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Original poster

Reception class son not meeting targets

80 replies

mrgrouper · 07/07/2016 17:02

My son is 4 and has an August birthday so is one of the youngest in his class.
I try to help him with his reading but he absolutely hates anything to do with school work.
I spoke to the teacher today who said he had not met his year targets. I am really worried about him and feel I am failing as a mum. It is difficult because he just is not interested at all.

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cbigs · 07/07/2016 22:52

Same here op my dd was July birthday and behind in reception . I bought all the do at home sticker books etc really worried about it , now she's end of year one ahead in her reading. Exactly as others are saying he'll totally get there it just clicks. I'd take the pressure off and find stuff he wants to read like whatever he's into maybe. But don't push it . And don't worry!! BrewSmile

Original poster
mrgrouper · 15/07/2016 15:30

Well got the report and it was worse than expected. There are about 20 targets and he only got expected in 2.
Downloading the Nessy education app now.

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Original poster
mrgrouper · 15/07/2016 15:43

well he spent about 2 minutes on the Nessy app and is now on Subway Surfers. He hated the app :(

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Pootles2010 · 15/07/2016 15:54

Same boat here Op (it must be a big one eh!), its so bloody hard I know. DS had a great teacher this year (yr 1) who has gotten him really fired up.

The key seems to be getting them to read/write what they enjoy. DP found him some Marvel reading books on Amazon, they're good. Sometimes I can persuade him to write a few lines about his favourite thing at the time (Optimus Prime or whatever!). They have a thing at school, where they build something in the construction corner, if they want to keep it for the next day, they have to write 3 lines about it. That seems to work pretty well.

Original poster
mrgrouper · 16/07/2016 11:11

His teacher is the SENCO and she thinks it is far too early to say he has special needs. I have dyspraxia and ASD. He is definitely not ASD but I think he may be dyspraxic.
He saw a child psychologist last year privately (I had far more money then than I have now) and she said it was too early to diagnose dyspraxia as he was meeting his milestones.
What annoys me is I did not want him to start school as I thought he was not ready, being an August baby. I have a friend who is a teacher and she recommended I start him, because if he took a year out the school would just start him in year 1.

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catkind · 16/07/2016 11:34

It's really sad that in reception he sees school stuff as work and not fun. Makes me wonder about the teaching tbh.

Re the reading, why not ditch reading books over the summer and play some games with it. Try something like teach your monster to read or alphablocks if he likes playing on the computer. Or just playing with fridge magnet letters or foam bath letters or something. Play I spy. Write each other secret messages. Read shop signs. But I'd probably not even mention letters for the first couple of weeks if school have put him off that much.

My two are complete bookworms, top of the class, but neither were that into reading actual books until after they were very confident with reading words. A whole year after in DD's case. He's very young, he will get it, he probably just needs more time and less pressure.

Original poster
mrgrouper · 16/07/2016 11:49

Thanks. I am really worried as I am starting teacher training (secondary school) in September and so poor son is going to be stuck in after school club every day. Not sure I should start now. I feel like I am letting him down.
To be fair my son has had a horrible year. We left my ex due to emotional abuse and then I have been dragged through the courts with my ex calling me a drug addict, violent, mental etc). My mind has been on that more than my son. I won the court case and ex has gone back to alcoholism now and does not even show up for contact. It has been a nightmare for him and I think it has affected him badly.

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catkind · 16/07/2016 12:06

You poor things. Your mind has been on the court case FOR your son, no guilt please. I think seeing you do teacher training could be great for him - he'll see you working hard at studying too. Wishing you both all the best for a fabulous learning year.

Lweji · 16/07/2016 13:22

Big hug.

I understand your concerns about his possible needs and how the separation may have affected him.
But he has you.
I'd really take these holidays to have fun and have good quality time with him, and to listen to him and his concerns about whatever (dad, school, life).

Perhaps you can also mention the difficulties you feel and how you overcome them.
Even talk about (some of) your own feelings about his dad and separation. IME, it creates an environment of trust and empathy.

Original poster
mrgrouper · 16/07/2016 13:32

He hates his dad as he keeps failing to attend contacts. We are supposed to have a contact at 2 today but if he is not here by 215 we are going out.

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theothersideoftheworld · 16/07/2016 13:34

My son is 4 in August and will start reception. I could hold him back until next year but for various reasons I'm going to start him.
Is repeating reception an option? I'm not sure with the new rules of deferring summer borns tha reception can be repeated if wished?

Original poster
mrgrouper · 16/07/2016 14:01

I will ask the school about repeating reception, but not sure they will allow it.

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Original poster
mrgrouper · 16/07/2016 14:15

well it is 215 and another no show, so we are going to the park

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zad716 · 16/07/2016 22:33

Personally I would not even consider asking to repeat reception even if the school allowed it. Imagine explaining to a child even though all their friends are moving on to Yr1 with a new teacher that they would be staying in reception. Its also got the potential to be a stigma that follows them through school.

theothersideoftheworld · 16/07/2016 23:31

I would rather that than my child struggling and being upset for the next few years.
My child will still be 4 when he finishes reception. I'm not sure he would even realise that he was being 'kept back'

zad716 · 17/07/2016 07:21

Your DS may not realise he is being 'held back' (though I suspect he would realise something), he will though definitely know that all his friends are now in a different class at the same school so he will have to make all new friendships.

Why do you think they would struggle for the next few years anyway? Just because a child struggles a bit in reception, it doesn't mean they will struggle through the rest of primary school.

You need to made a decision based on whether your child is ready to start school and then stick to it rather than attempting to get an extra years education (which I can't see the school agreeing to anyway).

user789653241 · 17/07/2016 07:57

theothersideoftheworld, one of my mum friend's dc is end August born.
She was really worried the child was too young compared to others. I don't think dc was exceeding in reception, but now in YR3, the child is one of the top pupil for academics and PE.

hazeyjane · 17/07/2016 08:00

I think most schools will only consider holding back a year in extreme cases.

They can really change over the course of year 1

theothersideoftheworld · 17/07/2016 09:54

I didn't say I was holding my child back. I just presented it as an option to consider. The OP asked for o

theothersideoftheworld · 17/07/2016 09:55

Ooops.. The OP asked for opinions. So I gave mine :)

spanieleyes · 17/07/2016 10:02

My son was similar, he simply couldn't be bothered in Reception and spent the whole time with his hands in the water tray ( he would come home wrinkled!),he came out below expected in everything (August birthday!) and I was a Reception teacher tooBlush . Added to which, he has aspergers, so social communication was a no-no! He wouldn't read or write at all. In year 1 he decided that he could read after all and flew through the books, he was level 3's by the end of year 3, level 5 in SATS in KS2 ( when you couldn't get level 6!) passed his 11+, 13 A* and A grade GCSE's, As and Bs for A level and a degree in Financial Mathematics!

"Failing" Reception is not the end of the world!

spanieleyes · 17/07/2016 10:03

That should have been Level 3 by the end of year 2!

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 17/07/2016 10:21

Dd (middle of year) didn't want to read until well into yr2, it was around her 7th birthday. She is now in approx top 10% based on SATs and off to a selective school in September. Her ability has still accelerated even in yr6. She had none of the disruption your ds has had. I would watch and wait and not worry too much until he is 7. Make it fun and get him to love reading. He can do the summer reading challenge at the library, but it is fine if you read the stories to him, or a mixture.

zoemaguire · 17/07/2016 10:32

They do stuff when they are ready. Ds is summer born finishing yr 1. At end of reception he wasn't reading at all. We did no reading practice at all over the summer because it had become such a battle. By early September he was ready to get back in the saddle. He's gone through the entire book colours series over the yr and is now on chapter books! He reads for fun in bed! In every other subject though he is not yet meeting expectations. His writing and maths are well below where some kids start at in reception. I have no doubt he'll make it eventually, but he is definitely not ready yet. His fine motor skills are just not there. The problem is the system that marks them as failures for being developmentally entirely normal!

Lweji · 17/07/2016 10:47

The problem is the system that marks them as failures for being developmentally entirely normal!

This.
And I'd add: as failures early on.

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