In a nosy moment I opened this thread, hope I'm not butting in.
Sphil, could it be possible that your son is having the visual disturbance that you can get prior to a migraine ? I have had them on their own without a migraine before. It gives you a fuzzy line in your vision, mine is always on the periphery.
It's quite a long thread to go through with loads of information and I thought of loads of things to individual points as I went up but have forgotten them all again.
I wonder if it might be helpful to tell you all a bit about my DD ? She is 8 and in Year 3. I had always felt that everything was always harder work than it should be but could never understand why. When she got to reception she could hardly hold a pencil but she had a fantastic imagination and I told myself that they all develop at different speeds and her imagination and ability to think around a subject was her main strength at that time and the rest would follow.
Her speech was pretty unclear. A couple of HVs had totally dismissed it when finally a new one came to see me when I was expecting my DS. DD happened to be there and the first thing she did when DD was out of the room was ask if I was happy with her speech and said she thought we should get her referred. That was shortly before she started school.
At the first parents evening I was discussing pencil grip, concentration and the speech therapy referral with her teacher. I came home with a nagging feeling realising I had read something on here in connection with these things and started reading up on dyspraxia. It was one of those lightbulb moments when so many things fitted into place for me. DH was unconvinced at first as was my mother who argued strongly that labelling wouldn't help and she was just developing at her own speed.
I approached her teacher and said I thought there was a good chance she was dyspraxic. The teacher said they usually give them a term to settle in before involving the SENCO but if I was happy she would get her in for an assessment.
DD then got referred to the community paed who was a horrible terrifying man (completely unsuitable for his job !) who said that she definitely wasn't dyspraxic because she could do some of the exercises he gave her but did refer her off to the co-ordination clinic at the local hospital, having pretty much laughed at the list I had spent ages making of the things I felt were an issue.
A few weeks later we marched into the Co-ordination clinic, again, me clutching my list ( I had a 6 week old DS at that point and was completley sleep deprived). She had an 1.5 hour long assessment and for the first time I felt that someone understood her. They didn't commit themselves to a diagnosis for some time but DD started a program of OT & Physio. When finally the diagnosis letter came it was from the new Community paed with a dx of dypraxia, hypermobility, hypotonia & speech delay.
In reception she had a best friend who she played with to the exclusion of all other children. They fell out after reception and she did struggle for a couple of years. I've worked very hard on trying to get her to play with as many children as possible and we have people round regularly to play. This has really helped her socially and increased her confidence.
She is currently having speech therapy. When she got to the physio she got her to try to move her tongue, I was pretty gobsmacked to see that it wouldn't move up and down or side to side properly. We got her going on her speech and it improved to a certain level but has needed SALT which she is doing now. She finds it very difficult to maintain appropriate eye contact during a conversation, wiggles around & has had problems regulating the level of her voice. I often have to say things to her a number of times before she will respond.
The practical help that she has received is the OT, physio & speech therapy. She gets one on one sessions with the SENCO, has a number of triangular pens, grips etc, a writing board in class. When she became really demotivated in Year 1 with her writing the classroom assistant would act as a scribe so she didn't get put off contributing as was happening.
We have found that when things go bad socially for her she becomes very distracted in the classroom. There seem to be huge peaks and troughs in how things are. On a fairly even keel at the moment thank goodness but we have all sorts of hurdles to deal with in the next couple of years, the transition to middle school being a big one.
The diagnosis has opened lots of doors for us and it has helped DD understand that there is a good reason why she finds things harder than the other children. Finding things outside school that she can do and enjoys has really helped her self confidence. She does drama at her request having seen a video of a play that her friend's older sister was in. This has really really helped her confidence. We're having trouble getting her out of the group that she should have moved up from a year ago but her drama teacher is great and doesn't want to push her and undo all the good that has come from it so far. She also plays the piano and has a completely fantastic teacher who is a retired first school teacher and works round DD perfectly. The auditory feedback from the pressure she needs to apply to the keys has helped her manage her pencil pressure a little I think.
At home we have to try to be as organised as possible to make things easy for her which will be increasingly important in two years time at Middle School when she will have to be much more independent (not sure I will be sleeping when she goes !) I will be going to make sure that all the teachers understand that when she looks as if she is daydreaming she is often stressed and switching off or is still listening ie is not to be told off for this.
She will probably be transferring to a keyboard at some point to keep up but we're working on her writing as much as possible. The psychologist is on standby if needed for next year when apparently some children do get very stressed about the impending school move.
Developmentally I have found she goes in bursts. Sometimes the difference between her and the others seems big, other times much smaller. The physio says this will be the pattern all the way along and we are able to ring up and have a further lot of sessions at the co-ordination clinic when we feel she needs it which according to them may be in about 2 years time.
Sorry this is so long, there is so much I have missed out I think that I have just got used to. I am really pleased how she is doing, under no illusions that the next few years will be easy. But the key thing for us looking back over the last few years has been the diagnosis which has given us access to professional help and I do feel to a large extent pretty well supported. Hope somewhere in this long burble there is something that might be useful to someone !