New teacher wants slightly different handwriting style and its upsetting DD

[pinkunicornsarefluffy]

I am posting for some perspective, and wonder what other schools/teachers do. DD is in year 4, has been taught up to class 3 to do joined up handwriting and taught to add curls to her long letters, g's y's etc. A new teacher has joined the school in Class 4 and has told them that she does not like the curls and they are not allowed to do them.

DD has really struggled with her handwriting and this is making her very anxious as she keeps forgetting and then the teacher tells her off and makes her do it again, telling her "no curls".

I emailed the teacher and HT and got no response, so emailed again a week later and the HT replied and said she thought it had been dealt with and that the school use the Nelson method of handwriting. At parents evening the teacher said that she prefers the (something) Nelson (can't remember what she called it. I also asked HT what happens if Class 5 or 6 prefer curls and make them do it that way again.

I asked the HT if it is right that a teacher can come in and demand the children write differently to suit herself, but she didn't respond to that point. The current year 3's are still being taught with curls, so they will have the same problem when they reach class 4. As it happens, the class 5 teacher is also new and has told them that she prefers the other way but she will accept their way as long as she can read it.

I would have thought that all teachers across the school should stick to one policy that the school teaches, not what they prefer personally? or AIBU?

Really need some perspective/advice before contacting the HT again, as DD is coming home in tears on a regular basis about the handwriting. She has had several problems with the teacher already, which is what is holding me back as I don't want to be one of "those" parents who is in there repeatedly about stuff!

NoCleanClothes: Oh yes, here we go

I'm going to leave you to your nasty comments.

Ok great I don't think my comment is nasty though I genuinely think your attitude is potentially damaging to children and I don't feel guilty for saying so. (I also suspect you can't come up with a logical answer so you're ducking out),

NoCleanClothes: No, I just think you have given up on discussing it with reference to logic and decided I am being nasty to kids, shouting, making them anxious, etc., when actually I am advocating a teacher having a simple set of rules that are consistent with school policies and issuing reminders to the children about those rules. And that is it. It's not nasty, it shouldn't induce anxiety and if it does, the child definitely needs support because they will likely be unable to cope with school in years to come.

@Trifleorbust - I do see your point, about sending endless letters home to tell parents stuff they already know, about the uniform rules, and telling the child that their uniform is wrong and they need to tell their parents may be a better way of getting the parents to take notice (I am paraphrasing, but I think that is what you are saying).

But a good teacher can do this without making the child so upset that they are afraid to go into school, or making them cry/scared.

Discipline is important, and I have no issues with firm discipline - but it should be done with care.

I have always backed the school, on discipline - even to the extent of sending ds1 into school over half term, to do detention with the Head of Science (he had managed to do almost no work in Biology in the previous year, and whilst his previous teacher had chased him, we were never to,d there was a problem, until he moved up a year, and had the Head of Science - who wanted to crack down hard on this - with my full agreement).

But I would have had definite concerns if I felt my child was scared of their teacher and was as upset and worried as the children in the OP's account apparently are.

But a good teacher can do this without making the child so upset that they are afraid to go into school, or making them cry/scared.

Usually, yes. It certainly should not be a regular occurrence! But some children will get upset even when the reminder is issued in a clear, firm but kind way. Some parents don't help with this by allowing them to over-dramatise being 'told off' when actually they haven't been told off, just reminded of the rules. And sometimes they do need to be reprimanded, for example if they aren't doing homework in y4/5.

I would also be concerned if I felt my child was genuinely scared of a teacher, but not if they had no real basis for being scared other than being reprimanded.

OP. If your child has memory issues then whoever picks her up needs to help her in this. "Have you remembered your homework? What is it?" "Do you have eneryhjngbtou need?" That sort of thing. Keep a homework checklist on the homework bag. I think you have to get proactive about this. Secondary school will be horrible otherwise! Best to try and sort it in a practical way now. Can your collecting adult help?