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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Crap - I've just become THAT parent

39 replies

Uhohimintrouble · 21/12/2016 20:00

NC due to specifics
Help me fix this please. I've just had my comment deleted off the class messenger system by the head.
I wasn't rude or abusive or anything.
Obviously will book a meeting and speak to her.
Will I be that parent forever? Will dd suffer as a result?? Can I say I'm unhappy at her censorship??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

user1477282676 · 21/12/2016 20:42

Why did you have to speak down to the head? It's odd really, when you're obviously now contrite...why even go there in the first place?

Original poster

Uhohimintrouble · 21/12/2016 20:44

Thank you forgetmenot I've already done that when she sent me a message to say she was deleting my comment apart from the posting in haste & concern for dd. Hopefully she'll be pragmatic & not hold a grudge.....

OP posts:

FearandLoathinginLasVegas · 21/12/2016 20:44

YABU. group messenger is not the right forum. that is a direct concern to head.

Forgetmenotblue · 21/12/2016 20:45

I think the OP has got the message by now!

People are fairly rude to HTs most of the time (used to be one, lots of friends still are HTs, not excusing it), a quick apology will sort it.

I bet the HT doesn't use class messenger like that again. It wasn't a great idea....

Forgetmenotblue · 21/12/2016 20:48

Don't worry UhOh, say you were stressed out by Christmas and DD was upset/overtired. You realise you over reacted etc.

It's not a big deal., IMVHO

Costalot1 · 21/12/2016 20:52

How would you think this will affect your dd?
Newly qualifieds are the most enthusiastic teachers a child can have! 2/3 teachers in my daughters year are NQ and they're great!

nat73 · 22/12/2016 11:03

TBH she should have informed you via a letter (if she was going to inform you) - at our school these things just happen... then you would not have been able to 'reply'. But probably you were a bit too hasty and honest.

I would send her an email or speak to her next term to apologise and say you realise the public forum was inappropriate and you apologise? Its the best you can do?

sirfredfredgeorge · 22/12/2016 11:55

A HT really needs to not use pointless platitudes about "childrens best interest", it's a phrase that has no meaning. Simply apologising for not informing and saying that TA x and TA y are excellent staff who she has full confidence in is the addendum to the apology, if it needed one at all.

But yes, you're pretty rude to respond in that way, but given the medium, I wouldn't be too worried about it, you agree now I'm sure that the HT was right to delete it, a simply apology and forget about it.

Pud2 · 22/12/2016 12:03

Yup, totally inappropriate comment on a totally inappropriate forum. Afraid your card is now marked. As others have said, an apology may go some way to improving the situation.

Didiplanthis · 31/12/2016 20:46

Not really to the point of the post but to reassure you my boys have an newly qualified teacher in reception and she is amazing, she looks really young and is really quiet but she has their total respect and they adore her and they are learning loads. It's a fantastic early years environment.

Witchend · 31/12/2016 21:12

Look, totally inappropriate as you now know, but for future use chat for thanks, lost uniform, what's the homework and what is generally small talk.

The point you raised is totally valid, but the way to approach it is quietly with the head along the lines of "I'd like to know what's been put in place to support my dd through this move."

And for what it's worth, the NQT in dd2's year was deputy head within 4 years, and a head a couple of years after that. Was the teacher (from about the second week in) that parents asked for.

Bitlost · 02/01/2017 10:48

We have a new graduate teacher this year and he's head and shoulder above any other teacher we've had.

Your message was inappropriate.

stoopido · 03/01/2017 20:43

Who cares if you have become "that' parent? You are the voice for your child and if you feel strongly about an issue then you should raise it. Perhaps one to one would have been a better option but the way I see it if you're unhappy about something then raise it. I have no qualms about becoming "that" parent, if the school is ticking every box then parents won't need to complain!

Witchend · 03/01/2017 21:16

Stoopido the problem with becoming that parent is if you're in complaining a lot over small things you won't be taken seriously if it is something that matters.
I rarely complain, but if I do I expect major action, and I generally get it too, not because I'm particularly assertive, but because people know tht it takes a lot for me to complain.
My dm was similar, I was telling my dc the other day that dm went in once while I was at primary about a child I was having problems with. Head's mouth dropped open when dm said who it was, and said "are you sure?"
Problem was sorted out by lunch time and I never had any issues again. Head knew that if dm complained then there was an issue. if she'd complained about every little action over the years he would probably have had a "okay, I'll investigate" soothing noise reaction.

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