What puts off parents from joining PTA

[idlemum]

Would really like some feedback on others' experience of fundraising committess. We don't have a PTA as such but a 'friends' of the school. My dd is now a yr2 and I joined the committee when she started in reception along with a couple of other mothers. Since then we have had one new member last year and none from this year's batch of new parents. There has been criticism in the past that the committee is seen as 'clicquey'. This may or may not be true and has usually surfaced when we have tried to find out why certain events are not popular or why no-one comes to the AGM etc. We think the criticism may have been fair for some members in the past but not now. We will all speak to anyone and genuinely welcome any ideas.So what I am trying to find out is what type of actions/behaviours give rise to this impression. (Or is the impression just an excuse for not getting involved?)Has anyone had experience of this or indeed has anyone felt they couldn't join a 'pta' for similar reasons.
Hope this request makes sense as it is the first thread I have started being new to MN.

MrsPhilipGlenister - you could auction a snog with your DH - I would!

I mean I would bid. High

Our PTA is not cliquey but it is almost exclusively the white middle class mums from the school - which is about 70% BME. It worries me that the PTA is so unrepresentative - I think there are some cultural factors going on here. Plus people tend to join groups where there are other 'people like me'. NCT has very similar dynamic I think.

i was aksed my the chairwoman of the PTA to do some flyers by Friday (it was Tuesday) and she was sooo rude about it, that I told her I didn't appreciate being talked to like a child. Whereby she went completely off on one saying how hard it was working for the PTA, how she was glad she was giving it up, how no-one understands volunteering etc I pointed out I have volunteered for different projects for 14 years, produced the leaflet she wanted by the deadline and than she said she had got it done already!

that's why I don't want to join the PTA.

There has been a very successful PTA at my children's primary school for many years. It definitely is not cliquey. A lot of the parents are involved, which is important as it's a tiny one form entry school. Here's how it works:
Each year there are 2 co-chairs. One of them was co-chair the previous year, the other is co-chair the following year, so experience is passed on. This system was brought in by some American mums and it works very well.
Each form has a rep who is in charge of communication with parents of kids in that form.
There is a hospitality team and a cooking lesson team who organise regular cookery lessons with the children. There is another team involved in listening to kids read.
The school photocopier is used for copying a monthly newsletter and meetings are well advertised on a blackboard in the playground. This is very important for keeping cliquey-ness down to a minimum. Also important are frequent name-checks, badges at social events and avoiding too many "in-jokes" in the newsletter.
Most meetings take place after drop-off time, which means I don't go to them, but the newsletter tells me what's been decided.
Social events are very lively though my dh and I don't go much any more, only our youngest age 9 is still in the school, so we feel a bit antiquated, but I don't feel unwelcome.
I might add that there are about 20 different nationalities in the school and over 50% of the kids do not have English as their first language.

Excellent Casbie, if she's leaving now's your chance to be a new broom and sweep clean . (And other trilling ponyclub type platitudes)

Our PTA is minimal and nearly non-existent, in an Infants with 280 children plus nursery. Only thing to add that I think hasn't been said, is it is a good idea to VARY the time of the meetings-then you don't totally exclude either working people or SAHMS who will come straight after drop-off or before pick-up-and they ALL have small ones, that is why they are SAHMS; our school wouldn't have any PTA at all unless those with small ones in tow felt no qulams about bringing them and the meetings are always held somewhere in the school they can play a bit with a few toys, biscuits drinks etc. Also there wouldn't be a PTA without one of the school staff coming as well as anchor-person. It IS a P T A after all.

despite that, it is very poorly attended especially by non-native English speakers.

i guess they can be cliquey but just to state the obvious they raise money for the school which benefits all children not just their own! I'm tbh at how few parents want to get involved in anything to help their school -even if they can'[t spare the time or money,doesn't take much to bring along a packet of biscuits/cake for fund-raising stall or to tidy up the school garden etc etc.

I feel unrepresentative and a bit shy. And when I was a kid it was a bit shameful if your mum was a PTA mum, especially in secondary school when the ideal was that your parent never, ever showed their face within a mile of your school. I used to make my mum drop me off round the corner when she gave me a lift occasionally. [ungrateful swine emoticon]

oh IKWYM! Secondary's a whole different ballgame. (still cringe at memory of dad picking me up in his wellies!)
I was meaning primary.

The jumped up authoritarians in the committee.

are they really that bad? Aren't they just do-gooders and after all we need do-gooders to do the donkeywork!

Steady, LVT, I'm one of the jumped up authoritarian types!

Think we sometimes get a hard time, when we are probably just mugs.

Dont think they get a hard time, I just think they like to shout about how much they do - like I can be aresed hearing about it for the third time that month.

Is that me???

other parents.
its all a popularity contest. you only get elected, or chosed to do stuff if you have mates on the meets. anyone knew doesnt stand a chance..
and the politics.........

ok, about the cheque idea....BOOO HISSS!!! We do alot of fun things in our pta,which make a minimal amount of money, but are organised to get the children involved in their community (ie school). Also, i suppose we may have a "hidden agenda". It is frustrating when parents don't help out, so we try to do things that are fun for the kids, that get them involved, so they grow up to be bossy pta-ers lol!!!
(Just kidding about the boo hiss - may have to raise that idea at the next mtg....)

I support our PTA (and organised the school disco last night in fact) but am not a committee person - don't like meetings. I hear a lot of moaning about why certain people never help with PTA events (and have thought it myself on occasion) but people don't choose whether to send their kids to school or not, it's the law. Getting involved is purely optional and sometimes I think people forget this.

"its all a popularity contest. you only get elected, or chosed to do stuff if you have mates on the meets. anyone knew doesnt stand a chance.."

You don't need to be elected or have a title to be in on it. Would have thought NOT having a title would be the preferred option as it gives you the flexibility to do less if you fancy. I'm sure anyone who passionately wanted to do loads won't have any problems making themselves heard.

Am I the only one that thinks I see PITA every time there is a thread about the PTA?

i'm actually having a change ofheart, having seen abit of the in-fighting & hugeexpectation that you not only join in, help at events, pay to be at events and for babysitter, contribute towards prizes..but this is not enough! You should be back doing more stuff over the w/e too! I'm actually feeling guilty for not doing so,wtf?!
I think I might just help by attending events & doing a few extras as & when I can rather than being a full-blown member.

Hi there,

I'm one of those lazy ignorant ones who'd rather give an annual cheque. Here are my reasons....

First of all I'm from another country, in "continental Europe", but sometimes there's a world in between. When I came here I had no clue what the PTA was REALLY for as fund-raising basically doesn't exist in my country, at least not in the way it's done here. A school normally has one or at the most two things going on a year, and that's it.

Some (def. not all!) active PTA mums are super friendly if I do help a bit, then as soon as I don't (even if they have all their children at school while I still have a toddler in tow) they ignore me completely.
I'm finding this attitude (only be friendly if they get something from me) very rude.

Why not say, state education is not actually free, but you have to pay
a) either whatever you can or
b) an amount based on income/number of children etc.
so the school can spend this on carpets/books/whiteboards/water fountains etc....

Sounds unfair on schools in less affluent areas, but then the parents there will probably be less likely to spend loads of money on raffle tickets and cakes anyway if they don't have the money in the first place.

This would stop the guilty feelings for the not-active-PTA-parents and the martyr feeling of the very-active-PTA-parents.

We have an extremely busy PTA and I'm very grateful for all the work they do, but it just gets too much. I wouldn't mind one or two events a year, but there's always something going on.
Sometimes I don't even know if it's something from the school or the PTA (as if it doesn't make any difference). There's a no-uniform-day here (£1) and a cake sale there, do they think this way parents don't notice they part with a little bit of change here and there, but constantly have to meke sure they don't forget these events or being made feel guilty for not actively helping.
Why not hand over one cheque (or weekly/monthly instalments for those who wish) and that's it.

Also, I don't see the point paying a babysitter (also have 3 children, don't work, but also don't have childcare, not even grandparents nearby or anything) just to join their meetings, as my dh works very long hours + long commute. I don't even use a babysitter (because of the cost) to go to the cinema/theatre/restaurant or anything, so why pay for something I don't really want to go to anyway?

Also I'm Mrs Scaredypants and not happy to walk around late at night (someone mentioned meetings til midnight - no thanks, wouldn't want to pay for a taxi on top (have no car).

Even as someone who "just" comes along to the school events I hate the fact that at the tombola you basically pay for plastic rubbish toys that break within minutes(and are not v. environmentally friendly, nor educational, often not even fun for the kids (had some disappointments recently).

Also, it's absolutely beyond me why I should
a) spend money on alcoholic drinks for the grown-ups tombola (what message does this give to the children? Alcohol in a school, particularly tons of bottles visible for the kids, would normally be a big no-no for me).
b) spend (more) money on tombola ticket to win another crappy alcoholic drink (which I hate anyway).

Why not spend all that money directly on useful things for the school, rather than on plastic rubbish made in China, alcohol from a huge supermarket chain, cakes, lovingly made but still looking like a health hazard or shop-bought and full of hydrogenated fat, and so on?

I agree there is a little "fun" factor involved, but after a couple of events, particularly as there are so many at our school, it does wear off quickly, even for the kids.

I don't really like to pay for something that I don't actually want to generate money for the school (I still do it to support the school, but feel it's a way of pulling money out of parents' pockets in a way that they don't realise (don't they really?) they have actually paid twice or three times the amount that's actually needed (maybe for cake ingredients, plus giving their time to attend a PTA evening incl. babysitter/taxi cost, or even if not, making the cake/manning a stall plus buying the actual cake).

I also believe many parents spend at all those tombolas/fetes etc. because they're guilty they haven't actively joined the PTA and then feel they "at least" they have to pay for some rubbish as it's "for the school" i.e. for their own children.

As for the "community" factor, I don't feel any closer to the local estate agents just because they handed over some money to be featured in some school programme, or in fact to any other company.

Maybe I should join the PTA just to get my message across and get "them" (us?) to limit the number of annual events, scrap the alcoholic drinks and draw up a plan to get the money without going to such lenghts, but think they wouldn't let me.
And maybe it wouldn't work.