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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

My 8 year old daughter is being teased at school because of her name?

30 replies

elsie1970 · 09/04/2015 17:28

Hello everyone,
My eight year old has been coming home from school very upset almost every day last half term, and now its getting near the summer term starting she says she doesn't want to go back. I know usually people do not share names on this website, but because that's what the questions about I'l tell you that her name is Kendall. I asked her why she didn't want to go back and she said "all the boys in my class laugh at me and say Kendall is a boys name." She then told me that she wanted me to talk to her teacher because she is embarrassed. I feel she is usually very confident and will try to sort out the problem herself, and that is the only reason I'm a bit worried that this is something more than name calling,but she wont't tell me. I've also had her eldest brother talk to her too, but nothing. Should I investigate further or just tell her class teacher she's having a problem?

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ClinkLady · 09/04/2015 17:34

Tell her they're wrong. It's unisex. I think Dell or Della is a logical nick name if that helps her at all even temporarily.

HeyheyheyGoodbye · 09/04/2015 17:36

Are they saying, 'Ken Doll,' at her? I've got a friend who went through that. Your poor DD. Kendall Jenner seems to be doing all right with that name! Although perhaps not the best reference for an 8 year old girl.

I'd speak to her teacher, as she's asked you to. Then she knows you're on her side and the teacher can look out for any other stuff.

Sexyhouseslippers · 09/04/2015 17:38

Your daughter has got a beautiful name and she should not worry. Perhaps speak to the teacher or the boys and tell them how it upset your daughter etc.

redskybynight · 09/04/2015 17:38

Definitely talk to her class teacher. TBH the reason is immaterial - other children at school are teasing her and she's upset - it needs to be addressed.

AsBrightAsAJewel · 09/04/2015 17:39

I've PM-ed you.

niceandwarm · 09/04/2015 17:45

Please tell the teacher and nip this in the bud. I was teased about my name (a bit unusual but not all that much) when at school and it's been an embarrassment my whole life. I've only just started telling it to people without cringing.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/04/2015 18:46

Is there a nickname she likes? Might be easier to go by that. In the meantime you do need to raise with teacher.

She might prefer to use a middle name as she gets older if she's not keen on the name but she shouldn't be forced into by others.

Molichite · 10/04/2015 08:18

Tell her teacher. And help her practice her with a couple of responses. It doesn't need to be cutting and clever, but something simple like "no, it's MY name and I like it" delivered confidently will help.

Heels99 · 10/04/2015 08:23

I too would go for della type nickname, Kendall I would assume is a long version of Ken and therefore a mans name. Kids do shorten each others names a lot and I guess they are calling her Ken or kenny. Does she have a middle name? It takes a tough kid to deal with being made fun of, I can see as a teen Kennie may be an option buts it's a rough ride for an 8 year old with a 'tricky' name.

LynetteScavo · 10/04/2015 08:30

What Heyhey said.

mummytime · 10/04/2015 09:04

Tell her teacher, and make sure they deal with it robustly.

Marmaladedandelions · 10/04/2015 09:58

There's a Kendall on Dance Moms () and she is very definitely female and a beautiful little girl :)

momtothree · 10/04/2015 10:05

Its a lovely name - dont change it because of bullies they found something to wind her up and doing it to upset her - couldve been anything but the name works to get their kicks!!!? Speak to the teacher and get DD a good response. Youre unkind works

rabbitstew · 10/04/2015 10:07

They aren't really teasing her because they think it's a boy's name (if she were a boy, they would be saying it's a girl's name...). They are teasing her because they know it upsets her. Kenneth is the long boy's name for Ken...

I would speak to the teacher. She's being bullied - there's nothing whatsoever wrong with her name.

glittertits · 10/04/2015 10:13

Can you arm her with some good comeback lines to tide her over until the teacher sorts it?

Kendall Jenner is very much female.

SomewhereIBelong · 10/04/2015 10:24

I know a Kendie - she is very feminine

I would just tell DD that some children feel the need to point out differences in others, that she just has a different name, it is not a nice thing to do and that it really is their problem not hers, a name is a name

(John Wayne's first name was Marion - try calling him a girl!)

Justusemyname · 10/04/2015 10:27

Giving her a nickname is giving into the bullies Imo but if your daughter wants to try that of course it is the right thing to do.

cansu · 10/04/2015 10:39

You should definitely speak to the teacher (am a teacher). This should be very easy for a primary school teacher to deal with. I would very simply tell the kids it is unacceptable and they must stop. At this age it is quite straight forward. They are doing it because they are getting away with it. In the long run your dd might decide to use a shortened version or nickname but she shouldn't feel she has to. I would also start working on responses she can use if this crops up with any new kids she might meet. I have quite an unusual name myself and did end up shortening it for my teens as I just felt more comfortable doing this.

BarbarianMum · 10/04/2015 14:57

I agree with the poster who said that they are doing it because it upsets her. It is not her fault, but her reaction that is feeding the teasing.

One thing that you could do is speak to her teacher. Another is to agree a bored/non response with your dd. The latter works best but can be tough when you are 8.

Legaldoodle · 10/04/2015 17:28

My first name led to teasing because it could be made to sound like a boy's name. I just put up with it all those years ago but changed to using my middle name at grammar school. Yes I was fed up but it didn't ruin my life. Use her middle name or use Della. Definitely try to ignore the other children.

NotMyChashkaChai · 10/04/2015 17:32

I have a female cousin called kendal (with one l - named after the place). It's definitely a girl's name in my book!

VivaLeBeaver · 10/04/2015 17:40

I used to get teased about my name and my mum used to tell me that if that's the only thing they could find to tease me about I wasn't doing do bad. Dunno if that's the best thing to be told but I did actually used to find some comfort that I wasn't getting teased about my looks, or being dim, or fat, or smelly.

And yes, Kendal Jenner is a very feminine supermodel type. Who seems more sensible than her older sisters.

Fantail · 11/04/2015 07:50

Teasing when good natured is fine, but you stop when the other person becomes upset. If you don't stop and continue to upset on purpose, then it is bullying.

Please talk to your daughter's teacher and try and sort this out.

Funnytobe · 11/04/2015 07:58

I know a Kendall in her twenties and everyone has always thought it was a cool name.

Definitely tell the teacher she is upset. They will sort it.

Also, children do tease each other and if it's not her name it could be something else. Like others have said, give her a few stock responses and get her to practise saying them with you.

I am a teacher and some children get teased/picked on/bullied throughout their school lives and it is not always for a discernible reason. Others who might seem more obvious targets don't and the difference is their reaction to it.

Millymollymama · 11/04/2015 13:08

Some children get upset very easily and some are very stoical. If getting upset is the tipping point into bullying, the stoical child may well have put up with just as much "bullying" but no-one knows because they have not said anything. Some children cry at the slightest provocation. I think children need to have a degree of resilience or teachers will spend days sorting out these matters. I know children can be very unkind and the teacher may well be able to help. Eventually children make friendship groups who, together, form a buffer "protection" zone and are pleasant to each other. The name callers are excluded. I am sure this will happen very soon OP and your DD will have a secure group of pleasant friends.

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