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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Crap - I've just become THAT parent

39 replies

Uhohimintrouble · 21/12/2016 20:00

NC due to specifics
Help me fix this please. I've just had my comment deleted off the class messenger system by the head.
I wasn't rude or abusive or anything.
Obviously will book a meeting and speak to her.
Will I be that parent forever? Will dd suffer as a result?? Can I say I'm unhappy at her censorship??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 21/12/2016 20:01

Might need some more detail

RockStonePebble · 21/12/2016 20:01

Depends entirely on what you said.

Original poster

Uhohimintrouble · 21/12/2016 20:10

She was apologising for the way parents were informed about a change due to concerned parents approaching her in playground but rest assured she always made decisions with the children's best interests at heart.
I said when were we informed about this because I knew nothing, (had to ask 5 year old dd) and she could add me to the concerned parents list as I wasn't sure how moving an experienced ta who knows the school & the kids to another class & leaving dd's class with a brand new graduate as a ta as well as a brand new teacher in January was in my child's best interests.

OP posts:

TweeBee · 21/12/2016 20:11

Will the teacher and TA you refer to have been able to see the message? I would imagine it wouldn't be nice for them to see that and to know that everyone else on the message group had seen it too.

Costacoffeeplease · 21/12/2016 20:14

That doesn't sound like something you should have put on an open group messenger system - is that what it was?

Crumbs1 · 21/12/2016 20:15

I think you have indeed become THAT parent. How the head deploys the staff is for the head to decide not the parents. Schools aren't run by playground committee and you have no idea (or right) to know the reasoning behind the decision. It might have been better to send a note home about a different teacher but even that isn't a right and they are busy this time of year. It might well be in best interests of a larger number of children rather than your little poppet alone.

SusanTrinder · 21/12/2016 20:15

I think you were rude.

How do you know that the new teacher and TA aren't the dog's bollocks?

You've basically said that you're shunning the Head's apology and are happy to publicly undermine him/her.

Your kids will be fine though, parents and pupils are entirely separate beings.

sooperdooper · 21/12/2016 20:16

You should've sent that as private message, not there for the TA and teacher concerned to read, and also the head was probably trying to stop others piling in on a big discussion

SausageD0g · 21/12/2016 20:17

That was rude.

Heirhelp · 21/12/2016 20:17

I agree that does not sound like an appropriate thing to put in a public message board. It is entirely up the headteacher to place staff as s/he sees fit in their professional opinion. If you are unable with something you should contact the head teacher directly.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 21/12/2016 20:17

You chose an inappropriate forum to air your views that is why it was deleted and you don't get to make staffing decisions. I'm not surprised it was removed.

monkeywithacowface · 21/12/2016 20:19

Yup you're "that" parent! You should have approached her in person, a schools parent forum isn't the place to question her management decisions.

NerrSnerr · 21/12/2016 20:20

That was rude. It's the head teacher's job to decide who covers what year and knows the skills of the staff. I'm sure you know better than the professionals though.

DixieWishbone · 21/12/2016 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockStonePebble · 21/12/2016 20:22

Surely you can see that it was inappropriate to make such a comment on an open forum?

You know nothing about this TA or NQT and have basically said that the decision the head has made is not good enough for your PFB. You are indeed THAT parent.

Original poster

Uhohimintrouble · 21/12/2016 20:22

Hmmm it's only a class messenger system so just the people in the class I think but maybe you're right and it was inappropriate.
So am I going to be that parent forever then???

OP posts:

RandomDent · 21/12/2016 20:23

I'm afraid you have.

You can fix it though. Use your meeting time to apologise to the head and assure them that you trust their decisions on deployment of staff.

NiceFalafels · 21/12/2016 20:25

YoU were probably just voicing what many parents were thinking. However she's only 5. It's not like she's doing A levels with an inexperienced teacher.

Original poster

Uhohimintrouble · 21/12/2016 20:25

Fwiw I couldn't speak to her in person since we finished at 2 & it was put online at 3:30 but ok grovelling apology it is then in the new year

OP posts:

Forgetmenotblue · 21/12/2016 20:26

I think it's a mismatch of expectations between you and the HT. In her mind she was ending a conversation, but you restarted it. Personally I think she was unwise to put her message on class messenger. It was only going to draw comments and further discussion, none of which are appropriate.

School staff aren't moved lightly. They might be dealing with a very problematic situation that they can't discuss with you.

NiceFalafels · 21/12/2016 20:26

At my DS's school most parents seem to have to intervene at some point. You will be one of many. It will pass.

Forgetmenotblue · 21/12/2016 20:29

Is fixable though. Email the HT ASAP, apologising and saying you posted in haste as you are worried about your DD. You realise it wasn't right to do that on a public message, and can you please have a quick chat with her in the new year? Merry Christmas and thanks for all you do for the children. Best wishes, UhOh.

All will be forgiven and forgotten by January.

titchy · 21/12/2016 20:30

Why do you even consider that you have a right to criticise the Heads decision? If your child has any issues with her teacher once she's in place then by all means involve the head in trying to sort things out, but whinging about a having a new teacher and ta is pretty outrageous. Poor head!

MsMims · 21/12/2016 20:32

What were you thinking

Yes you were rude and inappropriate, I'm not surprised it was deleted. I would be making an appointment to apologise and bring up any concerns in person, and definitely not complaining about her 'censorship'. Also, the head isn't answerable to you regarding which staff are appointed. Can you imagine if 60 odd parents had to choose and agree? It would be mayhem.

chickenowner · 21/12/2016 20:40

I hope that the teacher and TA didn't see it.

Imagine, they have both been being publicly criticized before they've even started the job!

You were rude, personal and nasty.

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