calling Bink pinotmum mrsMaple Tinygang glassofwine earlybird frogs ellbell hallgerda mimsie singergirl and sphil - help with my day dream believer please

[indignatio]

I have spent a most enjoyable time on MN today reading about dreamers and laughing out loud.
I have a ds who is now a 4.5 yo in reception and has got over his whirling dervish phase (many thanks for the advice - what worked was a high carb snack and smoothie after school - less playdates and taking him out of school 2 afternoons a week)
However the dreaminess continues. After my initial concern over the teacher's attitude, we have got to know each other (I help 2 mornings a week in class). She has moved positions from being exasperated to accepting (well that's just xxx) and now to concerned.
The teacher informed me on Tuesday that she was trying to find out what ds knew and what he had problems with. She mentioned testing his sequencing ability. She said that we would have a meeting at the end of her assessment.
I would like to be forwarned as to possible suggestions (dx too stong a word) that she might come up with. I have today been looking at:
1.dyspraxia
2.pdd - including autism and aspergers - I did JimJams test and he came out with 44 - so no real worries there (I do appreciate the limiations of such an online test)
3.hearing problems
4.sight problems

Personally I consider him to be a geek in training (doesn't help that he comes from a long line of geeks on both sides of the family).

He is smart, clever, a fidgit, a loner (not really made any real friends yet), unmotivated by tasks such as dressing (consequently slow and poor at them), a visual learner, subtle thinker (thanks bink for that one) and a boy who is more interested in where his mind takes him (wildly off tangent) than day to day stuff

I have found out from my sil that her eldest is still the same at 13

I will try the black towel as suggested - also something to pull him back to the real world (not sure letter in pocket would work just yet) - but any other suggestions for both me and the teacher would be most appreciated

Many thanks

Thanks both of you - Iots to think about in your posts and very useful.

Pickledcat - I did think about migraines but forgot you can get the visual symptoms without the headache. However, he says (quite matter of factly) that he has the lines all the time, so I don't think it could be that. You are so right about the day dreaming being a response to stress - this morning in swimming he appeared to switch off completely when the teacher asked them all to get out of the pool so they could jump in. The teacher had to tell him about six times - he just seemed in a world of his own. When I asked him afterwards he said he didn't hear because he was thinking about Joe 90!

Glassofwine - glad to hear your DD had a positive reaction to moving. DS's new school is very geared up to SN - has a language unit on site, learning mentors in each classroom and a special school next door (which will soon be moving on site). I'm going to have a chat with the SENCO when he starts and then let them monitor him for half a term or so. If we feel there are still problems we'll get him assessed. Some of the posters on the SN board have suggested behavioural optometry and I think we'll do that sooner rather than later.

DS has so many similarities with all the children on this thread - some have dx, some not - and I'm really not sure which way we'll go. Atm I think it's likely we'll go for assessment - but there are times I've been just as convinced it would be counter-productive.

Sorry - should have explained that DS hates jumping in, so the withdrawal into Joe 90 world could well have been a response to this.

It made me laugh and feel sad at the same time - when he did eventually get out, he kept running to the back of the line so he wouldn't have to jump in. Was ages before the teacher noticed. And then when he did get to the front of the line he wouldn't even jump in holding the teacher's hand (which he will normally do). He had to lower himself in very gingerly from a sitting position. It's as if all his sensory, auditory and visual perception difficulties, which are usually very mild, have suddenly become hugely magnified.

It's great that we all can come onto this thread, I do think that knowing you/your child is not alone in this is wonderful help. If anyone agrees, I shall start a new thread (rather like the antenatal threads) where we can all give our childs stats (such as age/class (reception/yr1 - rather than lower/middle\upper !!) and post when we are going through a particularly difficult time - knowing that others may have wise words.
Just post yes/no if you think that such a thread would be useful.

Hallgerda - my english teacher always used to say "He who fails to plan, plans to fail". So teaching planning before embarking on any activity has surely got to be a good life skill. I do understand where you are coming from on the "why are they stressing so much with his social skills". There are children in ds' class who cannot recognise their own name, yet the teacher is fretting about my son fidgiting at carpet time - go figure.

Spil - I have read on MN about facial tics and being stressed - will try to find a link
What is your thoughts as to whether he is making up the fuzzy lines - my gut reaction would be no.

Pickled cat - thank you for your post it did make interesting reading

Glassofwine - so lovely to read such a positive history - thank you

Indignatio - yes please!

Your reply to Hallgerda is so true. I think DS1's teacher (perhaps without even realising) expects him to be at the same level in social and organisational skills as he is academically. I think even we are guilty of that sometimes.

And no - I'm positive he's not making up the lines. I know when he's making stuff up - he's a terrible liar! (Has to hold the corners of his mouth down to stop himself from smiling, which is a bit of a giveaway

indignatio - I think the new thread is a very good idea.

Glassofwine, I'm very glad to hear your daughter's getting on better now

Quickly - yes, Indignatio, I think a new thread's a good idea too. Lack of concentration now seems to be an issue with both of mine. While we've been on holiday this last week my happy, chatty, interested small boy (DS2) has returned, has read loads, has asked loads of questions ("Why was carol singing banned in churches?"). DH chose 'school' when playing Hangman with DS2 and when he guessed it he said "Why have you chosen such a boring word for a boring place?"

Have Inset day so off to the Museum of London to look at Roman and Victorian London.

Hi all - can't believe I've not been here for weeks.

Pickledcat, thank you for your fascinating post - lots and lots of things I recognise (my son will be 8 in April, also year 3). He was meant to be having a physio assessment this morning - I was rather excited about it, because it's the one thing we haven't done for him before - but physio is off sick. I'm particularly interested that it was the physio who picked up your daughter's tongue-movement difficulties - my ds has exactly that, and we get tears of frustration when I try to get him to practise words like "well" and "elm" - lifting & flattening the sides of his tongue, as you have to do for that, seems to be completely beyond him.

I will make sure I mention that when getting the re-scheduled physio assessment, so thank you!

Nothing else more to report for the moment, other than that a visual timetable seems to be working well - not for the more typical purpose of avoiding transition-anxiety, as ds doesn't have transition problems, but to help exactly with the planning that indignatio's teacher talked about (I can just imagine her magisterial booming of the phrase ).

Singersgirl - exactly the same thing happens to DS1 in the holidays!

Bink, the physio said to put a blob of chocolate spread or something on her upper lip and lower lip and get her to try to lick it off, then do the same for either side. She hated chocolate spread (can't be my DD !) but had a go anyway. For ages she really couldn't get it moving but she kept practising and now can. I see her sitting there sometimes having a go even now which is a good couple of years later.

new thread