Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

My child got bitten at school last week.

84 replies

NAB3 · 04/02/2007 08:07

The teacher hasn't told me and my son only told me on the way home on Friday. I can't sleep for being so upset. I am shaking at the thought of having to go in and speak to the teacher. It is a mutual dislike thing between us. DH is worried it will appear our son is a Mummy's boy who can't fight his own battles but he was bitten.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

crystalpony · 04/02/2007 16:49

I remember very well being outraged when my daughter was bitten at school, I felt like I pyshically wanted to beat the perpertrator up myself (they're both 5!!) I ranted on and on right up until it transpired that my daughter had done something similar to another child - a friend of hers - sometime earlier than this incident. This I never knew about....

I guess what I'm trying to say is that like it or not sometimes kids of that age communicate and react to furstration in a very pyshical way and I think for the most part they are not intrisincally evil and do grow our of it.

crystalpony · 04/02/2007 16:52

I so can't spell 'pyshical!' or 'furstrated'

mysonsmummy · 04/02/2007 23:41

totally agree crystalpony.

you are going to be in school with this other parent and her daughter for a number of years yet. if she knows you have these views of not only her (and we are all protective of our kids) but her daughter its not going to my life any easier for anyone.

Aloha · 04/02/2007 23:49

They are only five. Go and talk to the teacher but calmly. You only have one side of the story atm and it may be more complext than you know. I DO know it is horrible to think of your child being hurt at school, but my five year old who has Aspergers has bitten another child at school (he was using the computer to do French translation and another child kept barging in and hitting the keys randomly and ds bit him out of frustration). He and the other child were both given sanctions (no more computer time) and that was that. But I am horrified to think that one of the other parents thinks my child is just horrible when he is only five. And yes, I do tell him not to do it, and he is brought up properly, and he is also pushed about at school by other kids.

Original poster

NAB3 · 05/02/2007 12:56

I know what you are saying but this child is very naughty and spiteful and it is only to be expected the way she is being brought up. I have spoken to the teacher this morning.

OP posts:

Original poster

NAB3 · 05/02/2007 12:57

And if she is behaving like this at "only five" what will she be like when 8, 10, 14 if allowed to get away with it now? She isn't too young to be made to understand this is wrong.

OP posts:

Aloha · 05/02/2007 12:59

er, she didn't 'get away with it', she had to miss golden time. what do you want, flogging?

misdee · 05/02/2007 13:00

blood.

juuule · 05/02/2007 13:06

She hasn't 'got away with it'. She has been punished. How she is at 5yo could be a lot different to how she is at 6yo even. Children mature. What is it that you wanted to happen to her? She shouldn't have bitten. This was pointed out to her and she was punished for it. What more did you want done? I'm not really following your train of thought on this.

LaylaandSethsmum · 05/02/2007 13:06

NAB3 I know how hard these things are when they happen but try to keep in mind that , while at the moment you son is on the receiving end, in time he may be on the giving end and you would be in the same position as this girls mother.

singersgirl · 05/02/2007 13:12

I know the situation is different (this girl seems to have a history of aggressive behaviour), but my DS2, 5, bit someone at school a couple of weeks ago. He was punished - he went to see the headteacher and he missed his playtime. I didn't punish him again at home, as the matter had been dealt with.

He knows it is wrong to bite but another boy was grabbing him and wouldn't let go. I don't excuse it, but I think that at 5 children do sometimes make errors of judgment without being horrible children.

Original poster

NAB3 · 05/02/2007 13:14

I mean the message obviously isn't getting through to her that she has to stop picking on/bullying him as this has happened several times. There is no way on this earth my child would ever bite anyone. He is being brought up properly and knows right from wrong. If he ever did anything mean he would know in no uncertain terms that he was not to do it again. I am upset because the teacher didn't tell me and it isn't the first time. I don't want her to be physically punished obviously. It isn't about wanting more punishment for her. I just want her to leave him alone.

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 05/02/2007 13:16

When are you going to see the teacher nab? I can see that you are very upset and I can see why. However what is your specific argument with the teacher? Is it that 1: she didn't inform you? or 2: the child needs to be punished more to stop it happening again?

If it's just 1, then you need to speak to the teacher about the school policy on it. Our school only informs the parents of an injury if it's a head injury otherwise only if the child is taken to the office for treatment of some kind. I guess other schools have other ways of dealing with it. If it's 2, then I'm afraid you need to leave it up to the teacher's discretion - it's her job, as you said earlier, to keep your child safe and you have to trust her to do it. If you think that she isn't doing that job properly you should speak to her about your child, not about the other child if that makes sense.

Either way dealing with the biter isn't your responsibility. And I'd be eternally grateful for that fact TBH .

LaylaandSethsmum · 05/02/2007 13:18

"There is no way on this earth my child would ever bite anyone" Of course there is a chance he might , given the right cirumstances, he may also, kik, hit scrath , pull hair, name call..these are just as bad.The girl cannot be punished indefinately, she has been dealt with she has lost a priveledge so the punishment was age appropriate, but yes you should have been told, but that is an issue between you and the school.

singersgirl · 05/02/2007 13:19

I'm glad you're so confident about your child!

My child has also been brought up properly and knows right from wrong, but he is 5 and found himself in a position where he felt powerless. He knows it was wrong and he's mortified.

Original poster

NAB3 · 05/02/2007 13:19

I think I am most upset I wasn't told. The teacher didn't know anything about it when I spoke to her this morning. . I am not expecting to have any say in how the children are disciplined at all. I just want my son to go back to wanting to go to school and not to worry he is going to be physically hurt.

Have to go. DD age 3 1/2 wants me to do "smelly bum". Her brother may be in need of a change....

OP posts:

Aloha · 05/02/2007 13:19

you are realling pissing me off tbh. several posters inc myself have said their five year olds have bitten, while beingh supportive and i find your horrible, smug last post really offensive tbh.

Twiglett · 05/02/2007 13:20

NAB .. if there's no way on earth your child would ever bite someone then you're lucky that you have that type of child .. it is not in the main parenting some children don't bite

I count myself fortunate that neither of mine are biters ..

you obviously have an issue with an ongoing bullying situation and obviously you should address it

ask for a copy of their anti-bullying policy and ask how it applies to a 5 year old

Original poster

NAB3 · 05/02/2007 13:20

I do know my child. He is nearly 6 and has never physically hurt another child. He just wouldn't think to do it.

OP posts:

juuule · 05/02/2007 13:21

"There is no way on this earth my child would ever bite anyone". I'm sorry but you cannot guarantee that. You can only hope.
"He is being brought up properly and knows right from wrong." So was my ds1 but he bit someone in retaliation for something. The teacher didn't see what happened and only my ds was punished. He never bit again.
Is this your first child?
I think you need to discuss this with the teacher if only to get it off your chest.

Original poster

NAB3 · 05/02/2007 13:21

I wasn't meaning to be smug at all. I just was saying what I think about my child. I appreciate all the support, of course I do, and I don't have any critical thoughts against any of you who have said their child is a biter. THIS is just about one child who has been consistently mean to my child.

OP posts:

juuule · 05/02/2007 13:22

Then you do need to speak to the teacher about the constant mean-ness and see what she suggests.

singersgirl · 05/02/2007 13:55

I understand why you're upset, of course, and it is important that your child is not repeatedly hurt. DS2 was on the receiving end of some sustained aggression from another boy last year, which culminated in the other boy shutting DS2's finger in a door. I was confident that the school did everything they could to make DS2 feel safe, and I realise this is what you want for your child.

BTW, DS2 has never bitten anyone before, and I was surprised and horrified.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/02/2007 17:59

Sorry, but ditto what Aloha said.

You are fortunate that your DS hasnt - as far as you are aware - lashed out at another child. Because that's all it boils down to - luck.

I am pondering just who is the bully here now, because you really seem to have it in for a 5 year old child. The vitriol you are spewing about a 5 year old child is really quite distasteful.

i speak as a parent who's child suffered at the hands (teeth??) of a biter at nursery. I know that the other parent was absolutely mortified and was doing her best to deal with it. It doesnt fix itself instantly over night though.

Aloha · 05/02/2007 18:02

God, my typing on that last post! In my defence, dd is ill and was asleep in my arms while I typed. I think I bring my children up very well indeed, as it happens.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread