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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Do all schools take year 6 kids away for a week and do children ^have^ to go on it?

45 replies

AJ65 · 28/09/2015 11:32

The year 6 kids are off on their trip to the Isle of Wight which reminds me that it's only a year until my year 5 daughter's turn and she does not want to go. She's never wanted to go, and has told me so ever since she first heard about the trip. To begin with I was reassuring and bland about it as I figured she'd get over it, but the closer it gets, the more vehement she is that she does not want to go.

There seem to be a couple of issues, the first being that she's never spent a night away from home without at least one parent and the other being that she has comfort toys that she carries around the house and sleeps with - they don't normally leave the house - and she is concerned that they will get lost.

Does she have to go? If she does, any suggestions for dealing with her anxieties about it?

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SoupDragon · 28/09/2015 11:34

There are usually a handful of children who don't go on our school's Y6 residential trip.

Artandco · 28/09/2015 11:36

There's always a few. However many of those who go take soft toys with them and many never been away alone so she won't be the first.

If you would like her to go, could you start practicing nights away now without you? Ie at grannies house or a friends overnight

dementedpixie · 28/09/2015 11:36

There were a couple of children that didn't go on dd's residential trip. One didn't go as she has allergies and her mum didn't trust her to be safe while away (has had issues within the school already)

SoupDragon · 28/09/2015 11:38

I would tell her she doesn't have to go but I would also work on her anxieties to help her become more independent and confident.

DDs school insist that every child takes a stuffed animal with them so that no one who needs one feels like a baby.

Original poster

AJ65 · 28/09/2015 12:02

Thanks all.

I have been trying to arrange for her to have a sleepover with a friend or with one of her aunts, but she tends to balk at the last minute and I don't want to force her, but I will keep trying.

I like SoupDragon's school's suggesting that everyone takes a soft toy so that no one who needs one (as my daughter still does) feels like a baby. However, she's not actually that bothered about people thinking she's a bit babyish, but she is terrified of losing her cuddlies!

OP posts:

Leeds2 · 28/09/2015 13:12

On my DD's Y6 trip, all the children went (one was a doubt up until departure day!). Quite a lot of class work before and afterwards related to the trip, although school may restrict that if a child isn't going.

I wouldn't worry about taking a stuffed animal, although maybe not her favourite if there is a chance it will get lost! They all have them.

Do you have much time before you have to give a final decision? Do you know what would happen if you said no, and then DD changed her mind?

I would too encourage her to do a sleepover with close family or friends, and be in a position that you can go and collect her at midnight if necessary.

Radiatorvalves · 28/09/2015 13:23

My DS went to the Isle of Wight with his class in year 5. They all had a ball...best week of their lives etc. they were at Kingswood.

One or 2 parents went (one boy is autistic and his mum went) and lots of cuddly toys. All children went too.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 28/09/2015 13:28

Both DC went on a residential at the end of Y6 and then again at the start of Y7 with new school. Stuffed toys went along too.

Not sure about Y7 but in Y6 a couple didn't go but that was because they weren't allowed to due to poor behaviour.

TeenAndTween · 28/09/2015 14:08

She doesn't have to go. But may feel very left out if she doesn't go.

DD went to Little Canada on the IoW, 6 months ago in y5. She was very apprehensive (as was I) beforehand. DD also had not done nights away from home before. I was anticipating tears before getting on the coach, and possible also a call to collect part way through. We briefly toyed with the idea of DH going and staying on the island just in case.

We did one, one night sleepover at closest friend about 3 months before. The Mum was the only person I would trust with DD. It went OK, with the Mum being reassuring but firm.

They were only meant to take 1 cuddly toy. DD took 3. At home DD has about 100 and whenever we go away she always takes 3 (and comes back with 4 ) so no way was I going to send her with only 1! She won't lose them, it can stay on her bed (or in rucksack).

I worked closely with the school beforehand and they worked with her. She had time to talk through her worries, but they got her excited about the good stuff.

We had tears on and off in the run up saying she didn't want to go, and she was scared. We kept saying she would be OK, and would have a fun time.

On the day, she was a bit nervous but got on the coach with a smile.
The lead teacher had her in his group to keep a close eye on her.
We had a private tweet from the lead teacher after 2 days saying all fine (DD can't appear in photos so wasn't on any of the general ones the school was tweeting).
DD came home at the end and gave it a 6 or 7 out of 10.
Her increase in confidence since has been marked.
She still loves her cuddly toys.

SoupDragon · 28/09/2015 14:15

Can you get her to choose a substitute "travelling Cuddlie" that is not so precious to her?

KevinAndMe · 28/09/2015 14:17

In most cases, there is one or two children that don't go for various reasons. It has never been any issue.

KevinAndMe · 28/09/2015 14:19

Re cuddly, a lot of the children in my dc Year 6 have taken one.
I have heard of ANY of them ever been lost, nor people actually laughing at the ones who do.
They are usually kept safe in the bag they have for travelling during the day.

I agree with you re having a sleep over or at least sleeping at grandparents/family on her own. Some children are very anxious about going but most of them are very happy to have done the effort to go iyswim.

KevinAndMe · 28/09/2015 14:22

The other thing to think about is that, if you do the trip towards the end of the year as our primary does, a few months later she will then be in Y7.

At our secondary, they do a camping 'trip' (well one night!) to help children know each and 'bond'/brake the ice. It's not complusory but a great opportunity. The trip in Y6 is very much a good way for her to start doing things on her own in what is a very safe environment.

ineedaholidaynow · 28/09/2015 14:23

DS's school usually do a residential trip to France in Y6 after SATS. I am dreading it but DS has it at the top of his list of what he is looking forward to in Y6.

There are always a few children who don't go, for various reasons which include not wanting to be away from home, and that is fine. The school always fill that week with various activities to keep the children occupied, not just putting them in another class. Last year a couple of children who didn't go on the trip were also worried about going up to college, so school arranged for them to have some fun taster days at the local college in that week.

Our school also go to Kingswood on the Isle of Wight with Y5 and the children love that

Electrolux2 · 28/09/2015 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ineedaholidaynow · 28/09/2015 14:35

Also when DS joined Cubs he had never had a sleepover before, so a few weeks before cub camp we arranged a sleepover with his best friend who was also in Cubs and had never slept away from home either. So then his best friend had a sleepover at our house.

On the sleepovers they used some of the kit they would be using at cub camp including sleeping bag, roll mat etc, so it gave them a slight taste of what was to come. They both loved the sleepovers and they both loved cub camp. They both had cuddly toys with them and in fact they are on the kit list for cub camp

TheSecondOfHerName · 28/09/2015 14:41

If it's Little Canada PGL then I'm wondering if your children go to the same junior school mine went to, as they have sent three Y6 classes there this week. If so, then usually about 5 or 6 out of 90 don't go, they stay at school and do other activities. Mine found it to be a great experience, although it is expensive.

willconcern · 28/09/2015 14:42

In my DS's year 6, everyone went on the trip. The only ones who nearly didn't were a couple of children whose behaviour nearly meant they had to stay at home. DS would have asked lots of questions and been a bit and if someone had chosen not to go. They had an absolutely brilliant time, and there was loads of reassuring information etc before they went.

TheSecondOfHerName · 28/09/2015 14:42

When my children went, everyone took a soft toy; it was on the kit list!

puddymuddles · 28/09/2015 15:40

My children are all under 5 so no help there. However I didn't go on my Year 6 trip as I didn't want to. It was fine although some of the other children thought my evil parents wouldn't let me go or that we were so poor we couldn't afford it! I didn't mind. the reason I didn't want to go was there was a lot of sporty stuff on the trip and I was awful at sport. This was years ago as i am 39 now so I imagine what they do on school trips has changed a bit.

howabout · 28/09/2015 15:52

About a third of the DC at our primary school don't go for various reasons. The school lays on alternative home based activities. My DD1 didn't go as it clashed with a family thing and she didn't want to go. DD2 wanted to go and as far as the teachers were concerned was the life and soul of the party and loved all the physical challenges. However she is pretty sensitive and needs her own space and actually hated it but put on a brave front. She took a while to get over the experience of sharing with a group of classmates.

Now they are a couple of years older they both happily go away on scout, school etc trips. I wouldn't feel pressured to push a reluctant DD as long as she is happy with not going.

bruffin · 28/09/2015 16:12

AJ65
My ds went off to uni at the weekend, he took at least 3 cuddly toys with him and cuddlies were always on the kit list for camp.

ChocolateWombat · 28/09/2015 18:50

At this stage, so far before the trip, I would avoid saying anything like she doesn't have to go or she does have to go. If you say she doesn't have to go at this point, you almost close the door to her changing her mind.
It is quite a way off yet and you have time to address the anxieties and find her an opportunity to sleep away somewhere.

Personally I think these trips are a vital part of education and growing independence. Many children have been away before this point, but a number won't have and will gain a lot from doing it and feel a sense if independence and maturity....it's important as they get ready to move to Secondary.

I think parents play a big role in the attitudes of children to this.....you need to be really positive about it and whilst acknowledging her concerns, not to build them up. Tbh, you sound like you have decided you don't want her to go - your Q is phrased in a way about if you can avoid it, rather than how you can get her ready. Is it really that you too have qualms about her going away? If so, you need to think about those too - the trips is still a long way off and your DD will be almost secondary age by the time of it - a lot can change for her between now and then - she will be almost secondary age and you need to be helping her prepare in gradual steps for the greater independence to come.

Definitely try to arrange a chance for her to stay away - perhaps aim to do it 2 or 3 times in the next year to build confidence.

Millymollymama · 28/09/2015 18:55

I actually think the bigger concerns are why she does not want to go. The school my children went to did a residential in Y2, never mind Y6! I think you could perhaps do introductory nights away from you as suggested above. I think when the others get back, full of chatter, laughter and new experiences, she may feel very left out. I might work on being like everyone else and having fun. At what age does a child have to start doing things they do not want to do?

Hoppinggreen · 28/09/2015 21:16

My DD is going next week. There are about 15 children not going, mostly on religious/cultural grounds but one of dd's friends just doesn't want to.
I will miss DD like mad and wish she wasn't going but I've been really positive about it, going shopping together for new clothes to take for example.
You've got a year to get her ready, my DD wasn't sure she wanted to go when she was in year 5 but when the year 6's came back and told them all about it she was more positive about it.

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