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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Why does school do mothers day and not fathers day?

41 replies

heathc1iff · 13/03/2017 18:54

Does anyone else's school ignore fathers day but goes all out for mothers day?
My 10 year olds daughter mother died 3 years ago, although she hadn't seen her for the previous 4 years.
Every year school make a big thing of mothers day but fathers day is totally ignored. Today the head gave an assembly telling the children how important it was and they're having a stall at lunch time on Wednesday to buy and rap mothers day presents. Obviously my daughter came home really upset by this. I appreciate mothers day is important for most kids but why is fathers day ignored?

OP posts:

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meditrina · 13/03/2017 18:56

Is it a faith school?

Because if Christian, then they may well observe Mothering Sunday, but ignore the made up secular Fathers/Grandparents Days

Bestbees · 13/03/2017 18:57

Is it a church school? Mothering sunday is a christian tradition. Fathers day is a more modern addition. However the extra commerial element is silly and upsetting gor many.

I am sorry for your daughters loss.

PickAChew · 13/03/2017 18:59

Yep. Our mother's day is Mothering Sunday in the Christian calender. Father's day (and The US Mother's day, in May) is a Hallmark made up day.

TheOnlyColditz · 13/03/2017 19:00

because a large portion of children do not have regular contact with their fathers

Original poster

heathc1iff · 13/03/2017 19:00

I hadn't thought about the faith aspect but her school isn't a faith school its a normal primary school

OP posts:

OdinsLoveChild · 13/03/2017 19:01

It must be your school. We have both Mothers day and Fathers day. Alternative guardians, Grandmothers or Aunts plus Grandfathers or Uncles, are invited along if Mums or Dads aren't around anymore.
It's more about the females role in the family and the males roles in the family rather than the specific role of a Mother or Father. I think you need to go in and have a chat with the head. Sometimes they just don't realise until someone points it out.

MrsPear · 13/03/2017 19:02

Because statically a child is more likely to have a mother figure than a father figure or they ignore the commercial crap and concentrate on the true meaning ie Mothering Sunday

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 13/03/2017 19:02

I always thought Mothering Sunday was about workers returning to the 'Mother' church back in the day?

ShowOfHands · 13/03/2017 19:04

Many primary schools follow a C of E calendar so do Easter, Christmas, Shrove Tuesday, Mothering Sunday etc but may miss out secular or pagan stuff like Halloween and Fathers Day.

Perhaps talk to the school and explain the impact it's having.

UpdateRequired · 13/03/2017 19:04

Ours does neither. As a LP this suits me.

Hulababy · 13/03/2017 19:09

Some do both. We usually do. Though we don't say that it has to be directed at a mum/dad necessarily. We also say it could be a significant or important other adult. The teachers know the make up of their class and a little about their family, so know how to judge it accordingly on the whole.

But Mother's Day is part of the Christian calendar, and most schools in England are of a broadly Christian nature, hence why Mother's day appears in most schools, even when father's Day doesn't.

reup · 13/03/2017 19:09

My kids school does nothing in the way of cards for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter nor Christmas (cards or decorations) the head said when I asked "it's not on the curriculum map." . It so boring and joyless.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 13/03/2017 19:11

I know of a few schools who avoid fathers day because of the number of children who don't see their fathers for whatever reason, I avoid it with my class if i have a child I know it might upset, however when i have had children whose mother isn't about I have avoided mothers day too.

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 13/03/2017 19:13

Our does both.

mrz · 13/03/2017 19:13

Fathers Day Grandparents Day are made up by the card companies

mamaduckbone · 13/03/2017 19:17

We 'do' Mothering Sunday as a church school. Some classes might make Father's Day cards too but I tend not to since I've had so many children whose fathers are not on the scene for a variety of traumatic reasons.
I'm sorry for your daughter's loss, the school should perhaps be handling it with more sensitivity if they are aware.

Acornantics · 13/03/2017 19:23

I had no idea Mothers' Day was a Christian tradition!

sirfredfredgeorge · 13/03/2017 19:23

Mothers day is a made up day too, made up just a few years before fathers day. Neither of them, made up by card companies.

That mothering sunday imported all the same rituals and the name of mothers day, including card and present giving, has pretty much nullified mothering sunday as an occasion. Religious schools would not be celebrating mothering sunday, as it makes no sense until after school age when the children would be living away from home.

I think you need to ask the school why they care about one but not the other, our school does both in an extremely low key way, and whilst there's some encouragement for it to be a woman in your life or man in your life that is celebrated on the two occasions, they appear very flexible.

SpikyFish · 13/03/2017 19:43

I agree it is insensitive- I know of 2 children who have lost their mothers

mrz · 13/03/2017 19:57

Mother's Day dates back to the early Christian church ...so made up but centuries ago and not to sell greeting cards

Trooperslane · 13/03/2017 20:03

So what if its original thing was a religious one?

I'm a(n) catholic atheist and we're not ones for big Facebook bragging about flowers/show off presents etc.

It's just nice for DD to make a card which she's really proud of, for her and the other spouse to spoil with breakfast in bed, a special lunch etc.

May well be a Hallmark Holiday but stuff like Easter and Halloween gets more and more commercial every year too - why not share the love for the Dads.

I also think those who have answered the op "more Dads don't see their kids" is actually horrifically insensitive given the detail in the OP. Shame on you lot :(

QuackDuckQuack · 13/03/2017 20:05

Ours does both and makes it very clear that an alternative female relative is welcome on Mother's Day and an alternative male relative is welcome on Father's Day. And I'm sure they'd be open to it being a man on Mother's Day/woman on Father's Day if it meant a child could be included. But they do put lots of thought into inclusion, even though it's just a regular school in a not particularly diverse or deprived area.

Trooperslane · 13/03/2017 20:06

.... and for the record, my DM is dead and I am DREADING the poor shop assistants who are forced to upsell Mother's Day tat to me - all I can say is - no thank you, she's dead.

I realise that's likely to upset some people, but it's massively insensitive to assume that everyone has a mother either in their lives or still alive.

My DFriend and I were having a wee cry about it on Sunday.

Also given DM's anniversary is mid April, it hurts even more. So is DDad's. Thank you, Universe.

Trooperslane · 13/03/2017 20:07

Jesus. What a rant.

Sorry, hit a nerve to all, especially OP

Foldedtshirt · 13/03/2017 20:07

That's really poor of the school. Really insensitive, and although I can see that for most children it's a lovely thing to do, at least someone could have taken your daughter to one side and suggested she choose something for you and checked she was ok.
for you both.

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