Are all schools like this?

[FineAsWeAre]

My DS enjoys school but sometimes gets a bit disheartened at not being chosen for things. It seems to always be the same kids who get the lead parts in plays, win competitions or achievement awards etc. and it's always the ones whose mums are on the pta or board of governors and go on all the school trips and things. The teachers always chat to them at the end of the day but never say anything to me if I happen to do the school run occasionally. As a nursery practitioner, if I didn't see a particular parent often I'd make an extra effort to involve them in some way. It almost feels like my son's missing out because I work.

School would be awesome without the fucking parents, I'm convinced.

No everyone gets a chance. My children's community primary had four rules

1. All the children were in the christmas panto (the cast would do the play but each class would sing and dance one song at intervals in the story)
2. All of year 6 had parts and then there were minor roles for children from other years
3. Once the children had a part they couldn't audtion again the following year.
4. All the front row tickets were reserved for families of children in the play.

Oh and 5. The headmaster is obsessed with time so if you arrived 5 minutes after the start you were not allowed in.

Now here's how every rule was bent and broken for one family. These parents were not really famous but they are known. I'll call them the D's. Their children were in the same year as mine. I liked her a lot and it wasn't her fault the headmaster was rammed so far up her husband's arse he could see daylight, but it was sadly the case.

My son got a part one year, I went to get our front row seats and was told there weren't any left, that we would be in the second row. Fair enough. Come to the night and the seat in front is empty. So 15 minutes in I think "right I'll move" asked a teacher if I could move and was told it was reserved. Odd because of the time thing but I left it. 45 minutes in and Mr. D comes in, disturbs everyone as he stumbles to his reserved seat. None of hs children had speaking parts that year. I was livid.

Then the year we were leaving to move elsewhere my daughter auditioned. I told the teacher that she really wanted a part and it would be her last chance. Most children had been in the play in previous years anyway, including the D's son who was in just the year before. When I went to pick her up she was in floods of tears. The D's son got a part again even though no other child is allowed to do this. I mentioned it to the teacher and how upset she was. The teacher said "oh yes we forgot". I thought they might hold the audtions again for the kids who were feeling let down, but they didn't.

My atttude to the school after that was community school my foot!

Another thing that happened was this family left for 9 months abroad for his work. All their children's places were kept open despite it being a massively oversubscribed school. Another women went abroad for 6 weeks to visit her sick mother, lost her children's places and had to re-apply and appeal grovel. It's a joke! Some schools are run by snobs.

TheTartOfAsgard somethng about your post made me think it's the same school. Our PTA were "friends" as well. Got gate crashed one year though, by some mums who'd had enough and things got a bit better after that.

Always same kids chosen in my school too. Nothing to do with PTA, more to do with lazy teaching.

We had a better teacher this year and the less confident children have been pushed forward more.

Yes, well it's clear that this thread has degenerated into teacher/schools bashing with people determined to believe what they want to believe, regardless of the reality.

I'm out.

It might not be reality in your experience but that doesn't mean others experiences are not valid. This thread is pretty much half and half in terms of opinions. I wasn't bashing the school - the teachers, especially the year 6 teacher was in fact amazing and encouraging and helped both my children gain level 6 math and English SATs, but the way the 'friends' were allowed to behave and were favoured was questionable.

A lot of people experience things from both sides. I've worked with teachers that didn't make an effort to make sure they noticed the quiet or middle of the road kids. All attention focused on the bright ones and the struggling ones. I don't think teachers bother much with the PTA kids as most teachers don't have much time to notice who is in the PTA but to say that all teachers are fair and that some kids don't get left out would be wishful thinking rather than reality.

The one thing I really don't like in schools is the council vote system. Schools might as well call them popularity contests. I think it can make dc feel excluded, especially when the teacher tells the dc how many votes each dc recieved.

My dd is in reception at the same school my ds went to ( he's 13 ) so I already know a bit about it.
My friend commented that I " know all the teachers " well yes i do as most of them taught my ds!

Our PTA had gone, there was a letter asking for volunteers for a new one. Out of 200 approx parents only 6 of us turned up, 3 work and 3 don't.
Between us we have already arranged several activities for the summer and are actively looking for new ideas all to benefit the dc.

My dd has had star of the week twice since September but another member of the PTA loves mentioning that her dd has had it six times ( same class ).

Another friend commented on this to me and I basically said that in order to survive primary school as a mum you need to develop a thicker skin and don't get hung up on other peoples dc or achievements or the biggest cardinal sin of comparing
First question you often hear in playground after school " has your dc changed books and what colour/level are they on?"
Seriously. It's easier to say this as a second timer but the trouble that is caused at school sometimes is just shocking.
If teachers do have "favourites" as suggested by many at our school then I'm not aware of it.
I've found the best way to be involved is to offer to help in whatever capacity possible, depending on work commitments etc, it has not given my dd any special treatment at all but that's not why I do it anyway.