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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

I am so fuming - can't believe a teacher would be so insensitive !!

87 replies

scatterbrain · 26/01/2007 16:24

'Scuse me while I rant - would be good to hear what you think !!

So - collecting dd from Y1 today - it's Friday they're all tired and ready to drop, they are all milling around and teacher comes out and says very loudly to one mum that her dd is being invited to join the Gymnastics club ! Cue at least three other little girls asking their mums if they can join, so teacher says "No -it's by invitation only" and three little girls start to cry !

Is it me or is that a bloody insensitive way to do that ??

Bad enough that they are "selecting" at 5/6 without the poor little things having it thrust upon them that they haven't been picked !!

Am so angry !!

OP posts:

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MummyPenguin · 27/01/2007 20:54

Teacher was being a bit of an arse.

That's my only contribution to this one.

morningpaper · 27/01/2007 20:57

Teacher was clumsy oaf but the REAL problem to me is a selective gym clubs at 5/6 - that makes me HORRIFIED

harpsichordcarrier · 27/01/2007 20:57

wanky policy, wankily applied.
imo

Lizzylou · 27/01/2007 21:05

I'd be annoyed too, and agree that a selective gym club at age 6 is bonkers. Your DD isn't even going to be allowed to practice gymnastics in order to improve (unlike Spidermama's son with his rugby training).
All very strange imo

harpsichordcarrier · 27/01/2007 21:17

yes, mp put it better
selective gym at 6????
bonkers.

Greensleeves · 27/01/2007 21:19

Honestly, some primary teachers need to make a real effort to cultivate adult company in their free time - some of them are a teeny bit too bound up in the world of the child, IMO

Blandmum · 27/01/2007 21:25

TBH if I was though a clumsy oaf, insensitive, an arse and a disapointment , enforcing a wanky policy I'd think, 'fuck it, I'll go home at 3.30, watch something mindless on tv and eat biscuits, let the parents run the club'.

Elasticwoman · 27/01/2007 21:32

It would be interesting to know on what criteria pupils were selected! Was every child given the chance to express an interest and compete for places? By the sound of the way the teacher informed the parent, I doubt it. If pupils were selected in an unfair way, the other pupils are entitled to be miffed (and their mothers).

But I agree with MP that it is crazy to be selective about 5/6 year olds anyway.

morningpaper · 27/01/2007 21:34

actually harpsichordcarrier I think YOU put it better

MerryMarigold · 27/01/2007 21:43

absolutely martianbishop. maybe the teacher didn't have time in between playground duty, lunch duty and teaching to write a personal note to the child's parent. teachers get such a hard time these days for the smallest of 'mistakes' as people's darling children are SO PRECIOUS!!! i am not a teacher, but my mum was and my sister is (fantastic teachers). give them a break - bet most of you couldn't or wouldn't do it for a living.

Skribble · 27/01/2007 22:06

DS's class has 3 after school activities this term he didn't get into them all, they were selected by drawing names combined woith letting evryone who wanted go to at least one club, I doubt at this age they were selected on ability most likely selected ramdomly from those interested as numbers will be limited.

If they want to do gymnastics that much there are classes away from school again they are not selected by ability at this age, but if classes are popular there will be a waiting list.

Teacher had to say something, shame the girls were upset but what could the teacher do say "yes you can all come" and go above the numbers they are allowed to coach.

harpsichordcarrier · 27/01/2007 22:12

sorry mb, I don't think it is unsupportive of teachers in general to point out what a wanky policy this is tbh.

pointydog · 27/01/2007 22:42

mb, come on You're used to this and there's more important things you can be getting wrapped up in

Blandmum · 28/01/2007 08:37

I just get a bit twitchy when there is an almost constant stram of irritation against teachers

First up, no teacher is perfect, we are all human. Hands up anyone who has never make a cock up in work? For that matter, hands up anyone who has never made a cock up with their own kids?

Understandibly we all wasnt perfection for our kids... we all want the best. But it is unreasonable to Demand perfection from ordinary , everyday humans who will, on times, fuck up. Especialy if they have had a tough day/ have other things on their mind.

I'm not talking here about professional imcompetence, just your normal slip up.

And in the end you get the feeling that we can never get it right. For every teacher lambasted on MN for giving too much home work, there is another who is hounded for not giving enough, Some are berated for not changing the books often enough, others are despised for forcing children to read too young.

I can fully understand that parents may not always be happy with the situation, but please, teachers are people. We all cock up on times.

Blandmum · 28/01/2007 08:49

If I was running an after school club (in my own time, unpaid) and it engendered such dislike of me, I really don't think that I would bother. I know that life isn't a popularity contest, and you don't expect people to fall at your feet fainting with gratitude , but tbh if this is what happens, I'd go home on time, do my marking and eat biscuits.

I suppose that there might be problems with insurance etc, but you could always ask the school if you could run an 'open' gym club on another day.

roisin · 28/01/2007 15:20

I do agree MB, and on a bad week one parent complaining could really tip the balance.

Two days a week I run (two different) reading groups during my lunchbreak: this means I don't really get a break at all for the entire day, and I do all the p&p for it in my own time. I lend the children books of my own from home, because there is little funding for books, and I quite often print out resources at home.
In addition SMT seem to regard it as a huge privilege for me to run this group
I do enjoy it, but mainly because it's benefitting the children and encouraging them to read more and be more enthusiastic about reading.

If a parent complained about it - I can't think why they would though (we welcome all-comers) - it could be the last straw tbh.

Hulababy · 28/01/2007 15:26

I think the teacher handled it all wrong and was insensitive to the other girls. It is much easier to send a slip home in a message folder, or to speak to the mum quietly int he classroom. To say it infront of the other girls and then say "no, you can't come" type of thing is insensitive, especially for little 5 and 6 year olds.

No problems with the club itself, but it should be stated somewhere that the club is selective/invitation over for pupils demonstarting xxx talents.

And I speak as an ex teacher - so not having a go at teachers/schools in general.

How did the teacher react to her young pupils upset?

mamama · 28/01/2007 15:27

A selective club in a primary school is totally inappropriate as is publicly inviting a child, particularly such a young one.

I think I'd want to know more about the gym club and why it's selective - I suppose there may be a good reason but I can't think of one...

Hulababy · 28/01/2007 15:28

I do like the idea though of not complaining about the club, but suggesting to the teachers/school that there might be a demand for a general gym club if there was someone to run it.

As I said before, it is the teacher's way of dealing with this in the OP I would have problems with, not the idea of the club though.

danceswithnewboots · 28/01/2007 16:21

MB - glad you are around, saves me writing the same post as you
Honestly, teachers are such an easy target but luckily we are all super human and finely attuned to the sensitivities of every mother and their darling offspring at all times so not to worry I'm sure such an ATROCIOUS thing as speaking in a loud voice about a child's success will NEVER happen again.

WriggleJiggle · 29/01/2007 00:27

Mental note - must remember never to praise a child infront of their peers incase it upsets anyone, and as for 'special assembly' on Fridays just before hometime, well, I'd better cancel that as well.

WTF!!!!!
In my school we teach children celebrate the successes of others. The children consider themselves to be good sports if they offer congratulations for achievements. This attitude goes all the way through the school. Its just seen as a normal part of living in the school community.

Greensleeves · 29/01/2007 00:37

But this wasn't an example of a teacher encouraging the children to celebrate the successes of others. Presented that way, and timed appropriately, I'm sure these little girls would have been capable of being pleased for their peer and accepting that she had been awarded something special not available to everyone.

That's not what happened though, is it? These little girls didn't know the gym club was selective. Nothing had been explained to them. They saw one of their peers being asked to join and felt excited - they wanted the chance to join too, naturally enough. The teacher dropped this on them in a clumsy and insensitive way, last thing on a Friday. It's not surprising they were upset. Ham-handed at best. And if teachers think this is good enough, then no wonder they get so much stick.

WriggleJiggle · 29/01/2007 00:45

But having read the thread I still can't see how the techer dropped this on them in a clumsy and insensitive way. Surely all she did was to tell them it was invitation only. Maybe I've missed something?

Greensleeves · 29/01/2007 00:49

The little girls the OP mentions clearly didn't even know there was a gym club. They certainly didn't know it was selective. Their first knowledge of it was being told "your friend can go, but you're not good enough, so you can't". If you think that's the way to get the best out of six year olds, good luck to you!

dejags · 29/01/2007 05:14

Having an exclusionary "club" which is part of the school is wrong IMO. If it's school based, everybody should be allowed to take part or at least try out. So from this perspective I would be a bit peeved.

DS1 is in Y1 and cannot do tennis because it's full (it's the compulsory sport for girls). I don't particularly like this as it's sexist to presume that he'd prefer cricket. It's the school policy though and to be angry at his class teacher about it would be wrong.

I totally agree that children need to understand that they can't have everything in life. It won't kill them to know that somebody else has or does something they don't/cannot do.

As for the way the teacher told the mum that the little girl had been selected - I think the OP is being oversensitive. The child had been selected - I don't see why the teacher should go to unnecessary effort to impart this information. It's not like she has nothing else to occupy her time with.

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