Primary application appeal

[monkeytree]

Hi
This is a bit of a long shot; I don't think many mothers would have found themselves in this situation (I hope not anyway).

To cut a long story short I had a late mc and we have been trying to move away from the area to give me a fresh start but have not yet managed to find a new house. One women in the village had a child a week after my late ds was due and every time I see her child I am reminded of what I have lost and become distressed; hence plan A = to move. This constant reminder is almost like having flashbacks. My eldest DC is due to start grammar school shortly but my youngest DC is due to start school in Sept 2018. I know it is early but I am dreading my youngest DC starting school where this woman already takes her eldest child and her youngest child will start the year after (so young dc will be sandwiched between the two of them). Plus they mix classes so it is likely that my dc will be in her dc's year at some point. Occasionally I see this woman around the village occasionally but the thought of having to do the school run and have the physical reminder on a daily basis is affecting my mood. Unsurprisingly, young DC currently goes to a pre-school in the next village and is thriving there. The problem is the other school is very small and there are already high percentage of siblings there. I know a woman from my village who did get her child into the other school but it is such a gamble and there are very few places available..
My question is would the LEA take into consideration the state of my mental health, given that I take AD's and can probably get a supporting letter from GP. Is there any way the school can create an extra space do you think? Obviously my mental health impacts on my children too. It's quite an unusual request I know but it would make an enormous difference to our daily life. It's not just the school run it is about me being involved with the school too and feeling comfortable in class assembly etc. The school in our direct catchment is outstanding and over subscribed eldest dd attended and did well. Other school is equally good in my opinion so I'm not requesting this because one school is better than the other. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Many thanks ladies for taking the time this evening to comment and advise on a very stressful situation. All comments will be taken onboard and I can't tell you how useful it's been so thank you so much, mumsnet can be a really great support X

Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

I wish we could right swipe and hide triggering people like we can posts! Wish you well for the future x

I think the other school isn't the solution if I'm honest. Primary schools aren't exactly the best place for avoiding babies, there are bound to be parents doing the school run with babies the same age wherever you go school wise. Your child isn't even at the school yet, you have a year and a half to access counselling and come to a place where you're more able to cope with other babies. I don't think it's worth risking being allocated a school miles away over.

Thank you Venus X

Delphine, it appears you have not read this thread fully.

I have read the thread, my intention was to emphasise the point made by Venus. I have had PTSD, and triggers are awful. But there does come a point at which you have to accept you're going to see them everywhere and avoidance stops you living your own life. Easy to say you don't think other mothers and babies will upset you now, but seeing them every day in the playground, play dates etc might change that. Counselling is tricky, I had several different counsellors before I found one that really worked for me. Several different techniques too. I sympathise, the first round of it I had I didn't find remotely helpful. I just think gambling on getting a place at the other school and potentially ending up with one miles away is a big risk.