how long does it take to settle in foundation stage - having a horrid time!

[DimpledThighs]

I know it is a bit like how long is a piece of string but I really need some idea of how long it is going to take us.

DD started school over a week ago. Her brother is already there, it is next to preschool and she knows the other children. She is a July birthday so one of the younger ones.

She has cried every day. It is breaking my heart. On friday ds told me that he had played with her at lunch time because she was standing on her own crying and sucking her glove - I thought she was only upset at the seperation from me in the morning, I did not realise she was crying intermittedly at school in the day. She refuses to talk about anything to do with school apart from the odd question like 'no school today is it mummy'.

I know it sounds sily but I am really upset about her being upset.

Can anyone tell me about how they settled their child or how long it took - please!

Getting worse now, not better.

DD cries A LOT every day when I leave her and today they had a parents assembly and she sat with the classroom assistant and would not look up the whole time and did not stand up to show her work with the other children- she did last week so it really feels like it is getting worse not better. It is wearing me out and I have completely run out of ways to deal with it and have to force myself not to get upset now. I cannot tell you how horrid it is and it has been over two weeks now.

The thing that is starting to really p* me off is people keep saying that I am upset and she picks up on that - which is more or less saying it is my fault she is crying. I just want to go and pick her up now.

No wise words but just wanted to say I do care, and have been thinking about you. Would it be ok for me to pray about the situation?

hugs flower.

Is there any possibility of your DP dropping her off for a few days next week to see if that helps at all?

HI D,

I can only imagine how bad you must be feeling, I had one day of dd crying and clinging, and that made me feel like the worst mother in the world, so I can inmagine how its wearing you down.
Its a huge thing for us as mums, to do this, after 5 yrs with them more or less by our sides.
I havent any real answers, only that yes she might be picking up off you, but that is only natural, and cannot be helped,it goes without saying that she gets upset,then you do.
It wasnt you who started the cycle tho, and I am sure that she will get there inthe end.

This morning my daughter was complaining all the way to school, she is very sensitive, and also to sounds, and she nearly went mad when a loud motorbike went past us. iwas gettin more tense thinking, god this is going to be tough this morning. I went in with her, and literally said my goodbye, and as she was looking the other way, I legged it.
Felt crap, but I cant calm her down, and staying with her makes it worse.

I heard from a freind that her eldest took 3 months to settle. That little girl is 8 now and no prob!

take care

DT - best of luck for the morning.

all the best from me too

How was this morning?

I really feel for you. I posted before xmas about ds not wanting to go to school and being so exhausted but council guidelines say that he has to attend 5 full days even though I felt he'd benefit from one or 2 half days off a week.

In the end, the school agreed to let him have a Friday off every now and again if he was particularly tired.

He started reception in September (after turning 4 in August) and has only cried at drop off about 3 times, although, he tells me daily that he doesn't want to go.

He cried one morning last week. Both the teacher and TA were talking to other parents and I ended up leaving him with the parent volunteer.

When I collected him I asked the TA if he calmed down quite quickly and she looked at me completly blank! I reminded her that he was sobbing when I dropped him off and she said "oh yeah, he was fine!" Didn't really fill me with confidence!

I also found that having one or two classmates over for a playdate helped. The day after playdate I'd say "ooh, look there's X, why don't you walk in together?"

Sorry, didn't mean for this to be so long!!

A friend told me that her ds hated reception but when he moved up to yr1 he totally changed and now loves school! So, only another 6 months to go!!

Today was different in a good way. I thought it might be hard as DD started crying at breakfast saying she did not want to go (this has never happened before) but when we got there I sat her with a girl she mentioned a couple of times over the weekend and then when they sat down on the carpet I did the quickest mummysgottogohaveanicedaybye kiss and left. I heard her start to cry but I was almost out the door by then.

she did not mention it on pick up and dare I say she seemed a little more lively and told me what kind of yoghurt everyone had. I hope she is getting used to it - if she doesn't cry she gets to glue and glitter a star on her chart and if she manages all week we are off to cadbury world on saturday.

Thanks again for your support.

mogs - roll on year one, by all accounts they get it by then and the ones that object end up loving it the most.

pleased to hear it DT hope you are on for a trip to chgocolate paradise on Saturday then

better today again!

oh relief - I thought it would never change.

thanks again for the support.

Sounds encouraging - well done both of you !

I am now trying to think what target I can set DS so that he can earn him (and me!) a trip to CadburyWorld

Well done DT and your DD - this time next year it will be a distant memory!