New teacher wants slightly different handwriting style and its upsetting DD

[pinkunicornsarefluffy]

I am posting for some perspective, and wonder what other schools/teachers do. DD is in year 4, has been taught up to class 3 to do joined up handwriting and taught to add curls to her long letters, g's y's etc. A new teacher has joined the school in Class 4 and has told them that she does not like the curls and they are not allowed to do them.

DD has really struggled with her handwriting and this is making her very anxious as she keeps forgetting and then the teacher tells her off and makes her do it again, telling her "no curls".

I emailed the teacher and HT and got no response, so emailed again a week later and the HT replied and said she thought it had been dealt with and that the school use the Nelson method of handwriting. At parents evening the teacher said that she prefers the (something) Nelson (can't remember what she called it. I also asked HT what happens if Class 5 or 6 prefer curls and make them do it that way again.

I asked the HT if it is right that a teacher can come in and demand the children write differently to suit herself, but she didn't respond to that point. The current year 3's are still being taught with curls, so they will have the same problem when they reach class 4. As it happens, the class 5 teacher is also new and has told them that she prefers the other way but she will accept their way as long as she can read it.

I would have thought that all teachers across the school should stick to one policy that the school teaches, not what they prefer personally? or AIBU?

Really need some perspective/advice before contacting the HT again, as DD is coming home in tears on a regular basis about the handwriting. She has had several problems with the teacher already, which is what is holding me back as I don't want to be one of "those" parents who is in there repeatedly about stuff!

I'm going to break with the other replies on here. Is there another Yr 4 class you can get your DD moved in to?

The teacher reminds me of DS's Yr 1 teacher. I should have used my instinct with her but didn't. By the summer term I had a 5 year old developing "headaches" to try and get out of school. A teacher who is so obsessed with perfection she won't accept curls on writing and requires all children to wear regulation socks and keep clothes tucked in and shouts at the class is, to put it bluntly, a complete cow and has no place teaching primary children.

Stop emailing the HT, book an appointment and tell the HT your child will be moved into the other class because the HT has not taken your concerns about this teacher seriously. My DS is now Yr 3 and I still regret not getting him moved out of that bloody woman's class. (She is no longer at DS' school and left at the end of his year)

CryingShame: This attitude is why people are leaving teaching. A teacher who wants kids to do homework and dress smartly - whatever next

Seriously Trifle?! I think a teacher should have more important things to worry about during the day than checking an 8 year olds socks and if their polo shirt is tucked in. Like perhaps, Teaching!

LemonBreeland: Yes, seriously. Children need boundaries. Looking neat and tidy during the school day helps them to separate learning time from play time, time to follow instructions from time to please themselves.

I would also be quite surprised if these were the teacher's individual rules rather than policy.

It's hard in the kids when no other teacher picks them up on uniform.

I've talked to lots of other parents and none of them like her atttude.

Sadly only one class for each year at the school so can't change.

I strongly believe in discipline etc but this teacher is a one woman crusade and very different to previous school ethos.

Kids should not be going to school crying because of the teacher.

So it sounds as though the uniform issues the children are having are school rules, and your complaint is that she enforces them?

I'm with trifle

Fuck em, bring back the cane! Discipline discipline discipline. How awful the children are allowed to go around like scruffy little oiks.

They'll never learn respect without a good old lash of the cane across the palm of their hands, for not adhering to school policy. little shits

Weak! that's what they are, going home and crying like little babies?

MysticTwat:

Obviously there's a line!

I just get irritated when people ha e a go at (usually) young teachers for doing their best to have an orderly classroom so the kids can learn. Criminal of them, isn't it?!

No, my point is that if she has an issue she should take it up with the parents who buy the stripy socks and give them to the child to wear, not have a go at a 7/8 yo who has no control over it. The only socks I could find last week were pink as I was busy and behind with the washing, not DD's fault that she had to wear them. Luckily they were hidden by her boots so teacher didn't know.

Polo shirts have always been worn outside skirts/trousers, now she is insisting they are tucked in. No other teacher worries about it.

I'm a firm believer in uniform.

The child is old enough to tell his or her parents that the socks are against the uniform rules. You are being precious. Get your child in the correct uniform and the teacher can stop enforcing the rules (which she probably has a manager telling her to do!) and teach your child.

My ds' school's uniform rule is quite lax, but they do get told off for shirt not tucked in properly.

But this handwriting issue is totally different. You can't expect children to change style every year.

Trifleorbust I disagree (and I've worked in teaching). A teacher shouldn't be making young children anxious about a convention like handwriting style which has already been taught a particular way. No way would I put up with someone trying to change my handwriting style so neither should a child.

If she is that bothered about socks send a note home to parents - or tell the child nicely to relay the message. Clearly the child themselves can't go out and buy new ones so why make them feel bad about it? She also shouldn't be setting her own uniform policy. If every other teacher allows uniform a certain way it's not her place to enforce a different rule.

My child is in the correct uniform thanks, always is apart from the one off pink socks which weren't seen by teacher anyway

NoCleanClothes: No, if the parent wants me to overlook a school rule, they can send a note.

The handwriting issue needs picking apart. The teacher may or may not be doing it right. She may just be doing what she is asked.

She also shouldn't be setting her own uniform policy. If every other teacher allows uniform a certain way it's not her place to enforce a different rule.

And of course this is right, but what if this IS the rule, and the other teachers don't enforce it?

That's great, OP but you want the teacher to ignore other children being in the wrong uniform, and sadly she can't do that without it being the primary school equivalent of erecting a big sign: "Ms X doesn't mind if you follow school rules." Not smart for a young teacher.

Oh goodness me! Sock problems for 7 year olds. Written uniform policy followed up by written notes to parents if there are continued problems! No hassle for one day of the wrong socks! Reminds me of Wallace and Grommit - The Wrong Trousers. Have an "Odd Sock Day" and raise money for charity.

The Head should be getting the vibe that not all is happy! Get the up to date handwriting policy. Make an appointment to see the Head. Explain your DD is upset. Don't fight the battles of others. A teacher should have good relationships with the children and anything less is not
good for learning.

Children do need to learn organisation and do things without constant reminders. My DD could remember homework at 4! By 7-8 it should be done to a timetable. Ask if she has the work when you collect her from school. If not, go back in and get it! Better still, they should have a homework log. Instil in your child that remembering things is good and I bet other children remember!
Just getting away with doing nothing because they forget all the time is not brilliant for the future.

Every child is different. DD has memory and concentration issues. She has emotional issues due to her father leaving when she was 3. She was under TAC but there is no more funding. School said try CAMHS, CAMHS said school should provide behavioural therapist , but no funding so not happened.

You can tell a child repeatedly to remember to bring things home but you can't make them do it. I rarely do school pickup so can't go back. It's frustrating for all concerned.

Once in assembly they cancelled an after school club, told the kids involved to tell reception to ring their parents. 7yo DD didn't hear this and first I knew was when irate school rang to ask why I hadn't picked her up . Irate me advised them that I had no idea it was cancelled.

School tried to help a bit by doing checklist of things to remember each night. One of them is check tray. The list is kept in the tray ..... so doesn't get checked .

No, if the parent wants me to overlook a school rule, they can send a note.

That's just plain stupid and you know it. Complain to the person responsible for the problem or you expose yourself as a petty tyrant. A fifteen year old is responsible for their school uniform a five year old isn't. If a parent can't be bothered to buy the right socks or has a washing screw up then if you're upset complain to them. A sensitive child might be seriously worried about this all day and it's going to disrupt their education.

And of course this is right, but what if this IS the rule, and the other teachers don't enforce it? Then she should be consistent with the rest of the school. She can't expect a bunch of little kids (who won't have read the uniform policy) to magically know that the rules they've been used to for a number of years have now changed without any forewarning.

It's important for a primary teacher to have a positive relationship with their students. This isn't achieved by changing expectations and being constantly negative when children fail to adapt.

NoCleanClothes: Ir's not stupid. Think it through. As the teacher I would be writing home to inform parents of what they knew already - what would be the point in that? Moreover, I would be doing this each and every time a child turned up in what their parents were aware was the wrong uniform, and moreover, I would be sending them the message that this was my problem rather than theirs. No. Clear rules at the outset mean that the parents should sending a politely worded note into school to say they know the uniform is wrong and it will be sorted by X date. That way I don't have to waste my time and can get on with teaching their child instead of reminding them of the rules.

Then she should be consistent with the rest of the school.

No. The other teachers should be consistent with the policy. But whether they are or not isn't her issue. She is following school policy, so if the Head can't be bothered making sure other teachers do the same that is his/her issue. I would simply refer this to the Head and say I have no authority to change the policy.

Are there any secondary teachers here who can verify the handwriting policy from Y7 onwards?

I feel there's such a big push for perfection in Primary, which in itself wouldn't be such a bad thing, if it was followed up in secondary education, otherwise what is the bloody point?

Well I am a secondary school English teacher. Legible and I am happy

No. The other teachers should be consistent with the policy

Then take it up with the rest of the teachers not a bunch of young children. You're happy to badger a little kid and make them anxious and unhappy at school but you're not happy to send a note home with parents who actually have control over the issue. What do you hope to achieve by upsetting a young child over an issue they have no control over? You're openly admitting to taking out issues you have with parents and other teachers not sticking to uniform policy on young children.

I'm glad my DC's teacher's aren't like you. They're all brilliant; clear expectations for children (not constantly changing) and work mainly through positive encouragement, never through fear. Children are never told off for anything that's out of their control (which even you have to admit is plain stupid). No shouting, just firm directions and consequences only for things that they can control over (if they're trying and not managing with something like handwriting they need positive encouragement and to focus on one aspect at a time).

Your attitude sounds horrible and somewhat lazy to be honest - shouting at kids and making them anxious might work short term but it can have negative long term consequences. You need to teach in a way that helps all children - including anxious ones. Kids in the UK have some of the worst levels of mental health in Europe. A huge proportion of calls to childlike are now due to stress coming from school. teachers need to take this serious and fortunately most do.