Not reading at weekends

[MyFirstName]

If you are a teacher that has asked (via homework folders) for your Y2 pupils to read every Thur/Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon would you be pissed off with a parent who repeatedly wrote "We do not do schoolwork at the weekends" on the folder?

DS reads to be/DH every Mon-Fri without fail. Weekends though? Meh. We may read. We may be watching a film/science programme/camping/tired from rugby.

In front of my children I support the school's homework policy, which I think was a response to parent demands. In reality I think it is wrong to give 6yos homework - but totally appreciate DS's teacher gives them reading and spellings and the odd teeny bit extra. So I feel bad about "flouting" it. I do not want to give that message to DS. Yes we could fit reading in maybe Sat/Sun morning. But it is the weekend FFS.

So teachers - would this make you feel pissed off? Think of me as one of "those" parents. Blame me is DS is not top of the class? Or probably just thing "meh".

I'm not a teacher but personally I just wouldn't do it, why do you need to write anything? If your dc is reading regularly then I wouldn't write anything like that, just any relevant comments about the reading you have done..

I would wonder about a parent that just repeatedly wrote "We do not do schoolwork at the weekends". Why does it need to be repeatedly? Surely you can word it more politely?

"I'm really sorry but family commitments make it challenging to read on Saturdays and Sundays, however we will still read five times a week Monday - Friday."

I don't believe in homework for young dc either, but I think reading is fine.

If I saw a note like the one you're considering, I'd feel rather sad that the parent was teaching the child to view reading as "schoolwork". Reading should be fun!!!

Good question. Maybe it is just me feeling a bit Passive Aggressive...or just plain aggressive about the fact my babies are at school and they are being asked to do stuff at the weekend.

Now I have written it all down I may just ask the teacher if she could just ask them to read 5 times and list the 5 books/chapters rather than include the specific days iyswim.

I think I am trying to balance with DS the need to "do your homework" with the idea of "do your homework by Friday and then the weekend is yours". I am viewing the homework at Y2 more as a training for the futrure - to learn the habits, the discipline. We all sit down on homework afternoon with milkshake and cream cake to "get it done". He likes filling in the form and will absolutely, totally, never, ever(to quote Charlie and Lola) put in Tues/Weds books in the slots for Sat/Sun. I have tried explaining that he does the work, just not on the days and he doesn't like it (very rule conscious when it suits him).

I think a chat with the teacher may help.

It is a bit peculiar to say that you support the policy in front of your children, but then plan to write in a book which the child has regular access to and will be able to read. Not exactly a discrete way of handling it IMO.

Reading is fun. Or it felt like it more when it wasn't prescribed by exact day to day entries. And made part of the weekly handed out homework. Before this started he was the one all keen and eager to read to me. Now, because it is on the homework he seems to think it is something he has to do - and if we are too busy at the weekends he is beginning to see it as something hasn't done. If we do do it he has to go and get his bookbag out and write in the folder on the weekend, reminding him off school. If that makes sense.

I think I am mostly pissed off at the school/teacher trying to tell me (because it is me, let's not pretend it is my DS) when specifically to read. I want my son to feel the achievement of handing in a completed homework sheet. Ticked boxes, titles noted. To build a routine, a habit of getting stuff with deadlines (like homework) done before you chill out. Or, indeed to learn how to manage his own tasks. "We have to read a school book five times this week - do you want to read after school or at the weekends."

And IsitFriday I haven't written "we do not do schoolwork at the weekends" down at all. I have worded it much more politely - in fact pretty much as you worded it .

MrsCakes that is kind of my dilemma too. I am a governor, a parent helper (and not just with DCs classes) and active part of the school.

I am just trying to work out how to balance with my ferocious, aggressive defence of our weekend, with a mild annoyance at the teacher's wording and maintaining the outward support of the school to DS.

Oh I am not sure if I am making sense.

Oh bugger. I am going to just have to have a quick chat with the teacher aren't I? But she is really strict and scary . Seriously, she makes me feel about 5 years old and stuttery and I kind of turn to mush a bit.

I love the fact she makes me feel like this as she is doing wonders with a slightly unruly class of Y2s. Just need to ditch my inner 5 year old quivers and woman up.

So a change of question - would you, as a teacher, feel it unreasonable for a parent to ask you to just ask for 5 reading sessions on unspecified days?

Look, just go in and tell the teacher that you will definitely read with him at weekends but you (or ds) will choose the books and you will not write it in the reading record because you want him to think of reading as a pleasure and not a chore. I can't see many teachers objecting to supportive parents who take this approach! It's the ones who don't read at all that are the problem, surely?!

Reading is NOT homework. I find it very hard to believe you can't find ten minutes in the course of a weekend to do some reading with you child. It doesn't have to be a school assigned book, even reading a comic, or magazine, or even the sports pages of the newspaper. Stop teaching your child that reading is work, it's not.

Disclaimer

Thanks Midnite that is really helpful wanders off to beat self with reading record I tried to persuade him last weekend that he could write KFC menu in his homework folder, but he was not having any of it. And reading becomes HOMEWORK when it is prescribed as such in a folder entitled HOMEWORK FOLDER!

I am clearly not getting my point across. I do not want school to prescribe we have to read at the weekend. I do not want to have the "Let's do the some reading" at the weekend. It is the weekend. He was a reluctant reader to start with. He is learning a love of reading. Having it prescribed to him will not help that. I am not teaching my child that reading is work.

FWIW I have not done too badly with DD (8yo) - a huge bookworm reading age of an 11 yo and on the G&T list for her reading and literacy. We read (and enjoyed it) every M-F. Weekends were, well, weekends. Sometimes we read. Sometimes we didn't. But it didn't matter.

Snapes love that approach/wording. It actually articulates what I am trying to say but having taken all the "he is my baby and too young to be at school let alone be having homework" angst out of it. Thank you.

And yes. We did take the DCs to KFC.

Dons hardhat.

I would see writing that as a bit aggressive. However I always encouraged agents to share in reading diaries anything interesting their child has done too.

How about writing what you do do (which sounds lovely) "This weekend DC enjoyed watching xxx and talking about it with the family. The bit she found most interesting was xxx". That way I could follow that up during carpet time/register.

Auto correct! Agents of course = parents!!!

Primary I didn't/haven't actually written it. Though I kind of want to.

We have the opposite problem. Following an eye appointment where the doctor believes eye strain and tiredness to be contributing factors, we are not allowed to do DD1's homework after school. We have asked for an extra book at weekends.

Does the teacher need to know? If you are reading Monday to Thursday you are still doing what she asks? We normally dont do homework at the weekend apart from the past weekend when we had to do a project about our local area. We went for a lovely 3 hour walk looking for mills and following the water course, taking pictures. I enjoyed doing this, but am also pleased it was a one off as we are busy at the the weekends!
I do know a few working parents who prefer homework over the weekends because they don't have the time during the week.

My FirstName:

Slightly confused by whether this is just about reading or not.

With reading, I think reading regularly, making it a habit - but maybe making it special at the weekends in important. Our solution has been to read to the kids at weekends. We've read Charlotte's Web, A Christmas Carol, The Hobbit, and are finishing the final book of the Lemony Snicket Series of Unfortunate Events. So one night on the weekend (Fri- Sun) at least - sometimes more - the kids get the night off and we read to them.

We also have never felt terribly duty bound to 'read' the books sent home by school - so often read our own books/ library books.

It is slightly concerning that what you're saying is 'reading' isn't for pleasure but is work - that is the message you're sending to your kids - so you need to consider whether that is how you feel about it or not. Personally I like curling up with a good book, an interesting magazine or a huge Sunday newspaper. It's a lovely luxury for me.

I have more time at the weekend for reading/ homework than the week - because of work - so that suits us. As does bulk of homework over weekend than in week.

Since the school isn't asking for nightly reading - isn't the solution to read in the week and take weekends off. Let the teacher(s) know - and then don't sweat it.

If homework at weekends presents a problem - because you are often away, etc... - right now whilst they're young and there isn't much work anyway - I doubt it's a problem to do it in the week if that suits you.

Ultimately, come Senior School I doubt you will be able to make such an argument, unless your child is doing something extraordinary at the weekends (training for the Olympics territory frankly).

HTH

It was clearly far too late to post last night. Reading is for pleasure in our household (from someone who has just opened a box of £82 worth of books). DH, DD and I get through books at an alarming rate.

DS was a slightly reluctant reader. And slower to "get" it. Far more encouragement, a bit of bribery, the occasional sternness has been needed in the past to make sure he does read regularly to get the skills. He is there now.

We read regularly with him. He is coming on leaps and bounds. He asks for and gets additional reading time just before lights out (either with us/on his own). I frequently have to empty out his book bag as he has accumulated 20-odd books from school he want to read (but cannot carry his bag as he is still very tiny). He now takes a book in the car on the way to school (school in next village, no transport) rather than loom bands/a toy. We are absolutely on track. We do not make reading work. It is something we need to do regularly - and sometimes prompt (he will be wrapped up in Lego/the trampoline/playing with his sister and not think to do it if we didn't say so). I have also found with him it is far more a rewarding and valuable experience to read with him when he is not too tired. So after a snack in the afternoon, rather than just before bed.

Weekends are busy - though we try to make them as relaxed and free-flowing as possible to counteract the weekday routines. Seeing DH (long hours), rugby, GPs, helping in the garden. DH and I often do not get a chance to read til bedtime. DCs bedtime tends to be later. So regularly fitting in reading at the weekend with DS kind of grates. If we have a spare 30 minutes we may all sit and watch some television together.

In addition to this, I am trying to teach my children how to set aside time to do their chores/homework etc so it is not all a last minute rush. And the benefits of getting it done means then you do not have to think about it. Procrastination is pointless. That also it is a good thing to achieve your homework tasks - it helps you learn. It is good to try and please your teacher/aim high. I also try to make it fun. (I personally think at 6 he shouldn't get anything bar some spellings but hey, I am not going to flout the school in front of him). DS does not currently think homework is overly onerous - so school are getting it about right.

So, my problem is - school have said Read On These Specific Days as part of homework. I do not want to have the These Specific days dictated. I think weekends for a 6 and 8 year old should not be about homework. Or any school based stuff. Reading for pleasure yes - if it their choice. .Reading with us, yes if it is there choice. So yes, we could just ignore it. Not tick the Sat/Sun boxes on his homework folder. Easy yes? But DS sees his homework folder on a Monday. Remembers we haven't read. Will not believe me when I say it is OK. Can get a bit upset. I have reassured him. He will be OK. I just would like the school not to, in any way, specify Saturday and Sunday as a day DS is required to do anything. Say read 5 days a week, please list what you have read. Say read regularly, please list what you have read. Do not say "Read on these days". They do not say "Learn your spellings on Saturday" "Do your maths on Sunday" By putting the specific days to the reading it just irks me. And turns reading into work imho. Which it shouldn't be.

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Oh and I spoke to DS's teacher today. She is absolutely fine with him not reading on Sat/Sun as long as he is reading regularly - which she knows he is. (He has just gone up a level too.) She said she has the reading on the homework to remind some parents that it is still important in Y2 to do so regularly, and just to leave it blank.

Just going to see how I get around the tick boxes on the homework form on Monday. I want him to know he has achieved what is expected iyswim. Not that he is handing in incomplete homework. And before anyone suggests it, trying to get him to agree to me replacing the word Saturday and Sunday with Tuesday and Wednesday on his form caused all sorts of angst last week. Defacing his beloved teacher's form . I was very proud of sense of right/wrong.

Thank you for talking me down everyone. I probably would not have put my initial comments down (though I sort of wanted to). I will, one day, accept they are old enough to be at school

And stunned at the lack of response re the KFC!

Our reading records are just a little blank exercise book. You just write in them whenever you read with your child.

I would just leave saturday blank or do a bit more sunday evening and put some of it in saturdays box.

I'm guessing that the teacher prefers the children to read at the weekends so that they do it when they are fresh and not tired from school. If your'e reading the same number of times over the week it clearly doesn't matters and I'm glad the teacher has agreed.

To be honest it sounds like you're lucky. My Y2 DD has reading, phonics, maths and spellings mostly to be done at the weekend. It seems far to much to me but what can you do without being "that parent".

Every year at school my two have been given reading journals to keep, in which they are required to track the # of minutes read each day, to be signed by the parent and returned to teacher each week. Every year I have sent a letter to the teachers telling them that in our house, reading is a pleasure and that I do not want to lose that by turning it into a task to be clocked, so therefore we will not be tracking the daily minutes read, and asking the teacher to please talk to me if they have any concerns about my children's reading levels. Every year I have had a nice note back from the teachers saying that all is fine & not to worry about the reading journals.