Private Primary - are you glad you chose it?

[Needmorewine]

State schools in our area are fine but not great. Oversubscribed, large classes, not great wraparound care. A lot of people are SAHM and make up for any shortcomings at home, but that won't be an option as I will be working FT (not just to fund private school - I want to work anyway!) We have found a lovely nurturing independent school for DD. DH salary pays mortgage, bills, - mine will go half on school fees. We will still be better off than we are now (currently a student!) but it feels like a huge commitment. Before we bite the bullet and put our deposit down I wanted to ask for some experiences of private primary and if you are/were happy with the end result. We're not doing it specifically to get into grammar, I don't even know if she will be a particularly academic, but I want somewhere nurturing and where she will be happy and I worry so much she will get lost in a class of 30+ (she is quite timid). The independent class sizes are 14. Any advice gratefully received!

Hi girls thank you for this - how do you manage the wraparound care on the days you work ? We have no family to help .

Need

Indeed, compile all the questions and take them with you. Visit during wrap around also so you can check it all out.

We visited 3 times in all and dd did 2 taster days.

I've just given up work as have many other state teachers. I'll go back when all are school but prior to that I've done a mix of childminders/ nannies/ after school club. I'll never do full time again unless I have to as I, personally, would feel I didn't have much left for the children (working every evening, half holidays etc) it's not a usual full time job.

Some people I know pay nannies with their own children before and after school only. Or nanny share for those hours.

Teaching being what it is now, it is a huge commitment to start off in the private sector and have no escape route from your career. You'll also wipe out your DH's holiday pretty quickly if he's covering the gap between your and your dd's holidays leaving you with not much as a family.

If you're being clever about it you'll work in a private school and send your daughter to state ;).

I think I'd be tempted to try her at state for a year or two and see how she and you get on with it. You can always move her a little bit down the line. EYFS and KS1 won't ruin her education even if the school turns out to be not great.

When do you qualify? It might be worth tying to get a job now at the school dd will go to. Depending on where you are lots of schools are struggling to recruit so will welcome being contacted.

No regrets here. Im also a teacher and lots of our parents at DC's school are state school teachers. Most of our local primaries are graded good or outstanding too. But as teachers we know there's so much more to it than that.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply - seems there is still a lot of thinking to do !! We're lucky that we do have some time to decide still but I think I need to look more into both sectors before we can make an informed decision . I'm absolutely loving teaching so far and had a great first placement at a lovely school that I would be very happy to work at - but well aware things can change in a blink !

DD went independent for primary. Our reasons were she was ready for school early and we started her in 'pre-reception' at a nearby independent planning for it to just be a year but ended up staying. More because she was so ahead and she was like a sponge that being in a class of 30 didn't seem ideal. It was a lovely nurturing school but she out-grew it by end of Y2 when the brightest left for local prep schools and so we moved her too. In hindsight we should have moved her to the local state school (six form entry) but she thrived in the selective independent but things I heard from my friends that we didn't get like a good idea of progress did make me wonder what we were paying for.

I can't really see any good reason to go private for primary unless the local state option is fairly dire. Even if you want to go private at secondary, your DC will only be doing English and Maths for the 11plus exam and it is easy for MC parents to ensure that their kids keep up with peers at private preps by doing Bond books, reading at night etc (bearing in mind that state primary schools give virtually no homework-less than an hour a week in our case). There is IMO nothing better than a good state primary which tends to be far more connected to the local community than prep schools. Your DC may also -for the only time in their lives if going private for secondary- have a chance to have friends from all walks of life. DD has friends from the whole range of society from parents on benefits in council housing and minicab drivers to the more usual MC professions and IMO it has been a very rewarding experience for her to socialise with all classes and realise at an early age that not all people are privileged.

Do look at the whole picture. It's hard to plan for secondary education before your child even starts primary, but look into costs for private secondary too.

I was privately educated until the age of 13 when the super selective secondary I was at just wasn't suiting me and was damaging my mental health. My family ended up sending me to a state secondary where I eventually thrived, but the transition was tough and socially it was hard for the "posh kid" to fit in.

The chances of DS getting into the local grammar (massive catchment over more than one county and hugely competitive) were slim, and the secondary private options were so expensive, often involving boarding, so we went down the state route.

neuroticnicky, firstly, the diverse thing doesn't always follow. When we lived in Cheshire, the catchment houses were upwards of 500k so not much social diversity there. Our catchment wasn't unusual either in fact that's very common in affluent urban areas.

There are also many other benefits such as lack of government interference (sats, fines for taking a day off etc) My children had many sporting opportunities that the state sector just couldn't compete with, likewise music. Our local state primaries were high achieving but it was all about sats. I teach in a high achieving state primary but we simply can't offer the wealth of opportunities the private sector can.

My son is at a prep school and just as much a part of the local community. His friends all live locally although I realise,this might not be the same at every school..

Personally the class size swung it for us 18 as opposed to 30. Your child will get more attention in a smaller class. It's all well.and good saying that mc parents can make sure their kids keep track by doing work after school. All well and good but they will be exhausted and not that receptive.

Private schools are a very sensitive issue. You know your child and what your heart says is right.

I often wonder were prep schools find the time to offer such a wealth of extra opportunities that state don't. Our local state schools all offer full extended wrap round care, sports activities every day after school for diff year groups, pre school sports, music lessons for anyone who wants them, choirs, orchestras, cookery clubs,craft clubs etc Sports include football, tennis, gym, basketball, hockey, netball, yoga, multi sports.
Surely our area is not unique? Most DC I know age 5-10 do a whole range of extra stuff at their state schools. We don't get much formal homework to allow time for all DC to enjoy other stuff and learn other things.

Yet I often hear that preps offer much more plus lots of extra homework?

I very much depends on the private school involved. We were from Day1, but it was awful (lots of different reasons, like any school), we moved Ds in Yr2 and the Prep was wonderful. So state/private isnt a good/bad decision.

You really need to visit all the options. Private school is a huge commitment and although Id do it all again, there are times it seems too much.

You say one reason youd chose private is so that your Dd can be at school from say 8am to 6pm, 5 days a week - thats a very long day while she is still so young. And she will also have much longer holidays than you at a private school.

I would have thought a childminder taking her to their home for tea and a play would be much better for her, or ideally a nanny taking her to her to her own home again for tea and getting ready for bed.

If you do find shes not coping, again state schools can implement more IN (if needed and free) or you could move her at that stage.

Same with our state primary, inkymess. Full wraparound care plus loads of clubs and activities. So far this week DD has been to gymnastics, art club, recorder club and choir and started rehearsals for a play.

I've never taught in or been in the catchment of any state primaries able to offer the vast range of clubs open to my DCs. I'm not suggesting that Inkymess and Jasper are lying, just that they are very fortunate. Most state schools offer as part of the curriculum one session of indoor PE a week and one session of outdoor games. My children did double this. Their games also included rugby, cricket, hockey, football, netball, rounders and cross country. All taught by specialists. Indoors they did gymnastics and dance. They also did swimming. All of these are also offered as after school clubs. Many state primaries are barely able to offer football and netball.

If yours are able to offer all this sport plus all the music and things like IT and drama both within school time and then as after school clubs then that's great! Really great! But it is unusual.

I don't think that DD's school is particularly unusual for our area in what it offers. I love it and think it a wonderful school, but friends' DCs at other schools locally all seem to do similar activities.

I agree with myred unfortunately our local school doesn't offer particularly high quality wraparound care and I would certainly not be happy leaving DD in it especially if she's spent all day in a class of 30+ and may not have had much one on one attention.

DH and I not keen on childminders - looked into some when DD was little and much preferred the group setting and facilities at nursery. A couple of good friends have also had issues regarding childminders doing drop off / pick up which makes me nervous.

One reason we are very keen on this particular independent is the quality of the wraparound care - I genuinely wouldn't feel DD was being short changed at all by me not being able to drop off / pick up.

Yes, the quality of before and after school care in some primaries is woeful. A bit of colouring and board games and the odd DVD. My children had structured clubs run after school and then wraparound where they could do IT, or bake or do craft. Access to outdoors all year round with playgroup equipment. Lots of staff rather than one woman running it and another helping a little. Structured programme so I could see what the boys would be doing and when. Also what food they were serving at tea time.

In addition to the couple of hours a week PE they all do in school time, there are sports clubs before and after school and Sat am - yoga, gymnastics x2(KS1 & KS2) tennis, football, basketball, cross country, dance etc - some don't by PE coach, some by external clubs but on site. 50% of the DC play an instrument after yr2. There are 2 choirs and several types of band or music group. Cookery club runs in the school teaching kitchen. There is also CODE club and gardening club that I forgot about before.
We are a big school and a national lead school, so may be better than some, but loads of our local schools do similar - I have friends in all different state schools. All are ofsted good or outstanding.

We also have a dedicated after school club team who run a mixture of activities, games, craft, TV time etc for them. Ratio is about 1:9

That sounds fantastic Inky if we had that on my doorstep would be problem solved ! Ours is nothing like that.

I am a fan of the state system, and both of my dcs are in state schools, but I can make it work because I work part time and can do pickups.

If I worked full-time, I would absolutely consider a decent private school with good wrap around care. Not, I must emphasise, because the education is better. And I think that the class size is a red herring, because even quiet children can thrive in classes of 30. I just think that enriching after school care is valuable.

Needless to say our school is massively over subscribed. It shows it can be done though and, as I say, every state school I know is similar.
I have absolutely no issue with private schools - each family has to choose what suits them best. I don't see 30 in a class as an issue but then All the DC I know love their respective schools and quiet DC seem to gain confidence from the bustle.
I do get irritated however when private schools advertise things as 'special' when they aren't really and you hear people make out that only private schools offer decent extra curricular stuff. All our local schools have loads of links with local clubs etc as well as what they run them selves.
However - I would say that state schools very often don't advertise what they offer very well. Hardly any of what our school offers is actually on the web site, so unless you have DC at the school to talk to parents it wouldn't be obvious from afar.

We're doing private for a number of reasons, including that the local primaries are so-so and the secondary is dire. And I can pretty much guarantee that dd will get I to the private secondary if she also does the private primary(same school).

In terms of educational standard,I think she'd be OK in the state primaries,but they dont have as much on offer as'extras' such as cooking. Also,I may need the ability to remove her from school for a week or two here and there, occasionally, which isn't an option in state.

Unfortunately none of the state schools local to me resemble that school either.

I must admit much of dd extra curricular is done through school which gives us more family time at weekends and no dashing around on school evenings.

At dd school as they get older supervised prep is done after school as part of the school day, which ensures very little actual homework is needed.

Holiday wise, there will be more than the odd week or two for your husband to cover. In fact you could end up with very little time off as a family if your DH has limited or inflexible annual leave.

The extra curricular activities that the independent schools provide will all be factored into their fees and are likely to be available in your local community where your dd can meet and socialise with local children which is imo a good thing to do.

If you can find a good childminder then they are worth their weight in gold for holidays, inset days, before and after school care and on occasion if your dd cannot go to school because of illness (variable depending on CM and illness obviously).

I really think that finance is a major part of this decision. Fees go up, add ons can be significant. If you do decide to have more dc what will happen then? Have a look at secondary school fees and take those into account too - if you were to keep her in private for the whole of primary, would you really swap to state for secondary?