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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

I am so fuming - can't believe a teacher would be so insensitive !!

87 replies

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:24

'Scuse me while I rant - would be good to hear what you think !!

So - collecting dd from Y1 today - it's Friday they're all tired and ready to drop, they are all milling around and teacher comes out and says very loudly to one mum that her dd is being invited to join the Gymnastics club ! Cue at least three other little girls asking their mums if they can join, so teacher says "No -it's by invitation only" and three little girls start to cry !

Is it me or is that a bloody insensitive way to do that ??

Bad enough that they are "selecting" at 5/6 without the poor little things having it thrust upon them that they haven't been picked !!

Am so angry !!

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TrinityRhino · 26/01/2007 16:26

I would be annoyed by that
It wasn't neccessary to do it that way and was rather thoughtless on the teachers part

Spidermama · 26/01/2007 16:28

Sorry to be unsupportive, and you're going to hate me for this but I have to be hones.

I think it's fine. We can't all have everything we want in life and some people are better at thngs than others. That's life. Good for the teacher to be honest and not slinjk around picking people behind closed doors in a sneaky way. That would be worse.

For me it shows more about these girls, who think they can go through life getting everything they want and burst out crying when they don't get it.

Original poster

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:29

Oh FGS "These Girls" as you put it are 5.5 and 6 !

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Spidermama · 26/01/2007 16:30

My son goes to rugby but often doesn't get picked for the team when they have a match. He's fine with it. It's good preparations. It means if he wants to be in the team badly enough he'll go more or try harder. Kids get things on a plate these days and it doesn't do them any favours.

Spidermama · 26/01/2007 16:31

My son is 7. He's been going to rugby since he was 5. It teaches him so much at so many levels and I'm really glad they don't mince around pandering. It means if he ever does get picked or wins the medal, he knows it's real.

TrinityRhino · 26/01/2007 16:32

sorry spider but I find that a little offensive
my dd1 would have cried about that on a friday night, tired. she is very sensitive and would have been genuinely upset not to be able to join. nothing to do with 'these girls' who think they can get whatever and cry when they don't

TrinityRhino · 26/01/2007 16:33

I mean do parents really need to have their day made harder when the teacher could have just spoken to the parent privately
I don't mean that my kids should never see that sometimes you get picked and sometimes you don't but they don't need to learn it like that.

Original poster

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:33

But in MY opinion there are ways of telling them - not just barking it across a playground !

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wurlywurly · 26/01/2007 16:35

surely it would have been better to have sent a slip or letter home informing the parents that their child had been selected for gymnastics club (if they would like to attend)

handlemecarefully · 26/01/2007 16:38

Year 1 - they are still little. Timing is everything. They are knackered at the end of the week. I'm sure they would, in their own good time, learn that the gymnastics club is selective and would accept this quite happily but they don't need this delivered in a 'in yer face' way... after the end of long week.

Very wanky of the teacher imo

shimmy21 · 26/01/2007 16:38

Sounds very weird to me that they would have a selective gym club at yr 1 at all! I mean for crike's sake - what about equal opportunity for all etc etc??

handlemecarefully · 26/01/2007 16:39

Absolutely shimmy - and I thought that the current thrust was to tackle childhood obesity by promoting more exercise and activity (as well as better eating)

Original poster

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:40

Absolutely wurlywurly ! That's what I'd have expected !

The others would have found out soon enough - I am so disappointed in this teacher who I had really really liked up until that point !

Don't know why they can't all have a go at gymnastics anyway - they have literally had about 3 sessions and that's it now - judgements made and only a couple get to go further with it !

dd has just about stopped sobbing now !

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Twiglett · 26/01/2007 16:41

I think the policy is out of order .. every child should have an opportunity to be part of a sports club

yes the teacher was insensitive and a note home would have sufficed

Original poster

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:42

Shall I complain then - or will they just think I am an overprtotective loon like Spidermama does ?

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Lilymaid · 26/01/2007 16:42

I agree that children have to learn that they won't be selected for everything. However, teachers should be sensitive about the way they tell those who aren't selected.

Roobie · 26/01/2007 16:44

A gymnastic club for 5/6 year olds is hardly going to be full of potential elite gymnasts - why not let anyone who wants join? Those with real talent will still shine through.
The teacher sounds like a prat.

Twiglett · 26/01/2007 16:46

actually I do know a 5 year old boy who could do perfect handstands (for 20 seconds) and cartwheels with NO training .. he is a born natural and is now in a gym club with 8 year olds

compo · 26/01/2007 16:47

The whole thing seems really strange. What's the school/teachers like in general?

shimmy21 · 26/01/2007 16:48

I do agree with you but one note of caution - please remeber that teachers do lunchtime /after school clubs out of their own precious planning/preparation/meeting/marking time. It's likely that this teacher has a real interest in taking a gym club with a small group of children who have some ability. No child has a 'right' to do extra curricular activities. If you go in all guns blazing then she has every right to say well if it's going to be too controversial I just wont take the club.

Agreed - she handled it badly and it seems a well strange decision to me to select but I'd take the softly softly approach of how interested your dd is to join and how do you apply?

Original poster

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:49

Yes I agree - I assumed that the "gym club" wss like any other after school club - but presumed they picked the best ones to do displays etc. However clearly they only invite the best to join - dd never stood a chance after 3 gym lessons !

They do seem to take gymnsatics quite seriously at this school ! They compete in lots of competitions - and to be honest I wouldn't want dd to be in the squad as they train a lot and I couldn't do it with my work commitments - but still I thought she's get to join the club, do a few handstands and forward rolls etc....

Never mind - school of hard knocks commences - she's learned that she's not been picked for something now - she'll get over it - but my heart is breaking for her !

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Original poster

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:49

Never mind - school of hard knocks commences - she's learned that she's not been picked for something now - she'll get over it - but my heart is breaking for her !

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Original poster

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:52

Shimmy - the teacher who delivered the message is the class teacher not the gym teacher - I would be complaining to the head about the policy !

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wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 26/01/2007 16:53

agree with spidermama. Children have to learn that they can't always be picked. Yes they're young but at what age do you stop doing it on the quiet and decide they're old enough to know when they've not been picked? 5? 6? 10? 16? When I was at school we had an annual prize giving where all those who had achieved something over the year were presented with whatever award they had won, be it sport, academical or otherwise (I won senior orator of the year for debating when I was 15 but never anything else). Attendence was compulsory to all, and that included the very youngest (it was a school that had all students from starting age to leaving iyswim). Many children didn't get prizes, and I don't remember it being a secret that some of their class mates had got prizes and some hadn't.

Original poster

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:55

Yes they do that at this school too - so she's experienced that since she was 3 in their nursery ! they do "Friday stickers" every Friday and only one or two get them each week - makes it very special for them when they do earn one !

However - I think gym club is a bit different !

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