Teacher shouting, child crying...

[WipsGlitter]

Would you say anything?

DS came out of school crying on Friday. He'd been shouted at for not helping with the tidying up (he says he was) when he started crying the teacher then shouted even more and said to stop this "silliness". He was still upset and quiet all afternoon.

I know the teachers have to keep control but (a) it seems a bit trivial not helping with the tidying (b) shouting so much a child cries seems excessive (he's not generally a crier) (c) he now says he doesn't like the teacher (d) he says other children have cried because the teacher shoots do much.

Would you bother saying anything. He is 7.

I know what you mean about the tidying it was more there seems to have been another child saying he wasn't helping when he says he was. I don't want to get into that with her and agree he should be helping if he's not.

It's more that shouting until a child cries seems a bit much.

I'm still undecided as to weather to say anything. DS didn't want me to do anything on Friday when it happened so I might leave it.

Aaah go and clarify with the teacher?

Has he ever been shouted at before? Just being shouted at is enough to make some little ones cry. Regardless of reason/how shouty it was.

He's never mentioned being shouted at. This teacher has a reputation for being "shouty"!

"DS didn't want me to do anything on Friday when it happened so I might leave it."

This means he knows he was wrong?

My ds has been shouted by teacher, but I was more cross with him, teacher doesn't shout at 7 year old for no reason.
But, misunderstanding happen, so if he was shouted at because of teacher's misunderstanding, I would clarify with teacher.

A child not doing as he was asked' s perception of 'shouting' is also likely to be different to one not having just been told off. What did you say to him when he said he'd been told off?

If he didn't want you to do anything on Friday that says to me he might have been exaggerating for sympathy from Mummy and didn't want you and teacher talking about what actually happened.
I'm not blaming him, lots of kids do that. It sounds like there's a core issue there alright but probably not exactly what he said.

I dunno, every teacher will have moments where they look back and think they handled something wrong, but equally every teacher will have parents coming in wondering about something that never happened in class.
I'm not a shouter, but I can see how it happens on a wintery Friday afternoon when the class have been driving you slowly insane.

I agree, if he doesn't want you to help him, it tends to suggest he was in fact guilty and/or he's exaggerated a bit.

Children's perceptions can be different to an adult's perception. It might be that the teacher had a stern or cross voice and that it felt like being shouted at to your ds.

No I think he was scared me making a fuss would make it worse. He wasn't arguing with the teacher.

I understand teachers have to control the class but if I shouted at him so much he cried I'd be very disappointed in myself, so I don't see how it's ok for a teacher to do it because it's a "Friday in November".

Really, you've never told your 7yo off enough to make him cry?

Yes I have but I was disappointed in myself as shooting at him was disproportionate to wh

... What he had done.

Shouting at him not shooting - that eo

Jesus wept... Shooting him would be an overreaction.

You see I disagree, it depends on the child. With my two tears are the way that you tell you've got through to them. I think most of the time teachers are really very soft these days.

You have to be careful you've interpreted that one correctly tobysmum. Ds1, yes, you know you've got him when he cries. I realised belatedly that Ds2 found turning on the tears was a very effective way of making his mum shut up.

"I don't see how it's ok for a teacher to do it because it's a "Friday in November"

Sometimes I lose it with one child. Imagine X 30.
If you are so unhappy about teacher's behaviour, just go and speak to her.

Personally, if my ds told me he was shouted at by a teacher, I will tell him to behave/listen, so he doesn't get shouted at.

Shouting at a crying child for being upset is bullying, horrible behaviour. I hated that sort of teacher as a child and despise them as an adult- not, to be fair, that I have come across many at all as a parent. The vast majority of teachers do not behave like this.

I'd raise with the teacher that my child was very upset and ask them about it, I think.

Lol yeah ok you may have a point with dd2..... It it's definitely the case with my older one though.

Not tidying up is not 'trivial'. He's refusing to do something that he has been asked or is expected to do. I imagine that he helped make the mess that needed tidying.

I would be interested to hear if it was a shout or a raising of voice.

Someone will be along in a minute to advise you to make a formal complaint to the education ombudsman I expect.

You only have your 7 year old's word for it. Teachers are allowed to raise their voices, so although Miss Honey would just sing while all the woodland creatures came out, some other teachers will occasionally lose their rag when they see a messy classroom and know that if the kids don't pull their weight then the tidying up of 30 7-year-old's will be left to them.

Absolutely teachers do speak too sternly to children. I have witnessed it and felt very uncomfortable.

I would believe your DS. Because I have seen this kind of thing happen.

However I don't know what I would do. Speaking to school is unlikely to help.