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Original poster

Had my son baptised twice

79 replies

Sadatschool · 17/04/2015 06:54

I had my child baptised in a Church of England church when he was 6 months old as this was something that my husband wanted to do and as a lapsed Catholic I had no strong feelings on the matter. As our child begun to get nearer to school age we looked at the primary schools in the area, and secondary schools also and the ones they we preferred him to go to are Catholic. I also childmind from this school and have 5 children before and after school which go to thei school.
I decided to begin going back to Catholic Church and eventually after attending for around 6 months had my son baptised a Catholic.

We applied for a primary school place at the catholic school and yesterday found out he hasn't been offered a place, we live on the doorstep and as he is a baptised child I was confused as to why until I spoke to the school headmistress and was told they they have discounted his baptism certificate as they know he has already been baptised before and therefore you cannot be baptised twice so they have to discount the second, Catholic time.

Does anyone have any experience with anything like this as I am wondering if there is any point in my appealing this decision?

OP posts:
chocolateyay · 17/04/2015 07:02

I suspect the school is over subscribed, so you'd need to demonstrate more of an active faith.

Do you regularly attend church, get involved in churchy activities, were ypu married in Church, etc? There are plenty who play the game without any real faith beyond ' decent, free school'.

Can you speak to your priest? If he feels that it's a genuine faith choice, then maybe that will tick some boxes for you.

meditrina · 17/04/2015 07:03

It's a Vatican ruling isn't it? Or centuries-old tradition from somewhere. I expect you know that as a regular attender.

Baptism is a sacrament that is received only once, and other denomination baptisms are valid. The first baptism would count as far as the church was concerned, and if they knew it had taken place, I'd have expected your PP to refuse to carry it out again.

How did the HT know about the baptism you concealed from the PP?

FishWithABicycle · 17/04/2015 07:03

Theologically speaking they are perfectly correct. It is impossible to be baptised twice - that second ceremony was not a baptism, some water was sprinkled, some words were said, but the first baptism was the only valid one. That line in the creed along the lines of (according to your translation) "I believe in one baptism for the remission of sin" is a fundamental part of the Christian faith. It was established centuries ago that a valid baptism, made in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit (not necessarily by a priest) can only happen once. Some would consider any attempt to repeat a baptism as a grave sin as it is displaying an fundamental lack of trust that God was true to His word first time around.

SoupDragon · 17/04/2015 07:08

You decided to start going to church purely to get your son into a catholic school. Unfortunately you played the game and lost.

Can you speak to your priest? If he feels that it's a genuine faith choice, then maybe that will tick some boxes for you.

Is it a genuine faith choice to start going to church when your child approaches school age?? I would argue it's a calculated move to get into a preferred school.

I disagree with schools selecting on faith anyway.

chocolateyay · 17/04/2015 07:13

I see so many shiny new babes in arms on the steps of churches on Sunday mornings. Especially churches attached to decent schools.

Some people do genuinely 'find' religion when they have kids I suppose, and I can't say whether the op has found religion or education, although it sounds like the former.

KatieKaye · 17/04/2015 07:17

Yes, the Creed states the position very clearly.
As a regular churchgoer surely you know this? You say the Creed every week, don't you?
Didn't you cover this on your classes preparing for first confession/ confirmation?
You do still go to Mass, don't you? With your child?

SoupDragon · 17/04/2015 07:17

I can't say whether the op has found religion or education, although it sounds like the former

Do you mean the latter rather than former?

chocolateyay · 17/04/2015 07:19

Latter, latter... Its earlyish, I've not got my eyes in yet and not had my coffee...

KatieKaye · 17/04/2015 07:21

It sounds like the latter to me!
Given the lack of knowledge of the Creed, aka the fundamental statement of belief

meditrina · 17/04/2015 07:27

OP started a thread in AIBU at about the same time (here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2357388-AIBU-baptising-my-child-twice )

It's getting similar replies about baptism being sacrament received only once, and wondering if a priest would ever knowingly go along with an invalid second ritual.

TheMoa · 17/04/2015 07:33

I'm blatantly just posting here (posted on the othher thread earlier) to see whether OP enlightens us as to how the school knew something the poor old priest apparently did not.

Why did you do it OP? You must have known you couldn't just disregard a perfectly valid baptism?

Twoplus3 · 17/04/2015 07:36

The school is correct im afraid, you can't be baptised info more than one faith. The only way around his is to wait until your child is older and you can have what's called a reception ceremony and have them welcomed into the catholic faith officially.

FishWithABicycle · 17/04/2015 07:40

Thanks for the link meditrina
The OP almost certainly would have concealed the first baptism - it would be extremely unlikely that any catholic priest would break with a fundamental point of the Christian faith and rebaptise under these circumstances.

Almostapril · 17/04/2015 07:46

I am baffled at how the priest was deceived and yet the school knew

FullersPride · 17/04/2015 07:53

What you should have done is have your daughter Received into the Catholic Church. My DD was baptised Catholic but received into the Catholic Church.

Baptism is a sacrament which can only be done once. How did the priest go along with the 2nd baptism?

TheFirstOfHerName · 17/04/2015 07:54

Baptism is a once-only event, although you can renew your baptismal vows later in life.

The second ceremony was just water and words.

Penfold007 · 17/04/2015 07:55

A baptism of convenience. My DSIS did this to get her DD into the Catholic school. Even the God-parents were 'sacked' her plan worked but yours didn't.

Original poster
Sadatschool · 17/04/2015 07:57

No I didn't tell the priest about my sons first baptism.

My question was is there any point in appealing this decision, I didn't ask for judgment yes what I did wasn't ideal but I think the whole system is ridiculous and if I want my child to go to the school opposite my house (distance 0.02 from door to door) then I should be able to send him there regardless of religion!

OP posts:
OddSockBag · 17/04/2015 07:57

How on earth did the school find out if the priest didn't know?!

ArcheryAnnie · 17/04/2015 07:58

Around here you could have had your DC baptised a thousand times, and it wouldn't have helped you get into a Catholic school. Even if you set aside the "can't be baptised twice" thing, the school admission criteria specify that your child must have been baptised before they were six months old. Baptism older than that is almost as useless as no baptism at all.

KatieKaye · 17/04/2015 08:00

Do you take your DC to Mass each week?

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 17/04/2015 08:01

I don't think there's any point appealing on religious grounds. Waiting list, maybe.

If your nearest school is a faith one and you don't meet the criteria for admission then that school may as well not exist for the purposes of educating your DC. That's the system, flawed or unfair as it may be.

You must have been selective about your faith history when arranging the Catholic baptism, so it's no use complaining because you have been caught out.

KoalaDownUnder · 17/04/2015 08:03

if I want my child to go to the school opposite my house (distance 0.02 from door to door) then I should be able to send him there regardless of religion!

Well, that's your opinion, but obviously not one shared by the school, so...Hmm. Tough luck, really!

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 17/04/2015 08:03

The school were in the right to discount the second baptism since it wasn't a baptism. Although like others I wonder how they found out if the PP didn't know.

I wonder if there is an argument that they should have accepted the first though. Obviously you wouldn't have sent in proof of the first baptism, but it might be difficult for them to argue they didn't have any proof of it if they rejected the second baptism without it.

However I suspect they realised you were playing the system to get into the school you wanted.

ArcheryAnnie · 17/04/2015 08:06

if I want my child to go to the school opposite my house (distance 0.02 from door to door) then I should be able to send him there regardless of religion

I completely agree (I was in the same position with the Catholic state school next door to us, who wouldn't even give me an application form), but the answer to that is not to cheat the system, but try to change the system.

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