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Do I talk to this girl's mother or speak to the teacher?

95 replies

Amanda1 · 13/10/2006 10:46

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lockets · 17/10/2006 22:23

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imaginaryfriend · 17/10/2006 22:25

Amanda, do let us know what happens? Does your dd have any other little friends to play with at school? Can she form a new 'group'?

OliviaMumsnet · 17/10/2006 22:28

Lockets that deletion was an error. Apologies

lockets · 17/10/2006 22:29

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badkarma · 17/10/2006 22:34

MSM... what's your problem? Amanda1 hasn't lied!

Amanda1 · 17/10/2006 22:34

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MamaMaiasaura · 17/10/2006 22:34

Hi Amanda - only just seen this thread else I would have posted sooner. My ds is also in year 2 and changed schools at the end of last term too. IT is really hard as he had a good set of friends at his old school, luckily he still gets to his best friend fairly regulary. HE is starting to make some friends, first playdate on Thursday. Thing is not only have the other kids made their friend groups, I find the parents are more cliquey.. althou I guess that it probably seemed that way to new parents at ds's old school as I made some good friends there with other parents.

Ds was getting teased by some girls from another class and was also haveing problems with a boy in his class(altho this boy wasnt just singling ds out.. he would tell other children they smelt and were the worst people in the world - makes you ownder what he is told about himself).

On both occassions I spoke to the teacher quick smart and they have been good in overseeing that things dont get out of hand. The problems have stopped as they were nipped in the bud. Think you were right to speak to the teacher. It is hard to speak to the other parent when you dont know them particularly well, and the teachers should be well versed in dealing with these situations.

hope your dd is ok, she sounds a really sweet kid. My ds is quite sensitive (he writes little notes too ) and I think sometimes other kids can pick up on this.

Sorry that not all posters are helpful, I guess some people havent heard of the saying 'if you can't say anything nice shut your mouth'

Amanda1 · 17/10/2006 22:38

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badkarma · 17/10/2006 22:39

Amanda, on the 2 days that the friends are playing with B does your dd play alone? I find this heartbreaking...

Amanda1 · 17/10/2006 22:41

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MamaMaiasaura · 17/10/2006 22:44

I totally understand, it is hard to think of them feeling isolated. Do they not have a buddy bus stop system at the school.

My ds has become a buddy on firdays and plays with children who are alone. They get taught new games to teach the other kids. luckily ds has a younger cousin and neighbour in year 1 so he can always spend time with them.

I really think that parents should try not to dictate the friendships at school. I think that B's parents have issues with their own insecurites and are acting far more immature than the children. You are the new parent on the block which can be hard (I know)

Hope everything gets better soon, just be really supportive to dd. Try not to show dd that you are too upset about this situation as she may not confide in you about it for risk of upsetting you more. She sounds so caring she may be worried about upsetting you or you feeling sad.

xx

badkarma · 19/10/2006 09:51

How did parents evening go Amanda1?

amicissima · 19/10/2006 10:52

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Amanda1 · 19/10/2006 11:03

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battybird · 19/10/2006 11:25

hello, i have been having a similar problem with dd, she is in y3. dd's "friend" was told at the start of term to stay away from dd, and the friend also confirmed this to me in the playground and said she did not know why things had to be this way. Friends mother is totally unapproachable so decided to leave it and see if the kids could sort it out. to cut a long story short it has got far worse and is now causing issuses with other parents and their children as they believe friends mother is being unjust so am going to see teacher today to find out if he knows of any reason friend is to stay away from dd as dd claims not to of done anything wrong.

Amanda1 · 19/10/2006 16:57

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amicissima · 19/10/2006 17:21

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imaginaryfriend · 19/10/2006 19:04

Fantastic news, Amanda, and a real relief that schools do take this kind of theing seriously. Was your dd pleased with the outcome?

Amanda1 · 19/10/2006 19:08

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gtimama · 21/03/2007 14:36

I know I'm late in responding to this thread, but only just seen it. God it feels so good to see other mothers that have experienced the same as me.

One of my daughters experienced a really bad episode with friends last year, which was exascerbated (spelling!!) by mothers who cannot believe that their darling little precious girls can be nasty. It culminated with me and another mother falling out. Pretty ridiculous really.

All children can be nasty. They just are sometimes. Kids get bad tempered and tired. When their with each other for long periods of time they do get on each others nerves.

All I can say is some mothers are in for some shocks as their kids get older. Just accept that they make mistakes in relationships just the same as adults do. Stick up for your kids if they are being hurt (physically or emotionally), but don't think that yours can do no wrong.

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