Parent threatening to smack kid in reception cloakroom

[CreepyLittleBat]

Please be gentle with me, this is a genuine question and not just being judgemental. In the reception cloakroom today one of the 4yr olds was crying (not remarkable imo, in the first few weeks of term) and his mum shouted "Stop that noise or I'll smack you in front of all these people" - I am an ex teacher and my instinct is that this isn't right. I know some people think smacking is ok and I want to live and let live, but to me there's something odd about the "in front of all these people" - as if it's only the other people who've stopped this happening already? It's not the first time she's threatened her ds in everyone's hearing. On a selfish basis I don't want my dd hearing this and thinking hitting is ok because an adult does it. On a non selfish basis, and here's my question - should I mention it to the teacher/school? I don't want to be an interfering old bat and I know how difficult kids can be, but this (esp. the wording) worried me. What do I do if she carries out the threat? I don't feel like I can stand by and watch that.

Tiggy are you really suggesting that you would be concerned if you were told that the harrassed parent of an otherwise happy and well cared for child threatened to smack them?

neglect is surely a criminal offence though? smacking isnt. it is an accepted form of discipline in england (not scotland though?). naughty step is possible emotional abuse using your argument

I think phoning the school was an over reaction. I also think the teacher saying 'I thought it would be' ' was very un professional.

I have never and will never smack my children. But phoning the school because a parent threatened to smack a child seems like an incredible overreaction to me. You have no idea why the child was crying, and smacking sadly is not illegal. If there are serious concerns about the welfare of a child, presumably it wouldn't take long for a teacher to realise it, they don't need other parents to help them build a picture by reporting something like this. Don't get me wrong, its not parenting I approve of. But then I don't approve of at least 3 or 4 overheard parent-child interactions most weeks at the school gate (and some of them are my own ). I'd never be off the phone if I reported them all, and the school would quite rightly think me an interfering busybody. Op, this will not be the first or the last time you balk at what you hear at the school gates (last week I heard 'come over here you little fucker, you're really pissing me off'). Save your phonecalls for imminent and serious concerns, not somebody you judge 'may need extra support'- that is way beyond your remit as a fellow parent.

My Mum used to say exactly the same thing to me as a child. The idea was I'd be so mortified and ashamed at people seeing me being smacked. I'd behave. I'd also be scared of the smack and be quiet.

It's left me as an adult worrying what people think of me a lot and I'm a real worrier. All discipline in my childhood was about fear, intimidation and humiliation so I'd tow the line.

I think if I overheard a parent doing that, especially when the child is sad, I'd feel very upset. They need support not threats and if she behaves like that in front of people, what on Earth is she like at home

I'd have talked to the teacher too.

It's left me as an adult worrying what people think of me a lot

No, that is how 99% of people feel especially up to middle age.

I think there is a lot of inexperience with children here.
The child might have been upset, but equally he might have been told off, might be being silly or seeking attention.The mother knows the child best.
A smack on the bum, is not illegal and still less a threat of a smack on the bum.indeed many of us on this thread will have received such a smack from their primary school teachers when they were that age.

Well it's left me with far bigger problems and on the stately homes thread but I didn't want to hi jack the thread...

My mum used to say "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." I didn't like it much to be honest but it did stop me turning on the waterworks for any little thing. Parenting used to be a lot harsher and so was discipline in schools. I'm not saying I agree with the old style but I think the OP is possibly rather easily shocked.