crucial to avoid clique-i-ness. It's called transparency. For me there's nothing more irritating than the whiff of people being self-appointed, or personally asked to take on a role. I've never quite forgiven my lot for the time when I turned up at the first meeting of the school year when dd had just started school to find that a class rep had already been decided on. how and when did that happen? and how was it meant to serve people feeling involved? (just an example of how not to do things)

I agree Unknown

agree too unknown,I have been on pta for three schools and all ahve been friendly.I think some people are just shy/can't be bothered/don't care types .
What really really riles me is when parents who aren't involved in the pta or help in someway have a moan about things and how they are organised.If you don't like it join and have your say!

Why don't they join? Because they are bone bloody idle and just can't be arsed.

Talking about cliques is just bullshit. Well, it's usually a group of women - a small group - who do every thing because a) they want to and they enjoy it and b)because no bugger else will and it's the only way to get funds for certain things the school needs/wants.

People saying they don't have time is a big lie half the time as well. If you don't want to do it, don't do it, but don't make excuses. I've got 3 kids of 5 and under, plus a job that I do evenings, weekends and whenever else I can fit it in and I've still spent the last few weeks involved in organised a family photo session (spent all of yesterday in school doing that), a St Pat's night Ceilidh and an in-school easter egg decorating event.

I think cliqueyness is understandable. You spend a lot of time with certain people, you always gossip together, go to each others houses, etc..

On one level, you might desperately need new members, so you invite them to meetings. They come along, you smile at them ... but you don't really give then much chance to contribute because you've already discussed most of what you want to say with your mates.
Meeting comes to an end, you want to share some juicy gossip with your mates, so you go to one of their houses for coffee... newbie a bit unsure what to do, so sidles off home... Decides not to bother with next meeting, it all seemed a bit of a waste of time.... and so cliquey!

The next meeting comes around. The "clique" wonder why none of the new members hang around.

Of course, there are some who dismiss PTAs as cliques without even attempting to join in. Sometimes it can be a convenient excuse.

the problem with the PTA at our school is that it is so small that there is LOADS to be done. IF everyone got involved then it would be easily spread out between us all, but I know there is only a hard core4 or 5 and they do everything - I don't want to volunteer because I cannot take on the huge role that would be expected.