Tell my why you turned down an Outstanding State Primary for Private school

[AliceAnneB]

We will most likely be faced with choosing between our local Outstanding primary and Private school next year. I'm wondering if there are others and why they did it.

We turned down outstanding state for private for

1. Class sizes
2. Amazing facilities
3. Around 3x as much sport and music. There was no comparison for me.

We chose outstanding over private as much nearer and we wanted mixed not single sex. It was fab and we really like the families who are clever and fun. Dd got a selective school place without tutoring and we saved a fortune.

It depends whether the 'Outstanding ' is just an Ofsted rating or whether you actually know the school is really outstanding. I have worked in an 'Outstanding' state comprehensive which was in fact bloody awful.

Thank you for all the responses. It's really helpful to hear of other people's experiences.

Our local state school (Rhodes Avenue) is a short walk away and currently rated outstanding. It has just undergone a multimillion pound renovation and has fantastic facilities. The head teacher of 17 years is leaving this year. The idea of a five minute commute and local friends greatly appeals. The class size is 30 and just seems huge. I'm worried DS will get lost and be a middle coaster who gets no attention. We do intend to go private at secondary and the idea of the 11+ does not fill me with happiness!

The privates in the area are really tough to get into. We passed on even trying for Highgate at 3+. My 2 year old couldn't write his name and it all just seemed a bit much. I also really wanted him to have a Montessori nursery experience which Highgate didn't offer. It all felt a bit hot house at a very young age. Norfolk House is practically on top of us but the facilities are cramped and dated. It seems silly to pay for NH when the state school has better facilities. The teachers whom I adore at his nursery also aren't too impressed with NH which makes me hesitate even more. That leaves us schools that will require a half hour commute each way. The other ones in the mix are Keble, The Avenue and Grimsdell. We are low on all of those waitlists.

I was leaning toward trying the state school but I worry if we didn't like it we won't have a hope of a private place because they are so oversubscribed.

Financially we could pay the fees for one with me working part time. If we had another I would need to work full time which I really don't want to do while he's young. So if we chose private it would mean not having a second. It's all leaving me feeling a bit torn and wanting to move back home!

Honestly - i have a few friends who have been through the private system - and not done that great as adults. Their education stood them well (got on to uni.. ) but not held jobs, or relationships - much like my other friends who went through state..

As parents you have a huge influence of how engaged and involved your children are.

Personally, I'd opt for state and a sibling ..

30 seems huge when your child is 4 but by 7 it really isn't. By age 8 they almost need a bigger school/choice of friendships. Your local school sounds amazing.

If you are close enough to get into RAve I think you'd me mad to waste money. 30 in a class is normally a 1-15 ratio

Crikey opt for a second child! If that is a factor here surely that takes precedence?

I agree that 3 form schools can feel big but to the DC its normal and actually means reception are often sheltered from older DC with own areas etc Its miles better than small schools when they are 10-11
I am really quite shocked that anyone would choose private over a second child. (I have 2 close in age)

OP I don't think I'm asking with an agenda here, but are you sure you're asking the right question? You might find it more helpful to canvas opinions of people who've debated between state and private, and chosen state.

You're worried about big class sizes, fair enough, a lot of us worry about that. But why not ask for people's experiences whose children have actually been in classes that big?

Actually on reflection I am asking with an agenda! We agonised over DD being in big classes and a year group of 90 but I've been completely won over by our state school.

Our stance was always that we'd try state and if it didn't work, we'd move her. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Getting into private schools doesn't seem to be much of an issue round here, there will always be people coming and going as family finances change or people move house, but the state schools here are fab which, I think, reduces the demand for the private schools.

I choose private because of the sport, in the state 24 boys and 10 girls, the extended hours which helped with full time working now we are nearly at the end of prep and moving on I still stand by my decision even more. My son is still über sporty playing tennis until 7.30 tonight after 3 hours of games this afternoon after supper at school. He is average academically which I think in a class of 24 boys he Wd have been joking around and not made to work to his potential. I think he has really enjoyed his time there and although we are demographically in a minority lone parent Anglo Indian son full time working mum and definitely financially the poorest it has been amazing for him .

I have two DDs in a private system and we love our school. However, if my choice was A private school OR a 2nd child, I would definitely choose another child.

If you save on primary, you might be able to afford 2 kids at private secondary. With a bit of extra help at home, and maybe a bit of tutoring later, your kid(s) should be able to get in.

Sports facilities definitely are so much better! Cricket pitches, proper rugby pitches and tennis courts etc etc, better trips and opportunities for enrichment.

Academically if your child is going to do well, that is achievable in most state schools if they apply themselves

I chose outstanding state over private because it was co-ed, meant my DD would have local friends who all lived within a 20minute walk, because it meant I could continue working part-time rather than full-time (which I would have needed to do for school fees) and therefore could spend more time with her, and because I felt when I looked around it that it would deliver a fantastic all round education for her. She is now in year 3 and I couldn't be happier with the decision I took. Her school has 3 classes of 30 per year group which did feel very big at the start ( and you don't get all the year having a part in the Reception nativity play!). However, the size has actually meant a great pool of friends and a cohort in which there are children learning at levels 3 years above average and probably a few years below and the teachers have done an amazing job catering for them all. The only thing I would say we have had to supplement out of school is sport but then I have found that by aged 7, if your child is good at a sport, they typically wish to join a local club with specialist coaches to really develop. And, of course, by not working full time to pay school fees, I have the luxury of being able to take her to specialist local clubs.

I really wouldn't worry about class sizes. A child has just moved into my DD's school from a private school in which the class size per year was 20. Her mother told me that of the 9 girls (and 11 boys) in her year she just hadn't gelled with any of the girls. With a pool of 40+ girls to choose from, her mother said she has found some like minded girls and is do much happier.

We have chosen state over private. For us, a terrible local state school would mean a house move, not private. I do realise that a house move isn't cheap, but neither is private education.

For us, we are lucky and this isn't a question of money. The only reason I would send my kids private is if they had sen.

Our local primary is lovely. They live near their friends, they and us are part of the community. The literacy and outdoor space is great. Maths and sport not so strong, so we top up there.

If I gave full reasons why we didn't go private, I would cause huge offence. Let's just say that the whole ethos, fitting everything to the child, experiences at university, all feature.

30 pupil mixed year class vs 16 pupil single year class

The ability to challenge all children to achieve their full potential vs A need to ensure all achieve base standards at the risk of failing the most able

Self governence vs being a puppet of the local authority

My DD spent 2 1/2 weeks in our local 'outstanding' primary before we removed her. She's now in an independent pre-prep and we couldn't be happier.

OP, having just read your 2nd post your situation is vastly different from ours. Your choices all sound very stressful.

I certainly wouldn't pay for a school that wants to 'test' 3 year olds. Or one that is cramped. Or basically for anything other than near damn perfect. We live in a rural county where the admissions procedure for pre-prep is a nice chat.

What I would say is that our 'outstanding' primary was led for 10+ years by a very capable, intelligent woman. The year we started the school very quickly went down hill with the appointment of a new head.

And 30 minutes in the car is a long way for a small child. We're 25 mins away from our school and looking to move to within 15 mins away. It'll get worse when they get older and start doing matches and whatever after school.

Yy to the duration of commute. I wouldn't choose to have to drive or bus my kids, especially at primary for long journeys (at that age, 20-30 minutes is long).

Re small class sizes. They aren't the be all and end all. Social grouping can be a nightmare in small classes (especially if the girl boy ratio is skewed). High turn over of pupils is also not great.

How many children you have is entirely your business. Imho choosing to have one so you can send that child to a private school puts a huge pressure on that child, overtly or not.

No way could I put the pressure on a child that I chose their private education over a wanted sibling. Whether you tell or not, that pressure is huge. And how do you feel when he fails his degree (or whatever) if you gave up a sibling.

If you want one child then do that, but don't have one to pay for schools.

Ah, i didn't realise you are in the dreaded NW london private school zone! It's a nightmare isn't it and more complicated for boys with different start dates. If you've kissed the 3+ entry, there isn't much private until 7 anyway aside from places like NH. Personally I wouldn't have chosen private over a second child.

Have you considered Golders Hill? Will prepare for the 7+, very nice small place, worth looking round.

Ahem, missed not kissed the 3+!

Go for Rhodes Ave and have another baby! My DC go to another MH school, and often have a teacher, TA and a second-year trainee teacher in the classroom, plus specialist help for reading, SEN etc. so a high staff:pupil ratio even with a class of 30.

We chose outstanding over private. After one term in Reception, we approached the private school again and haven't looked back. Our DD has been much happier for many reasons including because of the smaller size class.

Sorry OP, have I got this right? You're choosing between a great state school with amazing facilities, within walking distances, high middle-class intake, great results or a private school you don't much like, with a long commute and which will prevent you from having another child?

As I said above, I did find the 11+ into private secondary a bit stressful though the results ended up fine (we tried Highgate, UCS and City, got offers from two of them). None of your private options are all through so you won't avoid the 11+ that way nor do I think you'll avoid the tutoring thing either (which isn't that bad).

I think if Highgate had come to us and offered our then 3-year-old a place, I'd have been tempted, but under no other scenario would we have gone private. As it is, I now wonder about the wisdom of 3-18 schools. I think children need a change for secondary and an opportunity to reinvent themselves.

ps we didn't apply to Highgate at 3, I am fundamentally opposed to putting a small child up for any situation that might involve the word 'rejection'. I stand by that now.